Snoopzta Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 I saw this website on a search engine, so I thought maybe I could get a little help here. There's a girl that I used to go out with. We broke up exactly 1 year, 7 months, 7 days, 10 hours, and 13 minutes ago. As you probally could tell just by the fact that I remember the exact time we broke up, I miss her. She's all I could think about ever since that day. And that's alot of days to think about someone. <_< As hard as I try to get over her, I just can't do it. Then I just start listening to sad songs, or just songs that remind me of her. Like "When Your Mad" by Ne-Yo, because I rememebr us at a pool one time and she was listening to that song on my CD Player while dancing for me. Whenever I here songs like that, I just get even more depressed, but I can't stop listening to them. It feels like as much as it hurts, all I want to do is think about her. At first I started cutting myself over her, but then I started seeing a counceler, who didn't do anything. But he gave me anti-depressing pills that I still take, although I don't go to the counciler anymore. Those anti-depressants don't help either though. I just take them still because they make me tired. I quit cutting, but only by forcing myself to. I still have cravings to do it every time I think about her though, and it's really hard to resist. I just don't know what to do anymore. I try to think to myself that I'll get over her one day, but the more I think about that I realize how long it's been since we broke up. And I really don't know if being depressed over her this long is just gonna fade away. The worst thing about it is I was never depressed before her. I seperated with many girls before and was a little sad for a few days, but nowhere near this bad. Can anyone help? Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 It can take a long time to get over someone if you really loved them. It took me well over a year to get over someone about 5 years ago. Sorry to hear about the cutting, but well done for stopping yourself, that took some willpower, try to stay strong and resist the temptation to do it again. Some anti-depressants DO make you tired, when I was on them I just wanted to go to bed early all the time, but sleep can help heal you and restore your brain chemistry. Maybe you should talk to your doctor about changing them? What do you do with yourself? Are you at school/ working? do you have any hobbies? Exercise is very good for depression- have you thought about joining a sports team or a gym or something like that? It will get you out of the house, keep you active, and help you to meet new people. If exercise isn't your thing, think of things that are, and maybe look for a group or classes in your area- a new challenge and something to focus on will help divert your attention away from thinking about her all the time. One day you will wake up and realise that you haven't thought about her as much as you used to, and you will know you are recovering- don't give up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snoopzta Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 Well I try not to think about her alot by doing stuff like working out, hanging out with friends, playing video games. I've tried many times as well to get different girls, but whenever I'm with another girl I just think about her. As for changing my medicine, I have changed it a few times. A couple of the ones I took didn't make me tired, but they pretty much didn't do anything else. I'm only still taking these current ones because I have trouble sleeping all the time, and they knock me out. Although lately I've been getting so used to them that they haven't been working to well with that. I try many things to stop thinking about her, including drinking and weed. They manage to get my mind off of her until I'm sober again, which unfortunately isn't much later. Link to post Share on other sites
confused2007 Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Well I try not to think about her alot by doing stuff like working out, hanging out with friends, playing video games. I've tried many times as well to get different girls, but whenever I'm with another girl I just think about her. As for changing my medicine, I have changed it a few times. A couple of the ones I took didn't make me tired, but they pretty much didn't do anything else. I'm only still taking these current ones because I have trouble sleeping all the time, and they knock me out. Although lately I've been getting so used to them that they haven't been working to well with that. I try many things to stop thinking about her, including drinking and weed. They manage to get my mind off of her until I'm sober again, which unfortunately isn't much later. First off, and I'm sure you already know, drinking, smoking weed and antidepressants are obviously not the solution. Everyone, at some point in their lives, must learn to cope with reality. When you alter your conscious, with drugs or alcohol, your emotions are suppressed and when they're awoken again (Sober), the emotional effect is usually exponential. I'm not sure what the underlying cause of your feelings are, but the problem is you're not able to let go. Why? What made this relationship different than the others? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snoopzta Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 Well we were going out for about 6 years. Link to post Share on other sites
confused2007 Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Hey Snoopzta, I've been there bro. Believe me. And know that I'm here to offer you words of guidance. What specific things would you say made the relatioship special? Special in the sense that you believe you couldn't find it in others? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snoopzta Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 I don't know really. I just can't picture being with anyone but her now. Link to post Share on other sites
confused2007 Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 So, from what I'm gathering, is it safe to say that you miss her because of the way she made you feel? Was this your first love? How old are you? Why aren't you'll still together? Do you'll still communicate? Link to post Share on other sites
MexicanBillBacker Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Smoking helps me forget Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snoopzta Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 So, from what I'm gathering, is it safe to say that you miss her because of the way she made you feel? Was this your first love? How old are you? Why aren't you'll still together? Do you'll still communicate? She wasn't my first love, and we communicate sometimes. I'm 19 now. We started going out when I was 12, and broke up when I was 18. As for why we aren't still together, There was a bunch of **** going on, and we had a huge fight. Link to post Share on other sites
confused2007 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 She wasn't my first love, and we communicate sometimes. I'm 19 now. We started going out when I was 12, and broke up when I was 18. As for why we aren't still together, There was a bunch of **** going on, and we had a huge fight. Well, the best way to get over anyone is the No Contact rule. The less you communicate with someone, the easier it becomes to forget them. Probably not a new concept to you but it's very effective. If there is no hope for reconciliation, you should cut off all/any forms of communication with her. It'll obviously be painful in the beginning but will be for your own good in the end. I will go as far as to promise you that you will love again. May be hard to believe now, but it will happen. If you don't want to get over her, and it sounds like you don't, what is preventing you'll from being a couple again? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snoopzta Posted February 27, 2008 Author Share Posted February 27, 2008 Well the last time I saw her was about 5 months ago. As for the reason we're not going out..Well, as I just mentioned I haven;t even saw her in 5 months, and she was going out with someone then. Dunno if she still is, but she probally is. Link to post Share on other sites
confused2007 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Well the last time I saw her was about 5 months ago. As for the reason we're not going out..Well, as I just mentioned I haven;t even saw her in 5 months, and she was going out with someone then. Dunno if she still is, but she probally is. So was that the last time you "communicated" with her? It's hard for me to offer you an opinion unless I understand the details of the breakup. Even if the relationship is still salvageable I think your best option is to move on. Surround yourself with positive people/things and do activities that make you happy and do NOT communicate with her in anyway. Go on dates and meet new people. Eventually you'll wake up one day and won't even understand why you loved her so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Vampirlequin Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 I understand completely how you feel man. I broke up with my girl almost 2 years ago, and it wasn't until recently that it stopped hurting so much, but even then, I still think about her whenever anything to do with love is mentioned. She's my first thought when I think of when I was truly happy. My last relationship was hard because in my mind I compared the girl to my ex and anytime she didn't live up to my expectations I got mad at her. When my ex and I first broke up she tried the, "just be friends" thing, and of course I played along, but that fell through. I was just too attached. I ended up drinking a lot, and being a person I don't consider myself to be. What's worse is, I had her myspace account password, and would obsess over what she was doing without me. I ended up moving from the area into town, stopped hanging out at all the old places, got new friends and built a new life away from anything that reminded me of her. I'm not saying that's what you should do, but definitely try and stay away from things that remind you of her. Don't self medicate. Alcohol and weed, while fun, if used for a reason other than just personal enjoyment, can lead down a bad road and leave you worse off than you already are. You need to get your self respect back, don't worry about other girls, just try and get your head on strait. Like was stated before, it will come with time, just keep yourself busy. Take some college courses if you're not already. Try not to rely on the anti-depressants. find a counselor that works for you, if you don't like the first one, or they don't seem to be helping, find another. Counseling is a very personal thing, you need to find someone that works for you, counselors aren't all the same. I had a talk with my dad about it at one point, just asking him when it goes away. When she's not such a strong presence in my mind. He told me about a girl he almost married before my mother, but it didn't work out. He almost drank and drugged himself to death until my mother pretty much saved him. But it's been almost 28 years now, and he says the hurt is completely gone, but the memory is still there. You will always love the people you love if it's true, but you will eventually get to the point where you're thankful for having loved, rather than hurt for having lost. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Snoopzta Posted February 28, 2008 Author Share Posted February 28, 2008 Well as I said before, I've had many councilers. None of them work for me. I just try to talk to them, and end up leaving the same as I was when I got there. And I don't really have enougn money to waste on **** like that. As for staying away from things that remind me of. That's pretty much impossible. Everything reminds me of her. Just seeing a chair reminds me of her, because I know she sits. o.0 Link to post Share on other sites
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