need advice badly

[chrisk]

Ok never really done this before but here it goes. I have been with my fiancee for four years now and we have two beautiful children. I love him very much and we are supposed to get married in september but about 10 months ago he cheated ith some strange girl at a party. I didn't find out for two weeks after he did it. He lied to me when I asked him about it. He said it was the only time it happened. The worst thing is that I was 7 months pregnant at the time. At the same time he was having a phone relationship with another girl. He said he was sorry and he would stop talking to her but he kept doing it for another month 'til I actually left. A month or so after the birth of my son I found out from a friend that he had an affair before the girl at the party with a girl I know. He says he is so sorry and that it is all behind him and he will never do it again. Now I'm having a hard time believing him when he goes out with friends and works late. Now I don't want him to have friends that are girls am I wrong for that? Am I being unfair? I really don't want to leave him, he is my first and we have two children together. I really do love him and I need some help figuring out what to do. I have thought about leaving but I really love him but I don't trust him. Thank you for reading my post. I really need to someone to talk to because our family doesn't know and friends sre no help. Thanks again.

[turtle]

I don't think it's wrong for you to be upset about him having friends that are female. He has already shown that he isn't responsible and can't be trusted. Perhaps you need to be included more when he goes out with his friends. Do you ever come along as a "couples night out" or is it always just him and his friends?

 

You sound like you have already made up your mind that you want to stay with him, so I won't try to talk you into leaving him.

 

You need to sit down and tell him how much his behavour hurt you and that it is not tolerable. You also need to make it absolutely clear that if you ever catch him cheating again, you will leave him. No more second chances.

 

I know it's a tough situation because you love him and you have 2 children together. Generally, a man who has already cheated is likely to cheat again....so be careful.