9Lives Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Hey friends...I must call you all friends because we are truly here for each other during a extremely difficult time in our lives in the past or in the present. Thank you for being my support...i could not have done it with out you all.....I would not be able to make it!!!! YOU ARE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. I have been going 2 weeks. I have not broken down. I did cry a little today but I am still so freaking angry that it keeps me so stubborn. I think about him every day. I wonder what he is thinking. I wonder if he is seriously going to leave. I wonder does he realize he lost his so called tru love. We were very close and this cold turkey nc was not something we saw coming. It just happen. we share alot and we did alot together with is friends, some with the kids, and alot of other nice things. I wasnt complete in the closet. But I dont give a f/ck!!!!! He was not being honest!!! I am soooooooo piss the hell off. I still get so damm mad about it. He is a loser!!!!! My friendship, my phone, my smiling face, my sweet puss, my heart, my love, my email, my life is off limits to him. All he had to do was keep everything real.
stampdaddy Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 He IS keeping it real.. He's a liar... like my MW is too... And that is what will hurt the worst, your image of him changing right before your very heart
Author 9Lives Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 He IS keeping it real.. He's a liar... like my MW is too... And that is what will hurt the worst, your image of him changing right before your very heart I guess so. the extreme he went to...to keep me on board. He said some bull like he is livin a double life. I was like what the hell you talking about. You was suppose to be gettin out and that is why you over here all the time. SUPRISE...SURPRISE...MM is doing what they do...caking I trusted him
stampdaddy Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I guess so. the extreme he went to...to keep me on board. He said some bull like he is livin a double life. I was like what the hell you talking about. You was suppose to be gettin out and that is why you over here all the time. SUPRISE...SURPRISE...MM is doing what they do...caking I trusted him I'm sorry for you.. I'm sorry for me.. We both TRUSTED LOVE.... And we both are getting f***ed over... I can't believe it either. I put ALL of my eggs in her basket and she is home right this second, LYING.. In fact, in typing this to you, her H is calling me on the phone......
Author 9Lives Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 I'm sorry for you.. I'm sorry for me.. We both TRUSTED LOVE.... And we both are getting f***ed over... I can't believe it either. I put ALL of my eggs in her basket and she is home right this second, LYING.. In fact, in typing this to you, her H is calling me on the phone...... Wow!!! I got a email from his other half. I had to block her because I was ready to tear her a new a/ss hole and it is not her fault. What are you going to do??? this is tempting
InvisibleGirl Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 My MM used the exact same phrase with me, a "double life" and how hard it is and how its probably harder for him than it is for me on my side of things. I love how they say how hard it is for them yet its not hard enough that they end things and go back to having their one miserable life they arent happy in....
bentnotbroken Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I find it interesting that you find yourself angry at the spouses in this mess. You say you all got f*c*ed over, but wasn't it by choice that you got involved with someone married? Did the spouse have a say so in what you and the MP decided to do behind their back? I think they have also been f*c*ed over, by more than one person. This isn't an attack on either of you personally, I just find the situation in general interesting that the BS seems to be this hated individual, who most OP only know through the images and words of a lying cheat.
InvisibleGirl Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 As much as I love my MM I can't help but think of what a coward he is sometimes. Instead of fixing things at home or deciding it wasnt working and give up he decides to befriend another woman and fill in the gaps of what is missing from his life. Be careful what you wish for.
stampdaddy Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I'm not angry at the H... I feel sorry for him that his wife doesnt have the balls to tell the truth, but will continue to see me. We h=got "found out" over 8 months ago, and again, and again and again... H even saw us together after a nice wine luncg the week before Christmas... NOW this new phone #.. AND SHE LIES AND LIES AND LIES, and I am a piece of SH*T for allowing this to continue.. I AM A BIG STINKIN' PIECE OF SH*T
SimpleyMe Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 You OW/OM are making it so easy for these CS to stay in the M. What they are lacking at home you give it to them,which is why you make it easy for them to stay with the SO. Sorry to say this but if when you got involved with MM/MW you knew what you signed up for. How could you possibly believe that you deserve trust and honesty from the MM/MW if they are not even giving truth and honesty to the SO. The only person you should be angry with is yourself,for actually falling for that crap,so if you want to tear someone a new a@@hole you should start with yourself.
stampdaddy Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 You OW/OM are making it so easy for these CS to stay in the M. What they are lacking at home you give it to them,which is why you make it easy for them to stay with the SO. Sorry to say this but if when you got involved with MM/MW you knew what you signed up for. How could you possibly believe that you deserve trust and honesty from the MM/MW if they are not even giving truth and honesty to the SO. The only person you should be angry with is yourself,for actually falling for that crap,so if you want to tear someone a new a@@hole you should start with yourself. I will speak for ME only.. I did not know what I was getting into, I DID trust her, I DID believe that we were heading for WE.. I NEVER would have done this had I known what I know today.. I NEVER wanted an "affair"... and I AM tearing myself up pretty bad right now, but trying to remain healthy.. thanks for your support though
SimpleyMe Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Sorry stampdaddy i don't know your story. I do find it hard to understand why anyone would believe anything a MM/MW would say,when they are cheating they all give the same bullcrap lies. I don't think anyone deserves to be lied to if someone says i love you i think they should mean it. Playing with someones emotions is just wrong,but getting involved with a MP is wrong also.
stampdaddy Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Sorry stampdaddy i don't know your story. I do find it hard to understand why anyone would believe anything a MM/MW would say,when they are cheating they all give the same bullcrap lies. I don't think anyone deserves to be lied to if someone says i love you i think they should mean it. Playing with someones emotions is just wrong,but getting involved with a MP is wrong also. I agree I agree I agree.. NOW I DO.. I believed in LOVE, and I believed in HER. Now I dont know what to believe
SimpleyMe Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 This is something i have always told myself if a man is M and trying to make time with you believe nothing that comes out of his mouth I am married but have been approached by so many MM before i was M and even now I think it's terrible and i don't find it flattering one bit,i have a friend that says "if it's not going to be with me it's going to be with someone else so just enjoy them" I say "well let it be someone else they cheat with because it is'nt going to be with me" Im not saying only MP lie and cheat,single people do it also. I understand that you are hurt,you wanted the things she was telling you to be true,i understand you may have trust issue's now. My advice to you is just take this as a life lesson you know that saying "live and learn".
LakesideDream Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 This must be a morning for lonliness and anger. It's difficult to read everyone's pain. Honestly, I try to keep mine below the surface. All most all of us here made the decision to begin a relationship with a MM/MW. Nobody forced us to do it. Most of us have had people and friends advise us against it. We are all certainly responsible for where we are in life. We chose this life. We chose to take the risks necessary to have the person, and the relationship that we are/were so focused on having. We chose a very difficult path. It's up to us to see it through, or to end it as we see fit. Blaming the OW/OM's spouse is not reasonable. They were not a part of our decision. Personally, I will not "hate" if it doesen't happen for me.
SimpleyMe Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I totally agree with you lakesidedream. I would not want the drama and heartache that come with that path therefor that is one route i will not take. But alot of poeple have no problem going down that path,i never understood whats so appealing about having a relationship in secretcy,sharing the person,not being able to spend holidays with them. you know all the simple things that come with being M,why settle for a portion of the person?
LakesideDream Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 I totally agree with you lakesidedream. I would not want the drama and heartache that come with that path therefor that is one route i will not take. But alot of poeple have no problem going down that path,i never understood whats so appealing about having a relationship in secretcy,sharing the person,not being able to spend holidays with them. you know all the simple things that come with being M,why settle for a portion of the person? I'm no virgin here, and not "holier than thou". I am in the middle of a major interstate move to be closer to the MW I am in pursuit of. I understand ALL the potential consequences of my actions. Succeed or fail I will take responsibility for my action in this quest, as I have throughout my life for all the decisions I have made and acted on. Casting blame on others, any others is not realistic. The matters of the heart are never easy, even between two single people. They are much more difficult when third, and fourth persons or more (children?) become involved. Children is where I draw the line, although at 57 I am past children being part of any equasion I am going to participate in.
SimpleyMe Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Well lakesidedream it really seems like you have thought about your choices.you seem like your laying everything out kind of like this is me this is what i want this is what i am ready for,and whatever consequences come with it i'm ready to deal and accept it. I'm not familiar with your situation,but it really seems like you are in love. I sometimes forget about the feelings of the OM/OW.
stampdaddy Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 Well lakesidedream it really seems like you have thought about your choices.you seem like your laying everything out kind of like this is me this is what i want this is what i am ready for,and whatever consequences come with it i'm ready to deal and accept it. I'm not familiar with your situation,but it really seems like you are in love. I sometimes forget about the feelings of the OM/OW. Thank yo ufor admitting that.. Again, speaking ONLY for me, I did give myself, my heart, my love and my soul to the "HOPE" of 'US"... now, I am left scrambling to get some of it back.... This WILL effect me forever...
Author 9Lives Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 I find it interesting that you find yourself angry at the spouses in this mess. You say you all got f*c*ed over, but wasn't it by choice that you got involved with someone married? Did the spouse have a say so in what you and the MP decided to do behind their back? I think they have also been f*c*ed over, by more than one person. This isn't an attack on either of you personally, I just find the situation in general interesting that the BS seems to be this hated individual, who most OP only know through the images and words of a lying cheat. Yeah you are right....that is why i blocked her email because I did not want to attach her...it wasnt her fault
Author 9Lives Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 My MM used the exact same phrase with me, a "double life" and how hard it is and how its probably harder for him than it is for me on my side of things. I love how they say how hard it is for them yet its not hard enough that they end things and go back to having their one miserable life they arent happy in.... yeah that was a wierd statement to me...I said you dont have to have a double life dude. What is so funny is today he text saying hello, how are you...I DELETED IT!!!
Author 9Lives Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 As much as I love my MM I can't help but think of what a coward he is sometimes. Instead of fixing things at home or deciding it wasnt working and give up he decides to befriend another woman and fill in the gaps of what is missing from his life. Be careful what you wish for. oh my gosh Invisible ....I feel the same way ...I told him that. The last text he got from me is "I hate you, hate you, hate you ...you aint no man, you are a coward" That was the last thing I said to him. He piss me off so bad. Make a dam decision. Im still mad
Author 9Lives Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 You OW/OM are making it so easy for these CS to stay in the M. What they are lacking at home you give it to them,which is why you make it easy for them to stay with the SO. Sorry to say this but if when you got involved with MM/MW you knew what you signed up for. How could you possibly believe that you deserve trust and honesty from the MM/MW if they are not even giving truth and honesty to the SO. The only person you should be angry with is yourself,for actually falling for that crap,so if you want to tear someone a new a@@hole you should start with yourself. Exactly what stampdaddy said....I really thought he was working on that. I did not want to mess up their m....I thought is was over and he was working his way out. When I figured out was really really really going on...I cut him off. It took awhile cause he is so involved in my life but I know now
Author 9Lives Posted February 23, 2008 Author Posted February 23, 2008 Sorry stampdaddy i don't know your story. I do find it hard to understand why anyone would believe anything a MM/MW would say,when they are cheating they all give the same bullcrap lies. I don't think anyone deserves to be lied to if someone says i love you i think they should mean it. Playing with someones emotions is just wrong,but getting involved with a MP is wrong also. That is why I am angry as hell. Tell the truth. I would have walked away with the pain and all but he never made the truth known that he changed his mind.
InvisibleGirl Posted February 23, 2008 Posted February 23, 2008 You OW/OM are making it so easy for these CS to stay in the M. What they are lacking at home you give it to them,which is why you make it easy for them to stay with the SO. Sorry to say this but if when you got involved with MM/MW you knew what you signed up for. How could you possibly believe that you deserve trust and honesty from the MM/MW if they are not even giving truth and honesty to the SO. The only person you should be angry with is yourself,for actually falling for that crap,so if you want to tear someone a new a@@hole you should start with yourself. I am upset with myself for loving someone that wanted me to love them and never considered what they would do if it actually happened.
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