strange anxiety?

[jeepers31]

I just got out of a not so long dating relationship that didnt end very well. It wasnt even very long, just a month.

I got bamboozled by a commitment-phobic man. Now that it's been a few weeks since we've spoken at all, the thought of dating completely causes me anxiety. I don't even want to talk to new men right now.

 

In the past, when I have had this happen, I just disappeared and cancelled my online dating membership (which is where I met him) I don't want to cancel it now, and want to meet others, but I'm so.....anxious?

I mean the last time I cancelled everything I was gone for 4 years... I don't want to lose that opportunity to meet someone, but I don't know what to do to ease my anxiety.

 

I also want to know how not to take online dating so seriously. Maybe my mind is askew of the current situation, but I find it hard not to.

 

Any advice, comfort, suggestions?

Thanks

[Wonder125]

Wow, anxiety is never something that I really understood too much but, I challenge you to test your fears. What you fears of staying online could possibly be, I don't know.

 

Worst case scenario. It happens. (Whatever IT is)

 

Best case scenario. It doesn't happen.

 

Imagine this. you are fearing something, and you are 100% positive that i you don't do _________, _________ will happen.

 

What if you could turn it around and use that 100% the other way?

Gets you thinking huh?

[D-Lish]

The online dating scene- not to mention just the plain old dating scene is a difficult place.

 

I go through periods when I have had a bad run and want to cancel my membership(s). It also doesn't help when someone you liked but screwed you over is on the same site and you have to see their picture flash by once and a while!

 

It has to do with rejection obviously. The fear of getting rejected is pretty valid- but also an inevitable part of dating. I struggle with dealing with it, I think everyone does.

 

That expression that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince isn't that far off. The older I get the more I realize that to be true. I didn't have too many short term relationships prior to my divorce.... since then (almost 6 years) I have averaged a month to four months. I've been dumped, and I have also dumped others. Being rejected doesn't get easier, as much as it becomes something that you have to recognize as a possibility everytime you meet someone you like.

 

I think you should stick it out. You don't have to limit yourself to concentrating on one person. I just try to take things slow now with guys I really like.

 

I have been seeing someone for just over a month and we get along really well, but he is a self proclaimed comittment-phobic guy. He has been honest about it since day one. We had a long talk the other day and he e-mailed me today to say he wants me in his life because we have so much fun- but he wants to keep it casual. There is a lot of that going around.

 

I don't think you should give up. Rejection is simply an unfortunate part of dating. You can't date without running into it, so you have to find a way to wrap your head around it without letting it get to you so much. Maybe try and take things slower when you meet someone.

 

There are a lot of frogs out there- but somewhere, out there...there is someone who is worth taking a chance on. You won't ever find that person if you give up.