chaoticK79 Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Hello, I am new here. I made the decision 6 mo. ago to leave my husband. We were married 5 yrs and have a 4 year old son. He is 19 years older than me. I left him basically because I was very unhappy. He was verbally and emotionally abusive and refused to go to counselling or anything like that. After 5 years I finally came to the realization that things would never change and unless I wanted to spend the rest of my life walking on eggshells and being treated like crap I needed to get out. He has done nothing but jerk me around since I left, refuses to make a house payment so now we are looking at foreclosure and he has been a jerking me around about child support and the parenting plan. I was finally able to afford to hire an attorney last week so hopefully things will start happening and I can get on with my life. I definately want a divorce, never been so sure about anything before in my life. I can't help but still have feelings for my soon to be ex-husband. Despite how nasty he has been, I still find myself thinking about him, listening to sad love songs and thinking of him, missing him, etc. I have even called him a few times just to say hi and chat. We still talk quite a bit because we have a son together. Sometimes he is decent and we have nice civil conversations, other times it gets very ugly. When I dropped my son off with him last night we hugged and kissed. Bad, bad, bad I know! I know there is no way that I could ever go back to him. I would be a fool because I know things would never be any different. It is just frustrating and confusing to have these feelings about him. I just want to be over it and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Don't rush those feelings away. This man was your husband and you love(d) him enough to marry him and have a child with him. Grieve your loss, it's okay. And, it's okay to miss him and what you two had (when it was good), it's just that the bad outweighed the good, enough for you get out. This isn't about loving him or not loving him, this is about YOUR mental health and the wellbeing of your child. I hope that you two can come to some sort of agreement and stay on OK terms for the sake of your child. Just no more kissing...All that does is lead him on and confuse you more. You may always have feelings for him - Just accept that it is over and that means no more intimacy. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Don't rush those feelings away. This man was your husband and you love(d) him enough to marry him and have a child with him. Grieve your loss, it's okay. And, it's okay to miss him and what you two had (when it was good), it's just that the bad outweighed the good, enough for you get out. This isn't about loving him or not loving him, this is about YOUR mental health and the wellbeing of your child. I hope that you two can come to some sort of agreement and stay on OK terms for the sake of your child. Just no more kissing...All that does is lead him on and confuse you more. You may always have feelings for him - Just accept that it is over and that means no more intimacy. What she said! Link to post Share on other sites
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