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Lingering Self-esteem issues


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MexicanBillBacker

Since I could remember I was bullied at school. I never really had a strong character and was a bit fat when I was a little kid so I guess everyone found it easy to pick on me. I never had many friends I just hanged out with the geeky kids talking about the latest videogames and computer app. When I entered 10th grade(Start of HS in Mexico) everything started changing. I talked to more people, made new friends but still my main group of friends were 4 girls and a couple guys. Then "Boom" Jr. year started and I became really, really popular. I'm on a different wavelength than kids going to my HS. Because kids from my HS might be popular but while I'm popular in my HS I'm also popular in other HS preppy clicks.

 

I'll use the Superbowl weekend for example. School ended around 2:30 pm...3 of my buddies arrived from another HS 30 minutes away in 2 cars we had some lunch at a nearby mall and picked up some girls who are friends of mine. We went to the nearby lake of the City of Monterrey and went to a bar and had a couple of drinks. Girls rented a hotel room we drank some more then left my buddy dropped me off at my other friend's party. Saturday I hanged out with some other friends went to a party had some dinner and went home. Sunday after watching the superbowl with my family a girl who is my friend threw a party with lots of booze and was there till the police came because we are all minors and were too loud...fun times

 

 

The problem is while I'm having the time of my life. Those same self-esteem issues linger on from my youth. I'd really like to change that and be more outgoing, more fun to be with without worrying about what other people think.

 

I'm never sure of myself...When I I'm talking to a girl I keep thinking that I'm ugly and I always have to go up to a mirror to reassure myself that I'm not. While I might think I'm ugly the mirror says otherwise :p but it sucks going to the bathroom to get reassurance every couple of minutes.

 

Its also taking a tax on my love life...I've never had a girlfriend and I'm 17, which is understandable because I've only been popular for 5 months but still If I have a dream is to fall in love with someone that feels the same way about me.

 

Help pleasee

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MexicanBillBacker
Girls that will be interested in you due to popularity will fail miserably at a relationship.

 

I don't think they care about popularity

 

I'm just saying how can I expect someone to fall for me if I don't really like myself, respect myself thanks to my childhood and early adolescent years

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Why are you so worried about it?

 

If someone wants to be around you, then they want to be around you - if not don't worry about it.

 

Coming off as obsessed with getting a girl friend doesn't look good.

 

I think you are trying too hard.

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MexicanBillBacker

I guess I'm scared because I've never had a girlfriend and I'm 17. I'm scared that it might be possible that I'll never have one and it scares the **** out of me.

 

I'm in love with my best friend. Well she used to be my best friend, now its just like weird. She gives me mixed signals and I'm not very experienced I don't know what to do really. I just want her to be happy though I just hope she doesn't fall in love with an ******* that would hurt her.

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So, if she doesn't have a current BF and your already close - just ask her?

 

Don't like declare your un-dieing love but just start talking and say something to the effect of hey since you don't have a BF do you wanna try going out with me? - or something like. If she says no at least you tried.

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I just want her to be happy though I just hope she doesn't fall in love with an ******* that would hurt her.
Nice guy syndrome. Been there, done that. Plenty'o scars to prove it. I didn't have self esteem problems in school, but was merely shy around girls (typical HSP behavior, I now know). I felt I was invisible.

 

30 years later I still find myself wanting those I love to be happy, even if it is with someone else. Don't make that mistake. You be happy. Let her figure out her own way. If she's interested in you beyond friendship, good on ya. If you want her for your girlfriend and not a platonic friend, don't settle. It'll eat you up inside.

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MexicanBillBacker

Thanks guys for all the help

 

I just wanna now how can I make my self-esteem better, I really don't have much at all. Its dragging me down at all levels =(

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