Star Gazer Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 I keep seeing this phrase on girls' MySpace pages, and a friend just said it to me as some form of advice... it's turning into a cultural dating proverb, it seems. I suppose it should be obvious, but how do you interpret that phrase?
Florida Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 Catchy! Date as many guys as possible at once, keep them at bay, don't commit. That's all fine if you're into that in the 1st place, also I take issue with the phrase "date like a man". Some men only date one girl at a time, and are very serious about it when they do. The best way for me to take that would be "don't put all your feelings out there until he has proven he feels that way by being crazy about you first" or however it was stated on that other thread .You know the one SG.
Kamille Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 I might have used that sentence once or twice. It actually helped me in my dating life at one point. For me it means: have fun dating but don't commit until you've found someone who is really worth your time. For the rest, enjoy what you get for what it is. Most importantly, don't take it personnally. I remember reading in a magazine like psychology today that men have a tendency to capitalize on most attention that they get; they had a tendency to think that almost every woman was interested in them. So to me, date like a man also means, date like you know they want you and if they pull back, it's because of them, not because of you. Sorry if I'm not clear. I somehow managed to catch SB's cold and am starting a fever.
sb129 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 I keep seeing this phrase on girls' MySpace pages, and a friend just said it to me as some form of advice... it's turning into a cultural dating proverb, it seems. I suppose it should be obvious, but how do you interpret that phrase? See Tanbarks thread. I think the coffee shop girl is playing by this phrase.
Trialbyfire Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 My take on it would be for women not to get emotionally attached to their dates. Keep it superficial and move on fast. Player mentality.
Art_Critic Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 My take on it would be for women not to get emotionally attached to their dates. Keep it superficial and move on fast. Player mentality. I agree with TBF... Have game...
EYECANDY000 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 Hmmmmm!!! The way I interpret that phrase is: _ Only answering questions thats asked, never offer more imformation about yourself _ Keep it physical. without expecting any emotional attachment _ Expect the worst, and dont be surprised with the most _ Dont answer question that begin with "where you?, Why you? Who you? and How you? Things are just some examples I think some men do, and I think if fyou can follow their lead you wont get burned in the end.
allina Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 See Tanbarks thread. I think the coffee shop girl is playing by this phrase. I don't think I agree with this. This is really vague but to me it means not losing yourself and your sanity for a guy. Not waiting by the phone, not creating hopes in your head for a relationship that clearly won't happen. I've noticed that something men do is take people's words at face value while women interpret a man's word's to mean what they wish them to mean. I think that in part to "date like a man" relates to that saying "people tell you who they are, you just have to listen" So many women create wishful fantasies in their minds and wait desperately for any evidence that their fantasy is true, men are more realistic.
redfathom Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 I don't think it's fair to generalize people into specific roles. I think in todays soceity often times these "roles" have been reveresed. I think growing up we are trained to believe that men and women act and respond in very specific ways. So in fact the phrase might be "date like a man..." but I think it's fair to say that many men get hurt as much as women. If people would be honest and communicate their intentions from the begining a lot of people would have their feelings saved.
redfathom Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 So many women create wishful fantasies in their minds and wait desperately for any evidence that their fantasy is true, men are more realistic. Ahmen!!
tanbark813 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 When I first read the phrase I interpreted it more like a general "don't be a doormat" kind of thing. "Date like a man" meaning more of a "man up" type of thing. I didn't think it meant literally for women to date like they perceive men to do. BUT, I don't think they could anyway. Women tend to be too afraid of approaching, rejection, and making the first move. Men are much more used to that. (They have to be.) So many women create wishful fantasies in their minds and wait desperately for any evidence that their fantasy is true, men are more realistic. So true.
sb129 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 I was kidding, and not taking the question seriously. Sorry Tanbark. I meant that he was waiting for HER to email him back, which is a more common situation if you switch the genders. Which is why I applied it to this thread.
tanbark813 Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 I was kidding, and not taking the question seriously. Sorry Tanbark. No worries.
Pyro Posted February 20, 2008 Posted February 20, 2008 (edited) I keep seeing this phrase on girls' MySpace pages, and a friend just said it to me as some form of advice... it's turning into a cultural dating proverb, it seems. I suppose it should be obvious, but how do you interpret that phrase? Like some of the others have said already, I think that it means to not invest all your feelings so fast and so soon. That would imply if you are into dating one person at a time. If you are more into serial dating, then like TBF said, keep it superficial and move on fast. Edited February 20, 2008 by Pyro More thoughts
sally4sara Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Dating like a man, to me, is putting more thought into whether I'm really into the guy I'm seeing and less thought into how much he is into me. When it comes down to it, I don't see the point in stressing so much over what he might think or feel about me. The things I need to ponder are: Is he right for me? Does he add or take away from my life? Are my needs met? Are his needs difficult for me to want to meet? Will his goals impede mine or will we be able to share our goals equally? I found that many of my friends and even myself when I was less mature, would spin our wheels in new relationships. Pondering the pointless; does he like/love me, think I'm pretty/smart/special etc. Then by the time you figure out the answers to these thing (and only then) suddenly it dawns on you if he is what you needed or wanted in the first place. I don't find my guy friends doing this as often.
Author Star Gazer Posted February 21, 2008 Author Posted February 21, 2008 Dating like a man, to me, is putting more thought into whether I'm really into the guy I'm seeing and less thought into how much he is into me. When it comes down to it, I don't see the point in stressing so much over what he might think or feel about me. The things I need to ponder are: Is he right for me? Does he add or take away from my life? Are my needs met? Are his needs difficult for me to want to meet? Will his goals impede mine or will we be able to share our goals equally? I think you're on to something here. In another thread, Tan said something about how women are more concerned about whether a guy is into them, whereas men are more concerned about whether they're into a woman. Makes perfect sense. A woman's attitude should be, "Is he right for me? Do I like him? Does he meet my needs?" and NOT "OMG does he want to be with me? Does he loooove me?"
Audg1964 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 So many women create wishful fantasies in their minds and wait desperately for any evidence that their fantasy is true, men are more realistic. Ahmen!! I'm a realist. Date like a man means just f**k and move on. Personally, that's what I think it means, no attachments - just "hooking up." I would never reduce myself to that level. My standards of myself are just not there and I would never do that to myself. There's also a phrase, "MAN WHORE." I think that's what the phrase you referenced is referring to, quite honestly.
Lizzie60 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I would rather say: "Date like a b*tch, so you don't get played like a man!"
xpaperxcutx Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I would rather say: "Date like a b*tch, so you don't get played like a man!" Definitely rules to live by
sally4sara Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I think you're on to something here. In another thread, Tan said something about how women are more concerned about whether a guy is into them, whereas men are more concerned about whether they're into a woman. Makes perfect sense. A woman's attitude should be, "Is he right for me? Do I like him? Does he meet my needs?" and NOT "OMG does he want to be with me? Does he loooove me?" Yeah. Whats the point in worrying about if someone is going to stick around until you know you having them stick around is something you really want? Its not like I'm keeping stats for how many guys found me desirable. 50 guys could think all those things about me and still be the absolute worst choices for me as a partner. As far as the statement and the other ways to read into it, I can see how someone might take it as "screwing without emotional attachment", but I don't think that is a cut and dry masculine attitude. Even if it was, I don't think of it as an attitude to take just to make a point just to make yourself feel like you've leveled the playing field. At it's core, that attitude is a cold way to be. Do we really need more people putting more effort into being cold and detached? Why would someone strive to be that way? I mean really....how many times has anyone been dumped after dating someone who was cold and detached and said "Wow, I really admire that person and wish I could be more like them!" You might feel you should've protected your feelings more, but do you ever find yourself thinking their actions and attitude worth adopting?
Audg1964 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Yeah. Whats the point in worrying about if someone is going to stick around until you know you having them stick around is something you really want? Its not like I'm keeping stats for how many guys found me desirable. 50 guys could think all those things about me and still be the absolute worst choices for me as a partner. As far as the statement and the other ways to read into it, I can see how someone might take it as "screwing without emotional attachment", but I don't think that is a cut and dry masculine attitude. Even if it was, I don't think of it as an attitude to take just to make a point just to make yourself feel like you've leveled the playing field. At it's core, that attitude is a cold way to be. Do we really need more people putting more effort into being cold and detached? Why would someone strive to be that way? I mean really....how many times has anyone been dumped after dating someone who was cold and detached and said "Wow, I really admire that person and wish I could be more like them!" You might feel you should've protected your feelings more, but do you ever find yourself thinking their actions and attitude worth adopting? That's just a liberal attitude...that's not what a woman should have to reduce herself to. A woman should be courted...nothing less. If it's anyting less, than don't waste your time. I want to go back to the 50s!
sally4sara Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 (edited) That's just a liberal attitude...that's not what a woman should have to reduce herself to. A woman should be courted...nothing less. If it's anyting less, than don't waste your time. I want to go back to the 50s! Not sure if you're trying to insult or not. I am liberal and proudly so, so saying my attitude is liberal does not insult me. Suggesting I have reduced myself does. I do not feel reduced. My relationship is strong, I am at peace in my life and don't find myself wanting something that seems to elude me. Courting.....I think that is a relative statement. One person may need poems and jewelry to feel courted, while another might be wooed with a handmade sweater and new tiling in the bathroom. Whatever works for each and nothing less, but I don't know what that has to so with the 50s. Edited February 21, 2008 by sally4sara
Audg1964 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Not sure if you're trying to insult or not. I am liberal and proudly so, so saying my attitude is liberal does not insult me. Suggesting I have reduced myself does. I do not feel reduced. My relationship is strong, I am at peace in my life and don't find myself wanting something that seems to elude me. Courting.....I think that is a relative statement. One person may need poems and jewelry to feel courted, while another might be wooed with a handmade sweater and new tiling in the bathroom. Whatever works for each and nothing less, but I don't know what that has to so with the 50s. Definately not trying to insult. I just think that the old fashioned way of dating shoudl still be in place today. If it's not there for me, I move on... I am a Republican and proudly so. The difference between the two is that the dating, pregnancy and marriage has all gone out the window. If you're proud of that, than that's on you and it ruins it for the rest of us conservative women, because why would a guy want to be with someone with morals and values, when they could be with a liberal and just f**k and it's done.
sally4sara Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Definately not trying to insult. I just think that the old fashioned way of dating shoudl still be in place today. If it's not there for me, I move on... I am a Republican and proudly so. The difference between the two is that the dating, pregnancy and marriage has all gone out the window. If you're proud of that, than that's on you and it ruins it for the rest of us conservative women, because why would a guy want to be with someone with morals and values, when they could be with a liberal and just f**k and it's done. I did the dating, marriage, pregnancy way of dating, I didn't realize it was a republican move on my part. I don't know why you think a liberal must be against these things. Also how can liberals make things bad for conservative women? I think you are trying to suggest liberals are taking something from you but for the life of me I can't figure out what that something is. I'm starting to get confused.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 I don't think this topic has anything political about it But from my point of view, it's based on how a person would like to approach both dating/relationship. I mean I might approach a date as something casual, but within the course of that date, I might find myself attracted to that person. To actually put myself out there is a big risk of getting emotionally hurt, and to actually want to date a guy "like a man" would require myself to fully detach myself from the situation. Kinda like a rebound.
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