stampdaddy Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 I told ya! My life with her hangs in the balance of a phone bill... Reminds me of the movie "A Few Good Men" quote: Col. Jessep: Absolutely. My answer is I don't have the first damn clue. Maybe he was an early riser and liked to pack in the morning. And maybe he didn't have any friends. I'm an educated man, but I'm afraid I can't speak intelligently about the travel habits of William Santiago. What I do know is that he was set to leave the base at 0600. Now, are these the questions I was really called here to answer? Phone calls and foot lockers? Please tell me that you have something more, Lieutenant. These two Marines are on trial for their lives. Please tell me their lawyer hasn't pinned their hopes to a phone bill. Anyway, ironically enough, I went to lunch with her and had the talk of the letter that I had mentioned in another post (My Pillow), saying I had to go on without her, that this relationship with her was not good for me any more.. Tears everywhere.. Well, we get in the car, and BAM, her old cell phone that she had that now has a NEW # starts ringing, and ringing and ringing.. She says, "huh, somebody calling you???", and I said, YES, YOUR HUSBAND..... SO, she is home, probably saying, "I am an educated woman, but I'm afraid I can't speak intelligently about the phone habits of Stampdaddy. What I do know is that I have not talked to him. Now, are these the questions that I was really called here to answer? Phone calls and lunch dates? Please tell me you have something more, Husband..... This Sucks Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Eyed Brain Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 So, you spoke to her husband? Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 So, you spoke to her husband? not today, but I have, several times... and I don't know if I should next time he calls Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Eyed Brain Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 What do you talk about? What does he say and what is the tone in his voice? Anger, hurt, interest? Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 We have been together almost 4 years.. got found out in July of last year. He started to call MY cell phone and finally I answered. We spoke about the "generalities" of my relationship with MW.. He kept calling and asking questions which led me to telling him the TRUTH, YES, me and your wife have been having an affair for over 3 years. She had a cell phone of mine (with a different number) and was "supposed" to give it back, but didnt. 4 months later, H finds it again, now we are into November.. In December, exactly 1 week before Christmas and 2 days before his Bday, he finds us at lunch, a wine lunch at a romantic place and tells her he wants a Divorce.. Was on teh way to tell the kids, BUT, his mom (we are all in our early 40's) talks him out of it (Thank GOD).. But now, the last 2 months, he has known somethiong isnt right, and NO, it hasnt been.. And today, the phone bill came with the NEW number, and it is all staring over again, with the calls, the lying, the BS.. THIS ISNT RIGHT AMYMORE AND NEVER WAS Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 What do you talk about? What does he say and what is the tone in his voice? Anger, hurt, interest? H is hurt, in denial, the last time we spoke, in November, he was talking to me like "I" was a stalker.. And I said, "whoa, whait a minute here, your wife calls me, her car pulls up im my driveway... etc..." It floored him, BUT, he still wants to believe her... NOW, I am staring to see HER for what she is: A FUC***ing Liar" She could have done this differently, BUT she didnt and SO COULD I... Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 I'm so confused. So she has a phone that you gave her, and she has been making phone calls on it to someone else? Four years??? Oh lord. I think you have told me, and so I will tell you too...move on, run as fast as you can. Husband knows. You have issues with the pillow--move on. I know it's very hard to--believe me, I so know, but in the meantime, try to find someone else to occupy your mind. I know that sounds young and lame, but that always seems to work for me. If You can't find another woman of interest, then how about a hobby? I know when I'm at home busy with house chores, my mind is occupied for hours and I wasn't being all depressed about MM--or any guy that I was having broken heart issues with. And you are much older than me, so you have more experience with dating and all. I think you can move on, really, I do think you can. Do you think you can? Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 I'm so confused. So she has a phone that you gave her, and she has been making phone calls on it to someone else? Four years??? Oh lord. I think you have told me, and so I will tell you too...move on, run as fast as you can. Husband knows. You have issues with the pillow--move on. I know it's very hard to--believe me, I so know, but in the meantime, try to find someone else to occupy your mind. I know that sounds young and lame, but that always seems to work for me. If You can't find another woman of interest, then how about a hobby? I know when I'm at home busy with house chores, my mind is occupied for hours and I wasn't being all depressed about MM--or any guy that I was having broken heart issues with. And you are much older than me, so you have more experience with dating and all. I think you can move on, really, I do think you can. Do you think you can? I know I can.. I am a good man.. Great heart and spirit, and I can cook:).. It's not that... (OH, the cell phone thing was she had a cell phone of mine for 3 years, that now I have, with a new #, that she wanted me to call her on now, so BAM) I'll be OK, so I think.. If she throws me under the bus, which I expect, the F HER Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 Oh and teh comment "MUCH older........"??? j/k Link to post Share on other sites
Leia Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 So what does H want to do now? The woman does not want to divorce? Doesn't love you enough or is she too comfortable with the whole situation? Having 2 men in her life.... Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Oh and teh comment "MUCH older........"??? j/k haha well, I am "young and naive," so some think Well at least you know you are a good man and have good qualities. That's a step in the right direction And you can cook--that's a total deal maker for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 So what does H want to do now? The woman does not want to divorce? Doesn't love you enough or is she too comfortable with the whole situation? Having 2 men in her life.... This just happened today, and I was already at a point of dismantling, because of her, and NOW, I feel like she is throwing me under the bus for the last time.... When all I did ws LOVE HER Link to post Share on other sites
Leia Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 This just happened today, and I was already at a point of dismantling, because of her, and NOW, I feel like she is throwing me under the bus for the last time.... When all I did ws LOVE HER You should throw her under the bus.... I know you love her but come on now, if she loved you as much as she claimed, she would have done something to be with you. Tell her H, it's over and that you don't want her anymore coz she's a cheating liar. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Once again, she doesn't want to be the bad guy. When she's with you, her H is the bad one, when she's at home with her H, you are the bad one. Time will tell what happens next. Shield your heart buddy - Keep busy and focus on your daughter, friends and other hobbies for afews. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Hang in there Stamp. My heart goes out to you. Your feelings for OW remind me of my own for my MM. I've never given him an ultimatum, but I could guess that we both would struggle the way you two are now. I so wish for you pain to disappear. I cannot fathom, just from reading your heart-felt posts, that she can't see your love is stronger than hers with her H. And now you're coming up on 4 years. You really have to ask yourself how much longer you can take it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Red Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 You wrote this 10 weeks ago. Have any of these things been done? I AM LOOKING for signs of progress. Examples will be her meeting with Counselor alone, and telling TRUTH's She hasnt done that yet.. She will tell me what is talked about, she always does, even if it hurts, and I DO believe her... Actions, like, looking for a job, getting a job, seeing an attorney OR him seeing an attorney OR the other way.. THEM TRYING.. That'll do it for me, as I will NOT GO THROUGH THAT PAIN!!!! NO WAY I'm not asking for the answer. I'm hoping you will ask yourself this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 You wrote this 10 weeks ago. Have any of these things been done? I'm not asking for the answer. I'm hoping you will ask yourself this. The only thing that she has done is see an IC... But I can guarantee you that I am hearing one side of things that give me hope AND so is H..... I wouldnt have said that 10 weeks ago.... Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Why are you still dealing with this crap, I hought you was done with her! You cannot remain friends with your affair partner. IT stagnates your growth and prevent you from moving on. Stamp are you really that weak to be drawn back to a scumbag chick like her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 Why are you still dealing with this crap, I hought you was done with her! You cannot remain friends with your affair partner. IT stagnates your growth and prevent you from moving on. Stamp are you really that weak to be drawn back to a scumbag chick like her? I won't "remain friends" with her.. This has been "My Divorce" so to speak, and I haven't been able to just flip a switch.. But the "light" has gone out.... I will be OK Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 H is still calling trying to figure out who's number is on the phone bill 50 times, from MY town, from MY cell carrier.. I guess she STILL hasnt come clean OR he hasnt presented to her yet that he is on to her... go figure Link to post Share on other sites
InvisibleGirl Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Why would it be such a mystery to figure out who the number belonged to? Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 Why would it be such a mystery to figure out who the number belonged to? shouldnt be.. Denial will help. It is a cell phone number, and I've Googled it and nothing comes up.. It's relatively new, so I don't know what kind of research can be done.. BUT JUST CHECK YOUR GUT, and you know it's mine Link to post Share on other sites
InvisibleGirl Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 If its ringing then, why not answer? Don't protect someone that isnt protecting you Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 If its ringing then, why not answer? Don't protect someone that isnt protecting you Not my style.. If she can't step up to the plate this time, then we are doomed.. He WILL figure this out... I really don't think he has confronted her about it yet.. Why wouldnt he just call from HER phone, or have her call the number in front of him? I'd pick it up then, thinking it was HER calling.. BUT, with this said, this is NOT how I want this to play out, I WANT HER TO TELL THE DAMN TRUTH, FOR ONCE!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 for $15 , he can do a reverse search, and it WILL give you the name of the person with theat number. I would pick pick up!!, you csan always say it was an accident!! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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