Gia77 Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 Ok, my bf and I have been together for 3 and a half years. So far we barely talked about our future together and have avoided the subject for some time.. We disagree about a few things and one of which is when we want to have children. I'll admit I am not anxious to be a mother and I would rather wait, get settled in my career, have fun and do motherhood later on in life (mid 30s). He would rather start a family as soon as he gets married. We don't talk about this much anymore.. I just think that we should focus on getting married first before we worry about the other stuff. And the longer we push that off, the longer we push off the family stuff. At first it seemed like he was the one who had the biological clock but now it seems like he just gave up on everything altogether. I'm scared to ask him where he thinks we are going b/c then he will say "ok, well if I marry you, are you ready to get pregnant soon after that?" And then I will flip out. Is it wrong for me to think it's stupid to get married just to have kids?? Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 I agree with you that there is more to marriage than having kids. However I disagree with your thinking it is not very important to agree on these things before marriage. If you do not feel comfortable to discuss these significant issues, then I don't think you are ready for marriage with this man. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted February 22, 2008 Share Posted February 22, 2008 Ok, my bf and I have been together for 3 and a half years. So far we barely talked about our future together and have avoided the subject for some time.. We disagree about a few things and one of which is when we want to have children. I'll admit I am not anxious to be a mother and I would rather wait, get settled in my career, have fun and do motherhood later on in life (mid 30s). He would rather start a family as soon as he gets married. We don't talk about this much anymore.. I just think that we should focus on getting married first before we worry about the other stuff. And the longer we push that off, the longer we push off the family stuff. At first it seemed like he was the one who had the biological clock but now it seems like he just gave up on everything altogether. I'm scared to ask him where he thinks we are going b/c then he will say "ok, well if I marry you, are you ready to get pregnant soon after that?" And then I will flip out. Is it wrong for me to think it's stupid to get married just to have kids?? Wow.. he's definitely not the one.. If you can't agree on such a fundamental issue as children.. then there is no hope.. sorry.. I say leave him and find someone who will be compatible with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Kalamazoo Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 You will be ready for marriage when you feel 100% comfortable about talking to him about it and don't need to ask how to go about it. I agree with the others, huge issues such as children MUST be discussed before you get married because they are marriage deal breakers if you don't agree. It sounds like you and your boyfriend need to have a nice long talk about your future and come to some sort of understanding. Link to post Share on other sites
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