dominic Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Hi to all, I'm new around here so, nice to meet you all! Anyway, I'm 30, married for one year; no kids but my wife has a 5 yrs old daughter; things are not exactly perfect at home. We don't fight or anything, it's just that lately I have started looking at my wife more as a friend than anything else. Now it's me coming out with excuses to avoid intimacy... this feels so upside down... While this has been going on for the last 2-3 months, since 2 weeks ago I have been feeling strong emotions for another woman; we are both in graduate school and are taking classes together. From the beginning we started talking and teaming up for assignments and projects. She is also expected to get married later this year and she's right now in a long distance relationship. Anyway, I feel really happy when she's around, she's a great person and time simply flies away with her; I feel so... alive... Hoping to put an end to this weird situation I told her I couldn't keep meeting her because basically I have a crush on her and it's not right for our respective partners (I have never ever cheated on my wife or any previous gf), but that I don't want her to think it's because she did anything wrong. I think I hoped she'd take a step away knowing my feeling but she rather surprised me when she said it didn't bother her, that she's aware of our situations and that basically it's up to me if I want to keep teaming up with her. She certainly would like to (her words). I certainly don't want to cheat on my wife, but I don't want to loose a great friend neither. Emotions don't really help tough... Any insights? Any similar experiences? Regards Dominic Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Hi to all, I'm new around here so, nice to meet you all! Anyway, I'm 30, married for one year; no kids but my wife has a 5 yrs old daughter; things are not exactly perfect at home. We don't fight or anything, it's just that lately I have started looking at my wife more as a friend than anything else. Now it's me coming out with excuses to avoid intimacy... this feels so upside down... I certainly don't want to cheat on my wife, but I don't want to loose a great friend neither. Emotions don't really help tough... Any insights? Any similar experiences? Well, that sounds like a tough situation. Why do you think the sudden drop in feelings for your wife? Also, I think you did the right thing with your female friend. It's probably best if you just stayed away from her for a while. It seems like maybe she has some kind of shared connection with you and that could be dangerous for you both. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dominic Posted February 19, 2008 Author Share Posted February 19, 2008 Thank you for the very quick reply Cobra Well, my wife went trough depression shortly after marriage (seems like she was still caring stuff over from her previous marriage). Anyway, she was under professional care but obviously her sexual drive was really low. In the beginning it was hard for me, but later on, with the help of the doctors, I understood it wasn't her fault or mine, just her mind and body. I think I somehow put my desire in sleep mode and didn't bother too much with it. Now my wife is "up and running again" (looking for me, putting sexy clothes) but... it just doesn't move me as it used to... Again, this was like this waay before I started meeting with my friend, so it's not due to the crush. About my friend, it really confuses me that she's perfectly fine knowing how I feel for her... but again who am I to try to understand a woman...? Link to post Share on other sites
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