mclovin Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 My second to last time with the OM, there was an incident. Not to sound gross, but he we were positioned sideways and he was behind me. To make a long story short, he had a condom on and we began fooling around. A few minutes later, we had sex and when he pulled it out, I noticed he had no condom on. I questioned him and he said he thought I knew that and that I seemed like I "wanted it" anyway. Later on that night, he suggested that he didn't want to use condoms with me in the future. I obviously told him no and made him aware yet again (for the 100th time) I was not on BC (no diseases for either of us) and that it was a stupid idea given we're both married (to other people) plus, he has kids and an ex wife with his first kid. We met again recently. Not long after we were together a similar thing happened. He had the condom on when he entered me. He was going roughly and his penis slipped out of me a few times. After we were done, he suddenly said in a phony-like voice, "Woops, what happened to the condom?" He found it right underneath me eventually. I was shocked and he seemed to have a sneakish look on his face. Then I got pissed and questioned if he had snuck it off. He denied it and said he would never do that to me, but I felt he was full of ****. Later on that night, he kept complaining about wearing a condom and putting his weener near my danger zone:p. Now, if he is sneaking it off, I'm questioning his motives. He knows I'm not on BC, we're both married (to others), and he has a history of doing this (a clue perhaps:confused:). This time around, he didn't cum, but there's still pre-ejack stuff. I spoke to a doc and took EC asap. I'm kind of angry at him because I think this might have been intentional. Plus, I am curious as to why he would do this since he has a history of an ex-wife and a soon-to-be- ex wife and pregnancies. I had a talk with him about all of this and he seemed to have either a sneaky or nonchalant attitude about this. I know it's a guy thing and men hate condoms, but if you're gonna cheat, don't you want to play things safe? Not to mention, I'm getting a divorce and looking forward to a single life of dating and eventually meeting the right person at some point. I don't see him in ANYWAY as a prospective long-term partner. He has way too much baggage and he is okay for the side. So what do you guys think? Is he sneaking this or does this kind of stuff happen? Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Yikes. Welcome to my world I was the OW and when I had sex with MM, well obviously he did not have a condom on which I thought he was wearing. Anyway, now I'm pregnant! Unfortunately, I am glad to see I am not the only one who is clueless about whether or not the man has a cap on. Simply do not sleep with him anymore, or wear a female condom. Protect yourself from the nasty diseases and also from pregnancy. you also need to discuss this issue with him. Maybe this is God's way of letting you know you shouldn't have sex with OM. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 I am curious as to why he would do this since he has a history of an ex-wife and a soon-to-be- ex wife and pregnancies. I'm not sure why you would be surprised by what he is doing. That is likely how he got to be where he is now. Playing "oopsie" with the condom like that against your wishes speaks volumes about him. I'm not sure why you would even consider being with someone like this regardless of how good the sex is. I can only imagine how many other countless women he has played "oopsie" with. You may want to consider a solid STD screening. Link to post Share on other sites
SeraBella Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 There are lots of men who fantasize about knocking women up, and lots of those men fantasize about tricking the women into getting pregnant. Sounds like he's one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mclovin Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 Yeah, I was pretty pissed at him for all of this. I didn't show it the rest of the time, but I did right after it happened. I don't plan on seeing him again because of this. It was disrespectful towards both of us and STUPID. I don't need this ******* trapping me. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 You're having sex with someone who is cheating on his wife and you're shocked he would do something lacking in integrity? I would consider it par for the course. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 (edited) Why are you even sleeping with this man ?... He is acting like an immature azzhole.. Don't sleep with any man married or single that can't act responsibly in the BC/Condom Arena as well as respect your wishes to BC/Condoms What a dumb shiot.. You both could wind up with a child and you will get the short end of that stick while he gets to smile that he reproduced again Edited February 25, 2008 by Art_Critic Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Yeah, I was pretty pissed at him for all of this. I didn't show it the rest of the time, but I did right after it happened. I don't plan on seeing him again because of this. It was disrespectful towards both of us and STUPID. I don't need this ******* trapping me. He direspected both of you, well now the two of you are in the club with your H and his W, since those are the first two people he disrespected. Seems like he is a hell of a guy. You know, that reaping and sowing thing comes to mind. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Sounds like a selfish jack*ss. I'd get the full STD screening.... When you go to get tested they only test for the standard three.... I'd ask for bloodwork as well. If this guys is disrespecting you by removing the condom, I wouldn't doubt he has done this with others before. I'd be Livid if a guy took the condom off on his accord. That is so disrespectful. I wouldn't talk to this guy ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mclovin Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 Better believe I have felt quite a number of momments of anger towards the OM for doing this. From the depths of my soul, I don't think these were accidents. Condoms don't dissappear unless the Great Houndini taps his magic wand and makes it disappear! When he pulled out, he was NOT flacid and fully erect. Condoms only "slip off" when a man is flacid. Even then, on him at least, they don't slip off (he's rather wide and long-sorry to skeev anyone out). My suspiciouns were he wanted to "feel it better" and hoped to plant his seed. I just wasn't sure if my suspicions were a figment of my imagination or if his intentions were what I pegged them to be. I will take care of myself. Sad part is, I am 29 and only had two sex partners my whole life. My H and OM. Although the sex was good with OM, his intentions proved to be disappointing. I wont lie and say this second time around, I was a little afraid he may be a repeat offender in regards to the condom era. I hope I'm still healthy and the EC was effective. I just want to get through this part of my life and move on to bigger and better things & men. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 It's hard to say if he has bad intentions or not.. I know that a lot of men HATE condoms.. it happened once that a guy sneaked out his condom... I am appalled (sp) at the number of men who want to have sex without a condom.. eventhough they know I have many partners.. they just trust that nothing will happen... Not sure what it is.. are they uneducated about the dangers.. do they just 'don't care'... do they trust women too much.. I've had sex with MM who asked not to wear condom.. knowing very much my lifestyle... so .. go figure.. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedMM Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 My suspiciouns were he wanted to "feel it better" Yep. That would be the reason right there. Plain and simple. hoped to plant his seed Not likely. I bet he'd be horrified if you had gotten knocked up. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 I really hope you don't end up pregnant, or worse--an STD. I had myself tested for STDs after learning I was pregnant. They came back negative, fortunately. I too wonder how the MM I slept with didn't have on a condom after we specifically discussed the importance. Who knows why men [some] don't feel it's necessary to cover up their tool. Some women too are not fans of condoms. I myself am sometimes irritated by a condom (sorry) and would rather not then do, but it is important. I once discussed the importance of condoms with high school students and afterward there was a Q/A discussion and I was amazed how many of these teens were obviously not having protected sex--one asked what is the significance of a condom. My response in mind was "don't have sex if you don't know the significance of a condom," but of course I kindly explained the significance. I was truly amazed how little these teens knew about safe sex. It's unfortunate there are some adults who are in the same boat as these helpless teens. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 How do you know that you're the only OW he's with? Don't have sex with him again. You're putting not only yourself at risk, but your husband as well. What is it that you actually "like" about MM? What good is he bringing into your life? He sounds like a big selfish jerk who doesn't care about ANY consquences. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mclovin Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 How do you know that you're the only OW he's with? Don't have sex with him again. You're putting not only yourself at risk, but your husband as well. Well, I know he did have a GF a while back as he told me. He's had tests, etc, which means nothing. As far as my H, we don't have sex anymore. We're in the process of a divorce. Since the first time the OM did this, I did not have sex with my H (prior to our agreement on the Divorce) because I felt it wasn't right. That's regardless of STD's. I just felt it was decieptful to screw two men at a time. What is it that you actually "like" about MM? What good is he bringing into your life? He sounds like a big selfish jerk who doesn't care about ANY consquences. I was physically and purelty sexually attracted to the OM. I felt no emotions to him whatsover. To be honest, I did use him purely for sex. He may have very well put more emotion into it. He even said he was the woman in this. All he brought into my life was experiencing another man and normal/better sex, escape and sex until I am single and can openly and honestly other single men. Guess I'm done with that. Whatever his intentions are, I'm not intending to subject myself to the possiblity pregnancy and God knows what else anymore! I just want to get through my divorce and painlessly as possible and move on. Thanks for your help people! Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 I'm glad you won't see him again. That really was a selfish move on his part. Condoms seldom just slip off by accident! Just to let you know- I was involved in a LDR with a guy and he pushed not to use a condom. I did end up getting pregnant because the condom broke. He told me after that he felt that it had broke but continued on anyway. This guy was a selfish jerk as well. I am so glad I don't have to deal with him anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mclovin Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 Why are you even sleeping with this man ?... He is acting like an immature azzhole.. Don't sleep with any man married or single that can't act responsibly in the BC/Condom Arena as well as respect your wishes to BC/Condoms What a dumb shiot.. You both could wind up with a child and you will get the short end of that stick while he gets to smile that he reproduced again Are you M or F? Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Art is a male. He always has good insightful advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Serious question to the poster, You say you're going to be divorced soon, has your husband messed around on you? If he didn't, what did hubby do that was so bad that you wanted to cheat on him? And PULEEZE, don't give me the don't judge me bullcrap line, it doesn't work with me! It's just a question............. Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Ok, I read the other Thread of yours, well, maybe he should get you in court really badly, IMO. But your cheating does say a whole lot about you, then not coming clean about it. If you do tell your hubby about your cheating on him with the OM, that's almost a sure fire way of him not contacting you anymore! At least the hubby contacting you problem will be solved! Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Mclovin, drop this guy and fast! First of all, 1) he is immature if he cannot ask you up front if you're ok having sex w/o a condom 2) he is stupid for putting 2 married people at risk 3) he is disrespectful for not caring about your feelings in this matter DTMFA And, congratulations in advance on the D. Join the club. I hope you find someone free and available! Drop the Mo Fo Already! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 he'd understand the importance of using a condom. You are missing it.. It was disrespectful.. it isn't about understanding.. He doesn't respect you... The guy did it on purpose.... All he wants is his ego boost that he knocked you up.. 10-1 if you had gotten pregnant the first words out of his mouth would've been " I can't have another kid..You need to have an abortion " then of course he would blame you for the pregnancy and you would never hear another peep out of him.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mclovin Posted February 28, 2008 Author Share Posted February 28, 2008 It was deliberate. Unless he's remarkably un-endowed, those things don't "just slip off". But you knew that already I'm sure. Although most of you were supportive ( and it was much appreciated), I wanted to take this opportunity to thank OWL for giving me an answer to my actual question. Support is terrific, but I really wanted to know opinions on the matter. Oh, and he's not remarkably un-endowed at all. Even when he's not erect, the condom is still pretty tight on him. Guess it was definetly deliberate then. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mclovin Posted February 28, 2008 Author Share Posted February 28, 2008 You are missing it.. It was disrespectful.. it isn't about understanding.. He doesn't respect you... The guy did it on purpose.... All he wants is his ego boost that he knocked you up.. 10-1 if you had gotten pregnant the first words out of his mouth would've been " I can't have another kid..You need to have an abortion " then of course he would blame you for the pregnancy and you would never hear another peep out of him.. I mostly agree with you there. God forbid it did happen, I would call him and ask him for money for an abortion. So I wouldn't even give him the chance to say that in the first place. I would blame him because he snuck the thing off in the first place then told me he didn't want to use condoms anymore and kept trying to put it in. He would know that. Link to post Share on other sites
twice_shy Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 What makes you think I'm marrying the other guy??? I never stated that nor did I intimate it in any other way. Just curious were you came up with this. Then why did you post this?: ======= "I'm in the midst of divorce and LEGALLY SEPARTATED. As far as telling my soon-to-be "H" ======= Any reason you referred to him as your "soon-to-be H" if you "never stated that nor did [you] intimate it an any other way"?? My interest in him is PURELY physical and sexual. The only emotion I have towards him is anger for putting us BOTH in jeapordy due to his stupidity. Then I can say, what a fine guy you picked to cheat on your husband with. I figured at his old age with numerous kids and two shotgun weddings in a row, he'd understand the importance of using a condom. I would NEVER NEVER EVER marry this guy even if he and I were single. But he was good enough to destroy your marriage over?? Link to post Share on other sites
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