Replicant Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 So again I ask, should I make a little stink about this or just forget it? The bf that she got it from ended their relationship about 2.5 years ago, and she hasn't seen or spoken to him since, so I'm not worried that she's having feelings for him again or anything that crazy... If she's wearing it as just a piece of jewelery, fine there is nothing symbolic or disrespectful coming from that then....Had you not known whom gave it to her, it would just be another ring...right? Also you have no evidence she's lapsed back into the past of being in contact with her ex. So like others have stated unless this is a compound problem you feel the need to discuss with her. Just avoid it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 RE: You are confining yourself in a box, Chauncey. Why? There is much more to this story than meets the eye, and believe it or not, that's how I see it. You should ask her. Talk to her. Why? Because you are in a loving relationship with this woman, and have the right to discuss your thoughts and/or feelings on any matter/subject line. You shouldn't run away from your girlfriend. With that said, a woman wearing any piece of jewelery in public, exposing it to the world, symbolizes her state of mind and heart. Wearing the same piece of jewelery to bed, is bringing it to a much more intimate level. In my opinion, you should get to the bottom of this -and it doesn't mean ripping open her past, but politely expressing your feelings towards the issue. If she has nothing to hide, then she won't have a hard time telling you the truth. Sand&Water Link to post Share on other sites
shanny Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 I wouldn't be upset about it at all. I still wear two rings that my ex got me... they have no sentimental value to me at all. They're just pretty. They were expensive too... why have naked hands when they can be covered with pretty jewels. It sounds like you have a good relationship. I wouldn't worry about it. Link to post Share on other sites
lexi29 Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Hi, I've read some of your other posts and I think either your gf is just clueless and is wearing the ring just because she likes it or that she is testing you. If she told you the ring was given to her from an ex bf and she knows you remember this, maybe she is testing your limits to see if this will upset you. When I am dating someone, I won't hardly ever wear anything given to me by an ex, not even a sweatshirt, much less a piece of jewelry. For some reason I would feel I am disrespecting my current bf by doing so. I have rings given to me by exes that I like (the jewelry not the exes) and I might occasionally wear one of those rings but I certainly wouldn't wear it every day or wear it to bed. I could be analyzing this too much but combined with the other issues of the relationship it seems that she is testing you and at the same time letting you know you aren't as important to her anymore. That she doesn't value your feelings. I would suggest talking to her about the issue. After all, what is the point of dating someone if you can't be open and talk to them when something is bothering you. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chauncey Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 I thought about it more and believe that she really just likes the ring. However she has quite a bit of jewelry, not to mention quite a collection of rings (she's Daddy's little girl, whom she gets a lot of jewelry from) and it's a bit strange of all her rings she would wear this one. Again I haven't seen it since this past summer, but still it's a bit odd. As far as sleeping with it, she sleeps with all of her jewelry on (necklaces, earrings, bracelets, etc.) so I don't analyze this as much. I rarely get to see her (2 days out of the week) so it's not like I'm always around to notice. Either way when I see her this weekend and if she is still wearing the ring I will more than likely bring it up. Link to post Share on other sites
twice_shy Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 No, I don't have any jewelry. I've only been in 4 relationships including the one I'm currently in, and nothing has ever been this serious. well get yourself a watch or bracelet or something, and just tell her its from an old girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chauncey Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 well get yourself a watch or bracelet or something, and just tell her its from an old girlfriend. Hahah, isn't that a little counterproductive for the relationship? I think I'm above going out of my way to try to make her jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
twice_shy Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Hahah, isn't that a little counterproductive for the relationship? I think I'm above going out of my way to try to make her jealous. Counterproductive to a relationship with a girl that seems to hold on to remnants of the past with past X's? And its not about making her jealous, its about seeing if how she would feel about you doing the same thing she is doing. You are obviously bothered by the fact that she is wearing jewelry from other guys. And not just jewelry, rings that are to have some sentimental meaning. So if it bothers you so, what do you intend to do about it? Did you tell her it bothers you that she wears sentinemtal items from other men? If so, what was her resopnse. Her response to your concerns will be the indicator on whether she respects you or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chauncey Posted February 28, 2008 Author Share Posted February 28, 2008 Okay, again I have come to conflictive views, held by those who have responded to my thread. I spoke to her the other night about the ring. I first confirmed with her that she received it from an exboyfriend. I told her that I thought it was in bad taste for her to wearing jewelry, especially a ring that she received from another man she was at one point dating. She got a little defensive and said, "well I don't wear the ring because of who gave it to me, I just wear it because it's a nice ring". I replied, "oh, ok, if that's how you feel." Again I know I have nothing to worry about as she received that ring from the exboyfriend before her last one. It's just that I still find it in bad taste and hope that I'm not entirely out of line, strange, demented, etc. for thinking this way. Again some people say it's fine if she just looks at it as a ring, while other say it isn't...so confusing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chauncey Posted March 17, 2008 Author Share Posted March 17, 2008 So my gf came over to my house this weekend to visit my brother who just got back from Iraq. It was the final member of my family she had yet to meet. Again she was wearing the ring in question, and it didn't bother me right away, but throughout the night I found myself looking at it more. I spent the weekend with her, and the entire weekend, even when we were having sex, she wore it (she's been wearing mine as well I must mention). I know she told me that it doesn't hold any sentimental value or the related, it's just a nice ring and she appreciates its beauty, but doesn't it still ultimately stand for a period in her life that she was with another man, not to mention someone that neglected her? I'm really confused about all of this. I know I should really just let it go, it shouldn't bother me this much, maybe I'm just strange... Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Let me ask you this: if the roles were reversed do you think your girlfriend would be so accepting as you? Do you think she would have no problem about you wearing it when you had sex? Think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chauncey Posted March 17, 2008 Author Share Posted March 17, 2008 Let me ask you this: if the roles were reversed do you think your girlfriend would be so accepting as you? Do you think she would have no problem about you wearing it when you had sex? Think about it. You know it's funny, as I've thought about that a couple of times, and to be completely frank, I have absolutely no idea. I know my gf gets a bit jealous of when other girls hit on me or tell her how handsome/sexy I am, and based on what little I can decipher I could maybe see my gf feeling a bit uncomfortable. I hate to be the lesser person here, but maybe I should just get a piece of jewelry and when she asks, pass it off as being a gift from a former gf but say it doesn't mean much, I just like it.... Link to post Share on other sites
AAlike Posted March 18, 2008 Share Posted March 18, 2008 dude, all of your threads are just manifestations of one big problem. you're just nitpicking now. If you were secure in your relationship something this stupid wouldn't bother you. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 So my gf came over to my house this weekend to visit my brother who just got back from Iraq. It was the final member of my family she had yet to meet. Again she was wearing the ring in question, and it didn't bother me right away, but throughout the night I found myself looking at it more. I spent the weekend with her, and the entire weekend, even when we were having sex, she wore it (she's been wearing mine as well I must mention). I know she told me that it doesn't hold any sentimental value or the related, it's just a nice ring and she appreciates its beauty, but doesn't it still ultimately stand for a period in her life that she was with another man, not to mention someone that neglected her? I'm really confused about all of this. I know I should really just let it go, it shouldn't bother me this much, maybe I'm just strange... Either get over it... or ask her not to wear it! Crap... if you showed up in some mothbitten liesure suite from the 70's, everyone would give her full a standing ovation for telling you to put something else on. So... TELL Her how fugly that ring is... then ask her not to wear and and buy her a new one that's similar but better! Or... continue to be super passive aggresive and never get what you want. I think your very insecure about this relationship Chauncey! You need to fix that by taking action. I feel that you are too caught up with being "nice" to actually get what you want out of this relationship. dude, all of your threads are just manifestations of one big problem. you're just nitpicking now. If you were secure in your relationship something this stupid wouldn't bother you. Exactly! This is exactly it. Good call AAlike! Link to post Share on other sites
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