I don't know what the problem is, but I think it might be me

[EyeAlone]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1.5 years and we've lived together for 6 months. I've never been in a serious relationship before and neither has he. Before we moved in together, we were in a semi long distance relationship, but I did spend a great deal of time with him for a few months before we moved together. We never had many disagreements before living together, but now it seems like he's overly critical of me. I think the problem is exacerbated more since I seem to take criticism perhaps too personally. When he says I did something wrong, incorrectly, or if I need to fix something, I begin to think that he's so annoyed with me that he hates me, and that he hates me so much that he's going to want to break up, etc. My mind turns into a tornado of negative thoughts and I get so frustrated and sad. I begin to mentally dwell on something that he probably got over a minute ago.

 

I don't know what to do but I'm terrified that I'm going to ruin the relationship permanently.

[elizabethjune]

I completely understand how you feel. I tend to do the same thing with my husband. I am overly sensitive and very insecure. I would suggest counseling. You've already recognized that this is an issue for you and that is a huge step! Insecurities can sometimes run so deep that you cannot talk yourself out of them. Professional help can go a long way in helping you grow as a person. Don't just do it for your relationship, do it for yourself. If counseling is not a possibility, try watching others interact. Once I noticed that not everybody reacts to things the same way I do, it helped me take a step back before I react to a harmless comment or question. Also, try to talk to him about the way you feel. Maybe if he understands your internal struggle he will try to help you by thinking twice before he says certain things or at least, understand your behavior.