Star Gazer Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 I looked about two weeks ago, just to see... he wasn't there. Today, he is. :sick: What I don't understand is that he just basically got a job that will cause him to move to the east coast within a month's time. WTF would he be looking to date NOW? I know I shouldn't care, but I do. So much. This hurts so very, very badly. Link to post Share on other sites
so_sad Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 I know exactly how you're feeling. It's the worst. Last week I found out that my ex-fiance is dating someone (apparently seriously) and I have felt deeply depressed ever since. He told me repeatedly that he wouldn't want to get into a relationship after we broke up. We still own our home together. And he seems to be in love with someone he met, like, a couple of months ago. It totally makes me feel sick, and I mean that literally. I've felt nauseated off and on since I found out. I feel like all the progress I made in the 4 months since our breakup has gone down the drain and I am at square one of despair. All I can cling to is that they are doing this to dull their own pain - looking for someone who can make them feel good about themselves again. I'm sorry you're going through this. Link to post Share on other sites
ashieannie Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Here is a story about Match.com and my ex. My ex and I met off of match.com we dated for 10 mos. and we ended in Nov. and the next day after the breakup I was deleting my emails from him, because I kept all the sweet little emails from the beginning. And of course the first email from match.com, so I saw it and decided to look to see if he was still on there. By george there he was and it said that he was online within 24 hours. And this was like the morning after the breakup I did this. So he didn't take anytime to get back into the datin world. Within less than 24 hrs. to be exact... Who knows though maybe this is their way of getting over us? Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 I looked about two weeks ago, just to see... he wasn't there. Today, he is. :sick: What I don't understand is that he just basically got a job that will cause him to move to the east coast within a month's time. WTF would he be looking to date NOW? I know I shouldn't care, but I do. So much. This hurts so very, very badly. But you know he uses empty flirtations with women to feel better about himself. So this isn't exactly news - it's just a different form of the same thing. He's not ready for an R Star... it's not personal. I know it hurts, but instead of feeling crappy, realize how badly he's about to screw over everyone he meets on that site. Those poor girls. Link to post Share on other sites
SeraBella Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Just because they are looking to date, doesn't mean they are looking for something serious...or even something to replace what you had. A lot of people go online right after a breakup just for something to fill the void and keep their minds off of it. And it's easy (just need a few minutes to create a profile) and you can get a few dates without having to go out, get someone's attention, keep the attention, impress them, and convince them to want to see you again. A lot of people feel the only way to get over someone is to find someone else. It's not healthy, but it's true. Of course none of what I said makes you feel better, but what they are looking for now will not make up for the love you had. Also, since he's moving soon, I really doubt he's looking for more than just a time/space/void filler. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 We didn't meet online, we meet in the flesh. When we had a tense moment over MySpace flirtation, he said a while back that he would never use the internet for dating or flirting. Uh huh. He's BROKE, UNEMPLOYED, and lives at HOME with his mother. His Match profile says he has a secret job that you have to ask him about (remember, he's unemployed), a strategically placed tattoo (which he does NOT have), and that he lives with roommates (he lives with this MOTHER! There's an option for "lives with parents"). He's like less than a month away from moving to freaking 2,000 miles away, what's the point in just now joining this site?!?!?! Okay, so he's a liar and clearly just trying to have fun. Wow. But even if he were being honest and wasn't moving away, do I really have the right to be upset about this? Honestly, within a day of our breakup, I was right back on eHarmony checking out my matches. I guess I was just thinking it was private, I'd be moving on but it would never be in his face...and that he could be doing the same thing. I was okay with that. But MATCH!? Where I can see it??!! And his main picture is a special picture he took while talking to me on the phone and sent to me via email. SICK!!!! :sick::sick: Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 We didn't meet online, we meet in the flesh. When we had a tense moment over MySpace flirtation, he said a while back that he would never use the internet for dating or flirting. Uh huh. He's BROKE, UNEMPLOYED, and lives at HOME with his mother. His Match profile says he has a secret job that you have to ask him about (remember, he's unemployed), a strategically placed tattoo (which he does NOT have), and that he lives with roommates (he lives with this MOTHER! There's an option for "lives with parents"). He's like less than a month away from moving to freaking 2,000 miles away, what's the point in just now joining this site?!?!?! Okay, so he's a liar and clearly just trying to have fun. Wow. But even if he were being honest and wasn't moving away, do I really have the right to be upset about this? Honestly, within a day of our breakup, I was right back on eHarmony checking out my matches. I guess I was just thinking it was private, I'd be moving on but it would never be in his face...and that he could be doing the same thing. I was okay with that. But MATCH!? Where I can see it??!! And his main picture is a special picture he took while talking to me on the phone and sent to me via email. SICK!!!! :sick::sick: And you like this guy why?? I'm sure he has good sides but from what you've said he is still undeniably an a$h$ole. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 But you know he uses empty flirtations with women to feel better about himself. So this isn't exactly news - it's just a different form of the same thing. He's not ready for an R Star... it's not personal. I know it hurts, but instead of feeling crappy, realize how badly he's about to screw over everyone he meets on that site. Those poor girls. I know, I know. I'm just so upset right now... I haven't cried over this effer in over a week. UGH! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 Just because they are looking to date, doesn't mean they are looking for something serious...or even something to replace what you had. I know. I'm looking too, and I'm not looking to replace what we had. Knowing that helps, but... Also, since he's moving soon, I really doubt he's looking for more than just a time/space/void filler. Right. So in other words, he'd rather have a time/space/void filler than be with ME. God, that hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 And you like this guy why?? I'm sure he has good sides but from what you've said he is still undeniably an a$h$ole. You know, at this point the only redeeming qualities I see in him are a hot body, perfect c*ck, and the ability to cook a perfect piece of salmon. Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Can we put a fish in his car now??? Sorry to hear that this upsets you. It's funny the things that present themselves ...later. Sounds like he is looking for a little fun. If he is leaving in a month and that far away he may not think there are any consequenses to the dishonesty. Also, the insensitivity over the picture. If anything you get a glimpse into some unfortunate character traits. Bullet dodged sweetie. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Oh how horrible to see that so soon after he broke up with you! BUT you can see this another way Star, you can think of this like you had a lucky escape. He has proven himself to be a liar and do you want to be with a man who lies? I feel sorry for the next poor girl he meets! Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Hey lets get him back for hurting you, every girl who has a Match account should mail him and arrange to meet him. Let him borrow the money off of mommy to meet a girl who wont be there! Link to post Share on other sites
SeraBella Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Right. So in other words, he'd rather have a time/space/void filler than be with ME. God, that hurts. That's not what i meant...some people just CANNOT do LDR's. I wouldn't want to be involved in one, either. I know it hurts, and really nothing can be said to make you feel better about it. But you are definitely too good for him. Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Hey lets get him back for hurting you, every girl who has a Match account should mail him and arrange to meet him. Let him borrow the money off of mommy to meet a girl who wont be there! Oh...you are evil....I like it. Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 You know, at this point the only redeeming qualities I see in him are a hot body, perfect c*ck, and the ability to cook a perfect piece of salmon. Lmao. You know, sometimes the really cute ones are the hardest to get over. I mean, physical perfection (including "down there") is my ex's only redeeming quality... and I can't get over HIM. I know it's shallow but all I can think about is how freaking cute our kids would have been. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Lmao. You know, sometimes the really cute ones are the hardest to get over. I mean, physical perfection (including "down there") is my ex's only redeeming quality... and I can't get over HIM. I know it's shallow but all I can think about is how freaking cute our kids would have been. Maybe you are just longing him more than ever because of AS guy that is not body perfect. Maybe before you started dating AS guy you forgot all about that. Link to post Share on other sites
SeraBella Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Hey lets get him back for hurting you, every girl who has a Match account should mail him and arrange to meet him. Let him borrow the money off of mommy to meet a girl who wont be there! lol...good idea! A few years ago I was dating a guy and found out he had a girlfriend and ended things. Then I was over a friend's house she had a yahoo personals ad and was showing me this guy she was meeting soon and I was skimming through the other ads and saw the guy I had just ended things with. She emailed him a few times and agreed to meet him but never showed. It was immature and childish, but I have to admit it was a little fun (especially since I felt he deserved it). Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 (edited) Honestly, within a day of our breakup, I was right back on eHarmony checking out my matches. So then why are you surprised that he is too ?.. Is he not allowed to move on and date other people since you broke up ? I can understand the sting SG.. but you were doing it the day after the breakup and he waited a couple of weeks. I see nothing wrong with it.. even for you.. I have done the same.. I think another poster mentioned that it actually helps with the pain relief of the breakup.. even if you aren't serious about dating and only looking for affirmation that you are lovable again.. ( which is why I have done it before ) Edited February 24, 2008 by Art_Critic Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 I think another poster mentioned that it actually helps with the pain relief of the breakup.. even if you aren't serious about dating and only looking for affirmation that you are lovable again.. ( which is why I have done it before ) But he's not in pain. I am! I just talked to him about it - not sure why - and he said he joined a few days ago because he's "bored" and wants to go out and get a beer, "nothing serious." That he's not looking to "date." THEN WTF IS HE ON A DATING SITE? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 (edited) But he's not in pain. I am! I just talked to him about it - not sure why - and he said he joined a few days ago because he's "bored" and wants to go out and get a beer, "nothing serious." That he's not looking to "date." THEN WTF IS HE ON A DATING SITE? I agree he is just bored and playing the field.... you really need to use the number one LS rule about healing the pain and start with NC.. If you stop contacting him things will start to get better.. There is a poster on LS ( I think it was LB ) who used to say " No new contacts means no new hurts ".. I firmly believe that to be true Edited February 24, 2008 by Art_Critic Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 Lmao. You know, sometimes the really cute ones are the hardest to get over. I mean, physical perfection (including "down there") is my ex's only redeeming quality... and I can't get over HIM. I know it's shallow but all I can think about is how freaking cute our kids would have been. He's literally physically perfect. I mean, perfect. No other guy could ever compare physically. I've never been so horny for a man 24/7 in my entire life. I'm afraid of never feeling that way about someone ever again... Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 But he's not in pain. I am! I just talked to him about it - not sure why - and he said he joined a few days ago because he's "bored" and wants to go out and get a beer, "nothing serious." That he's not looking to "date." THEN WTF IS HE ON A DATING SITE? Stop worrying about HIM and move on, sweetie. It's his life, just let him go and live yours. He doesn't feel the same way about you. Life sucks like that sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 He's literally physically perfect. I mean, perfect. No other guy could ever compare physically. I've never been so horny for a man 24/7 in my entire life. I'm afraid of never feeling that way about someone ever again... You know, if a guy said the same thing about a woman, he'd be called shallow trash by practically every woman on here. And I'm not trying to be offensive, I'm just making an observation. I applaud your honesty Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 Stop worrying about HIM and move on, sweetie. It's his life, just let him go and live yours. He doesn't feel the same way about you. Life sucks like that sometimes. I know. I know. Why can't I? What's holding me back!??!?! UGH!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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