Miggggel Posted July 2, 2003 Share Posted July 2, 2003 Hi everyone, I'm hoping that someone out there can offer me some really good advise. I've was involved in an emotional affair for the last 10 months. About a month ago my fiancée (Gf of 3.5 yrs) discovered what I was doing and I had to come clean with everything. The affair began about a month (end of July) after my ex left the state for business purpose. I was going to finish up my contract and meet up with her, because her contract was for a 1 yr. At first like all other emotional affairs, we began just chatting on the computer. Well once and a while turned into everyday. The other woman never new that I was engaged or was dating someone. I told her that I had to move to the NE for biz purpose. When I moved back with my fiancée things were going very well again. The stress of the Wedding was not evident, and then things began to get worst. We would begin to argue about the wedding plans and I was to the point that I didn’t even want to speak to her anyone because eve time we spoke it was about the wedding. Then one September night I was online and the other girl IM, asking me how everything was going? And part of me wanted to tell her that I lied to her, but then I felt good just being able to talk to someone and not turning it into an argument. Well January comes around and I need to take a biz trip, I'll be 15 mins away from the other girl. I was like hey lets meet (we haven't met til then) We had a blast together, the feeling that I was having were the same feeling my fianceé and I had during the pre-engagement phase. Well lets just say that I managed to take 2 "biz trips" to see her. While my fiancée stressed about the wedding by herself, and I went down south to have my fun. During my trips down there, the other girl and I never had sex, because to me I just wanted to feel loved again. Well once my fiancée found out we went to the priest because this occurred 2.5 weeks before the wedding, and told him what has happened. He "advised" (just as he advised us not to make love until the wedding which was 1.5 yrs after we saw him) us to separate for that we can work through this on our own. I've read many articles on this and I noticed that most people tell the couple to try to work things as a couple. Well my fiancée as moved to her dads house, in another state, about an 8 hr drive. Has changed her number, but I managed to get it with some good PI work. I've started going to counseling about this because I come from a family that never really had structure and my dad and step dad where unfaithful to their wives. I need to know what I can do to get my fiancée back. I've cut all ties with the other woman, my fiancée was present for the phone call. I love my fiancée very much, and want her back in my life, she is truly the love of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Miggggel Posted July 8, 2003 Author Share Posted July 8, 2003 *Update* I'm to the point that all I think about is suicide. Surfing the web, doing the research, writing the letters. All I think about is my ex fiancé and how ashamed I'm feeling. All I want is to have my best friend back. I feel like a zombie nowadays, just going through the motions of life. Before I met her I considered killing myself, but meeting her was a fresh of breath air in my life. No I feel like I'm sufficating again. Don’t know what to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Posted July 8, 2003 Board of Directors Share Posted July 8, 2003 Hello Miggggel, Originally posted by Miggggel *Update* I'm to the point that all I think about is suicide. Surfing the web, doing the research, writing the letters. All I think about is my ex fiancé and how ashamed I'm feeling. All I want is to have my best friend back. I feel like a zombie nowadays, just going through the motions of life. Before I met her I considered killing myself, but meeting her was a fresh of breath air in my life. No I feel like I'm sufficating again. Don’t know what to do? You are presently in a crisis situation and need assistance beyond the scope of this forum. If you continue to have suicidal thoughts, contact your local emergency number or hospital for immediate assistance. Most communities have a trained group of professionals who will assist you at a moment's notice through this crisis and help you make healthy choices. Please contact them now! Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number. Best wishes, Paul Link to post Share on other sites
PFPunks Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Hey Mig, Sounds like you got a bum time right now. I just want you to know that this is how things go sometimes. Your up and your down. When your up You never feel as good as you think you should, and when your down, you never think you'll make it back up again. If you were honest in your story, which I fully believe you were then im sure things will work out for the two of you. You made a mistake, but I think, more so then in other posts, that the two of you really are in love. NOW REMEMBER THAT IF YOU DO ANYTHING DRASTIC, YOU AND HER WILL NOT BE ABLE TO LOOK BACK ON THIS AND LAUGH WHEN YOUR OLD AND GREY. Now go call a good friend of yours and open up. We all know its hard but get it off your chest man. You cant let things like this fester. Make a game plan, decide if you love her enough to win her back and go do what you need to. Peace, Love, Surf Naked Andrew Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Go to her place (surprise her), it leaves a great effect, like you've risked to come for nothing, but you had to talk to her. Tell her only things like "I love you, that girl is totally unimportant, I will be faithful to you, you're the LOML, etc." Don't say anything that is not in accordance with I LOVE ONLY YOU. Cry if necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
Bunnylove Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Sweet hear you need some councelling! This is your LIFE we are talking about here! I know your heart aches but take some deep brethes and tell your poor heart you are there for it! Time to do what is best for yourself for a while! If you want her back your going to have to prove your strength and willingness to be a man! But if you guys dont work out, should that mean the end of your life!? This life is about you...I think you need to spend some time also with friends....find someone who has gone thorugh this kind of heartache and pain and see how they got through it! I CAN tell you that it will only take time! Be patient with yourself! try to find a way to love yourself more, learn to respect yourself. Go read some books on how to heal yourself from these pains. You never know..one day she might see you and fall in love with you all over again! but maybe she wasnt for you!? Maybe you wernt ready or strong enough to be with her! If you were happy then why would you have looked to another for love? ask yourself if she REALLY made you happy? or is it that you as a person...are just not happy? I really do suggest councelling in your case!!! Much love and kisses Link to post Share on other sites
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