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Damaged Relationship...


Riffola

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Me and my gf lived together for over 2 years. When I first met here I fell instantly in love with her, she is the most important thing that ever came into my life. She is now 20 and I am 25...we moved in together jsut before she turned 18. She suffers from depression adn I have enough emotional problems myself. Over time our personalities prevented us from communicating properly, we'd both get frustrated wtih each other, and I would get angry with her. Our relationship broke down even more recently when she started hanging out with on of her friends from work every night. She'd be out till 5am every night with her...i felt so neglected and alone. I confronted her about it several times, trying not to show that I was angry, but just tell her that I wished she'd spend more time with me. My talks never helped though and I eventually got so frustrated, hurt and upset that I kicked her out. This was the biggest mistake of my life. She now lives with her friend and is moving to a new city very soon. I have talked to her since then trying to work things out, but she tells me that she still loves me but needs to live on her own for awhile. This I understand as she is so young and hasn't had a chance to do that. She says she still loves me and we can be bf and gf still, but we have to work out our problems. I am currently going to see a therapist and she is too for her depression. I'm just scared that she will never come back to me. She's all I want in life. My goals now are to make her happy and see that I can make us both happy together. We made a promise to each other that we will when she's ready she will come back to me, I'm just hoping that day will come soon and that the promise will last. Right now I feel a huge void without her with me everyday, I can't sleep, I hardly eat, I pace constantly thinking about what I could have done to prevent this from happening. I would change so many things. I would show my love for her every second I could. Right now that is all I can do...show her my love and show her how much I have changed...be her friend and stick by her through all this...support her decision, and never let her go. Our problems in the past would take a novel to write them out, but I hope they can all be worked out and she will come back to me, because as I sit here and look at her picture everday, I can't help but cry. I miss her more than anything, she is the love of my life and nobody will ever be able to replace her.

 

I just had to say all of this to someone...i feel so alone right now.

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Everyone who has been in a relationship has been in the situation you are in right now, hon, you aren't alone. the thing is that you have to analyze your feelings to make sure that they don't take over your whole life. It's really hard to get used to being alone when you've been with this person for so long. It takes time, but eventually you do get used to your new, different kind of life.

 

In the end, this might be the healthiest move. A good, balanced relationship is about two independent people coming together out of free choice, not mutual obligation or history. Enjoy the time you're spending now alone learning more about yourself and how you are when you're by yourself.

 

good luck

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I agree with Sula. Actually this is wierd because the same situation is going on with my boyfriend and I. I can tell you right now that she does want to be with you, but she does not want to be totally dependent on you. I too suffer from depression and I started going out with people from work and spending less time with my boyfriend. He confronted me about it and I could feel he was hurting. But the truth is, I felt maybe I was being too dependent on him and needed to do some things without him. It is very hard to communicate with eachother because we have had our share of problems, and have yet to seek professional help, although I definitely intend to. I think what you are doing is absolutely the right thing to do because she needs to know that you will be there for her no matter what. I believe love conquers all. She will get better and so will your relationship. If your relationship is strong even through this hard time, it will all be worth it in the end.

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well i am 28 and i have been married for 4 years and I got married for the wrong reason the girl that I have been in allways been In lov with love with mackes me hart inside.it was my fault that we didn't get married and I still talk to her about every day love her so much it hurts. so should I tell her how I fell
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