jerbear Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Would any of you 40 something ladies allow a 30 something to pursue you? How would you want him to pursue? chase? and to catch you? I'm seeking ideas and insights. End goal is marriage and kids. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I have never been interested in younger men. So for me the answer would be no. I have to ask as a 30 something, why would you actively pursue a 40 something year old woman for marriage and children? Despite the sensational headlines, having children over 40 is rough. Regardless of the woman's health, it is always defined as a high risk pregnancy. I'm not saying women my age can't have kids, they can - but I have flat out said I won't. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Would any of you 40 something ladies allow a 30 something to pursue you? How would you want him to pursue? chase? and to catch you? I'm seeking ideas and insights. End goal is marriage and kids. Hell yes.. even 20 something.. lol I never did the first step with a much younger man. But in my case, no chance for marriage or kids.. Link to post Share on other sites
compassion42 Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Sure, I would and have dated much younger men. I don't think there is any special trick for you to use to entice and older woman-just be yourself and approach it like you would if she were your age. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerbear Posted February 18, 2008 Author Share Posted February 18, 2008 Thank you everyone for your comments and opinions! I have to ask as a 30 something, why would you actively pursue a 40 something year old woman for marriage and children? Despite the sensational headlines, having children over 40 is rough. Regardless of the woman's health, it is always defined as a high risk pregnancy. I'm not saying women my age can't have kids, they can - but I have flat out said I won't. Well the having kids part is a valid concern. Even I thought about it and still would proceed. I do not know why and it does not make sense but to me, ok. Hell yes.. even 20 something.. lol I never did the first step with a much younger man. But in my case, no chance for marriage or kids.. Yeah the kids is a concern but to me I feel I can always adopt or have a test tube set of twins! Sure, I would and have dated much younger men. I don't think there is any special trick for you to use to entice and older woman-just be yourself and approach it like you would if she were your age. I like that, I've asked her to join me on a trip and we've chatted. I think she might be surprised a younger man is chasing and even put up with her. Oh well... Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Would any of you 40 something ladies allow a 30 something to pursue you? Permit some fit young stud to indicate sexual/romantic interest in me? Outrageous, and I won't have it. How would you want him to pursue? chase? and to catch you? I'm seeking ideas and insights. The first time I got involved with a significantly younger guy, he was 23 and I was 31. His initial approach involved being very confident and unabashed - and shrugging off embarrassed protestations I made regarding the age difference. Obviously if you want to get the relationship onto a serious footing, a bit more application of deep thinking and emotional intelligence is in order. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Would any of you 40 something ladies allow a 30 something to pursue you? How would you want him to pursue? chase? and to catch you? I'm seeking ideas and insights. End goal is marriage and kids. I would not have a problem entertaining the idea of a younger man...I don't think age matter's all that much.. it's more about beign compatible. Just for the record..I'm not quite forty yet have a couple year's to go! AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Oh JER, I thought this post was about me at first..... until I read the kid part. Shame.... I would be game if you didn't want to spawn. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 I'm not a 40 something woman but go for it, jerbear! Most 30 somethings and 40 somethings, are in similar places in life! As for making babies at 40 something, I firmly believe that the existing stats are based on unhealthy women from the previous few generations. Ladies rock these days, where some are even buff, at 40 something. Link to post Share on other sites
sandflea Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 What? Date someone who knows what she wants, stays in shape, doesn't want kids, is financially secure, and really APPRECIATES your affections? Are you KIDDING? One of the most passionate (and wild) flings I've ever had was with a woman 5-6 years older than me. I was 37 and she was like 43. Kept herself in Excellent shape, was an incredible fashion nut - and the sex was exquisit. For a while, I thought it was love... Older women are fantastic! It's the younger ones that occassionally give me the creeps. SF Link to post Share on other sites
StartingOver07 Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Would any of you 40 something ladies allow a 30 something to pursue you? How would you want him to pursue? chase? and to catch you? I'm seeking ideas and insights. End goal is marriage and kids. I might date a guy in his 30's, but I am done with babies. So if the 30-something guy made it clear that this was his goal, I would politely decline his advances. I imagine that most women in their 40's have either had all the babies they want or have decided that parenthood is not for them. There could be exceptions, but I don't think there is a vast pool of 40+ women waiting to have a high-risk pregnancy (outside of Hollywood!). Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 What? Date someone who knows what she wants, stays in shape, doesn't want kids, is financially secure, and really APPRECIATES your affections? Are you KIDDING? One of the most passionate (and wild) flings I've ever had was with a woman 5-6 years older than me. I was 37 and she was like 43. Kept herself in Excellent shape, was an incredible fashion nut - and the sex was exquisit. For a while, I thought it was love... Older women are fantastic! It's the younger ones that occassionally give me the creeps. SF Ohhh... so well said... I think I like you a lot.. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 You're asking the Queen of the cougars here.... Yes, I would date a 30 something when I hit my forties. I date way to young right now- early 20's...and it doesn't ever work out. I think guys in their 30's normally do have there crap together.... I don't see much of a problem with age when you are talking 30+ to 40+ age range. Me, at my age dating 22 year olds is dumb. Being in your 30's pursuing a woman in her 40's isn't out of the ordinary.... Yes, women can have babies in their 40's- but it is harder. I'd concentrate on feelings and relationship first- and then think about babies...lol. Maybe getting ahead of youself...haha Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerbear Posted February 20, 2008 Author Share Posted February 20, 2008 I've always had a thing for older women, even if they are 1 month older when I was a teen. Now I pursue almost any older woman. I think they are the greatest. yeah the kids part is a concern but honestly I would not mind adopting. Pretty much any woman older than me is game, cougars, MILFs, GMILFS, are game but cougars & MILFs are my final target as I want kids of my own. I did bring it up to her that I am after her and not for an FWB, fling, or be a lover. Told her I wanted her as my wife. so far we're still talking, no date yet. She told me she was not ready I said something similar (my job issues ) so we're chatting and made plans to "meet." Who knows what this may lead to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerbear Posted February 20, 2008 Author Share Posted February 20, 2008 (edited) Yes, women can have babies in their 40's- but it is harder. I'd concentrate on feelings and relationship first- and then think about babies...lol. Maybe getting ahead of youself...haha I know what I want and going after it, I told her my goal and letting her know she is a target! She might be older and can be a cougar. I might be cougar bait but don't you hate it when the bait actually bites back? I might date a guy in his 30's, but I am done with babies. So if the 30-something guy made it clear that this was his goal, I would politely decline his advances. I imagine that most women in their 40's have either had all the babies they want or have decided that parenthood is not for them. There could be exceptions, but I don't think there is a vast pool of 40+ women waiting to have a high-risk pregnancy (outside of Hollywood!). yeah It was one of my concerns is the baby aspect. Granted I did tell her I wanted twins and I'll be stacking the deck toward twins. .So she'll just provide the eggs and "oven" while I provide the rest. Older women are fantastic! It's the younger ones that occassionally give me the creeps. Oh yeah! you know what I'm talking about!!! I've always had "older" ones. Oh JER, I thought this post was about me at first..... until I read the kid part. Shame.... I would be game if you didn't want to spawn. Well I'm still single, an FWB is still possible? As for making babies at 40 something, I firmly believe that the existing stats are based on unhealthy women from the previous few generations. Ladies rock these days, where some are even buff, at 40 something. You may not be forty but I think you rock!!! I know you would be a hot 40 something. You are older than me so your still fair game. I would not have a problem entertaining the idea of a younger man...I don't think age matter's all that much.. it's more about beign compatible. Just for the record..I'm not quite forty yet have a couple year's to go! AP:) I think she is somewhat entertaining the idea of me. Granted we're friendly and taking it oneday at a time. Both keeping our options open. Permit some fit young stud to indicate sexual/romantic interest in me? Outrageous, and I won't have it. The first time I got involved with a significantly younger guy, he was 23 and I was 31. His initial approach involved being very confident and unabashed - and shrugging off embarrassed protestations I made regarding the age difference. Obviously if you want to get the relationship onto a serious footing, a bit more application of deep thinking and emotional intelligence is in order. I was her emotional rock once, I think I know her and sometimes when she is upset I just know from her voice. She's always pursued older men and I threw her off as someone much younger. The age is one of her biggest concerns. We do have some emotional connections and thinking. She called me once to "yell" at me and wanted to end the friendship / put a stop to my pursuit. Told her that we shouldn't jump the conclusions and maybe try to work at it? Told her I can be useful to her and not many guys can handle her emotional swings.. Even told her I actually enjoy her swings and that she helps calm me and level me out. So far we're still talking. So who know what the future holds. I told her I'm going to be myself and she'll have to put me in my place but I'll still cross the line. Edited February 20, 2008 by jerbear Link to post Share on other sites
justpassingthrough Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Would any of you 40 something ladies allow a 30 something to pursue you? H-E-doubletoothpicks YES! How would you want him to pursue? chase? and to catch you? I'm seeking ideas and insights. Oh, at this stage in my life, I definately know what I want and a guy has got to woo me or it's game over. End goal is marriage and kids. The kids things is a sticking point. And it's not just about pregnancy and child birth after 40, it's about the next 18 years as well. Have that talk before your heart gets broken. Link to post Share on other sites
sandflea Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Ohhh... so well said... I think I like you a lot.. Hubba hubba~! You made my day! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerbear Posted February 20, 2008 Author Share Posted February 20, 2008 Oh, at this stage in my life, I definately know what I want and a guy has got to woo me or it's game over. The kids things is a sticking point. And it's not just about pregnancy and child birth after 40, it's about the next 18 years as well. Have that talk before your heart gets broken. yeah the kids is the hard part. The wooing is not a problem. oh well... I'm going on a business trip and she is in busy season. Link to post Share on other sites
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