carrot10 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 What does "my guard is up" mean? Is it that he likes me a lot and is scared? Has anyone said that before? Thanks!
Pyro Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 Thats one way of putting it. He has probably been hurt in the past and its his way of protecting his feelings from being hurt again. I can understand why he would do that, but eventually he is going to have to put the guard down and jump (take a risk).
amaysngrace Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 People put up guards around their heart to keep them from getting hurt. It works only for a while. Then like Pyro said, you have to take those guards down or you won't be able to get to the deeper more meaningful relationship. The relationship can't grow if one person has a guard up. It will only stay at that point. But little by little the guard needs to come down and when it does the person who is letting their guard down does so gradually allowing the other person into their heart a little bit more.
EYECANDY000 Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 (edited) I always use that expression. Relating to myself when I say my guard is up I mean that I am very cautious about how much I will let that person into my life. I feel like someone has to prove to me that they want to be with me, and I wont let them be a part of my life fully until I feel that way. Until then my guard stays up! I guess its just another way of saying that you dont want your heart broken Edited February 21, 2008 by EYECANDY000
giro Posted February 21, 2008 Posted February 21, 2008 well... i normally "put my guard up" and what it means is that he doesn't actually have feelings for you but he is interested. it's easier to not get attached at all in the first place. there will be a radical change when he decides there's no point in protecting his feelings anymore, till then, id hate to say it, but he's a loose cannon; i dumped a girl after a month since i couldn't find a reason to let my feelings open up. most guys don't do this, it's the ones that get really attached and dependent that tend to so the best you can do is show him that you will be supportive towards him
Author carrot10 Posted February 21, 2008 Author Posted February 21, 2008 thanks for replying! E.C. what does the person have to do to prove to you that they are worth letting the guard down? I told him straight up that I want to be with him and really like him alot. We've been together 5 1/2 months. he told me that his guard was up the other night when I asked told how I felt. We have been exclusive the whole time we've been together. Now I feel like my guard is going up!! Yikes!
birdie Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 maybe he just felt uncomfortable to talk about feelings. I am the same as well, I am very reserved and clam up when I am asked to own up to feelings. that's not a permanent feeling though
D-Lish Posted February 22, 2008 Posted February 22, 2008 If you've been together for almost 6 months- he has feelings for you. I agree that saying one's guard is up isn't saying "I don't like you"... it's saying "I am scared to like you because I don't want to get hurt". The only thing you can do is remain cool and patient. When someone voices they have their guard up, the last thing you want to do is start putting any pressure on the relationship. By just remaining to be a cool, fun gf that doesn't try to nail down a comittment- you'll win him over gradually...and he will let his guard down. The secret is to allow him to come to his own conclusion that he wants to be exclusive and truly comitted.
Author carrot10 Posted February 22, 2008 Author Posted February 22, 2008 thanks for all of your replies. I've been playing it cool and hopefully things will work out! I really like this guy alot. Fingers crossed:)
Recommended Posts