CaliGuy Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Women answer the age old question: Do they really like dating jerks? http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/74753/she-says-vs-he-says-do-girls;_ylc=X3oDMTF1YTBpOTk1BF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEc2VjA2ZwX3RvZGF5BHNsawNzaGUtc2F5cy12cy1oZS1zYXlzLWRvLWdpcmxzBHp6A2Fi Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 I read that today - and found that there wasn't really an answer provided, either which way. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 I don't think women make a conscious decision to date a jerk. I think it refers to how "jerks, players, bad boys" (whatever you want to call them) often have a great playbook on how to be charming. A player usually says all the things you want to hear/need to hear, and in doing so makes a woman feel really good. Yes- sometimes we knowingly allow ourselves to be fooled just because of the initial adrenaline rush. What ends up happening is that when the walls come crashing down and the true nature of a jerks personality comes out.... we have already framed this guy in a certain manner. We have seen and felt the adreneline rush- and when the jerk surfaces, we keep thinking that the guy we met is going to come back. He doesn't ever come back.... but we'll live in the first month of the relationship because that's when we felt the greatest...and we just want that back. That's been my experience in the past when I have gotten trapped in those kind of going nowhere scenarios. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 I dated jerks when I was younger, but I grew out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
JerseyShortie Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 It's not that women like dating jerks. But we don't want to date push-overs either. "Jerks" tend to be charming and are exciting. What women really want is a truly good, honorable man that makes her feel excitment. That is what most men want as well. A nice guy who is good on paper but is a bore isn't going to cut it. A "Jerk" might cut it for a short time but it's not enough to really get a girl..at least a smart one. So no, women don't want "jerks". They want great guys that make them feel beautiful and alive. Unfortunetly, sometimes it's the "jerks" that have mastered how to make a woman feel beautiful and alive. Men have their own version of this as well. I know lots of "good girls" that get passed up for the flashy and obvious sexy woman that isn't such a nice person. Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 A nice guy who is good on paper but is a bore isn't going to cut it. That's certainly true! The article's question is rather moot, as women are simply going for guys who possess or can generate the element of attraction. This happens to be much easier for the so-called "jerks" than it can be for other guys. It takes completely different skill sets to 1) attract women and 2) maintain a relationship. However, if you don't have skill set #1, it makes no difference whether skill set #2 is in place. Link to post Share on other sites
sandflea Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 I think it takes time to determine is he, or she, is a jerk. Usually you end up realizing that you're dating a jerk right after the honeymoon period ends - and you're asking yourself questions like "he/she just asked me to <insert something selfish and demeaning here>" WTF??? At that point you realize that someone is suffocating you, and you start to think of kicking him or her to the curb. Isn't it funny how we romanticize and rationalize though. My ex is very pretty - and when I see her now I'm still blown away. Of course, then common sense kicks in. That, or one of my friends slaps me.. LOL! SF Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 I think it takes time to determine is he, or she, is a jerk. Usually you end up realizing that you're dating a jerk right after the honeymoon period ends - and you're asking yourself questions like "he/she just asked me to <insert something selfish and demeaning here>" WTF??? SF Yeah - that was pretty much the difference between the he said/she said in that article. I mean, of course some people choose to just date jerks for the excitement and drama of it all (men and women both). But a lot of times you don't know right away. That's pretty much what she said (while he seemed to think women do know right off the bat). I think that, with experience, women (let's say) learn to be wary of certain characteristics that they might not otherwise have seen as red flags - for example, recognizing when someone is charming but insincere, or possessive, or unfaithful. But it's not always obvious. And it can be really heady to have someone sweep you off your feet; in that state, it's so darn easy to rationalize any red flags that might peep up. Until it's a bit too late. Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Yeah - that was pretty much the difference between the he said/she said in that article. I mean, of course some people choose to just date jerks for the excitement and drama of it all (men and women both). But a lot of times you don't know right away. That's pretty much what she said (while he seemed to think women do know right off the bat). Fundamental point-of-view difference. A woman is viewing herself in the relationship, while a guy (who doesn't think of himself as a jerk) is taking a 3rd-person point of view -- the woman in a relationship with another guy who is a jerk. As any poker player will tell you, 3rd-person reads are more accurate more quickly than 1st/2nd-person reads. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Women answer the age old question: Do they really like dating jerks? http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/74753/she-says-vs-he-says-do-girls;_ylc=X3oDMTF1YTBpOTk1BF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEc2VjA2ZwX3RvZGF5BHNsawNzaGUtc2F5cy12cy1oZS1zYXlzLWRvLWdpcmxzBHp6A2Fi That's interesting! I sure ran into a couple of those type's of men in my youth! AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Fundamental point-of-view difference. A woman is viewing herself in the relationship, while a guy (who doesn't think of himself as a jerk) is taking a 3rd-person point of view -- the woman in a relationship with another guy who is a jerk. As any poker player will tell you, 3rd-person reads are more accurate more quickly than 1st/2nd-person reads. That's assuming 3rd-person is a disinterested party, which is demonstrably not true on this topic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted February 26, 2008 Author Share Posted February 26, 2008 Sure, good men might be boring, but a see-saw relationship, while exciting to some degree doesn't guarantee it will work in the long haul. Jerky women don't do it for me. I can't hang out with players or jerks. I think the point of the article that I wanted to get out was simply that jerky men's attraction is a facade. They are not confident, secure or independent but little insecure girly men who hide it by simply acting confident and secure. A smart, intelligent and truly confident woman will see through it quickly and move on to a truly balanced and good man Cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Well, Women answer the age old question: Do they really like dating jerks? Yesterday that the server was down, I was digging old Denver guy's posts and I found this written by him: -------------- Dear Doctor Rude, Why do nice computers always end up with jerk operating systems? Signed, A Sensitive New-Age OS Dear Sensitive, Well, that is a very good question--on the surface, one can't help but wonder why nice computers put up with jerk operating systems and don't just boot them out the drive door. Yet, when asked about this particular issue, the computers give some fairly consistent answers-- the basic problem is that nice operating systems are just too boring and predictable: sure, everything is all nice and secure, but they just don't generate the excitement that leads to all those special GUI feelings that really make loading up a system in the morning worthwhile. Computers need to feel wanted--they want to feel like their operating systems are spending some time seeking out their files, even if it means putting up with a bit of thrashing now and again. They want their OS's to find their own pointers and not have to ASCII them about everything. Remember that computers take time to warm up, they want an OS with a slow handle; don't just dive straight for that hard drive, spend some time lingering on the floppies and, don't just pull up the file and then ignore the computer, go back and pay attention to those floppies when the computer isn't expecting it. Computers have drives too--don't just ignore them as soon as you have a file loaded up into cache memory: they want slowness and sensuality, not just "wham-bam-thankyou-RAM." I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but romance means a lot to a computer--be sure to spend lots of time on the busses. Niceness in an OS just doesn't stack up to the sort of overflowing emotions that jerk OS's call up. You can be nice and gentle and jump whenever you're told, but it just doesn't add up to a heap of beans if don't know when to carry her off and nybble her most senstive bits. But, if you really want a crash course on how to be a jerk OS and get on all the nicest computers, just remember that--write or ROM--when the chips are down, they want an OS that is well-hung and will go down long and often. Doctor Rude Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Eyed Brain Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 I think it takes time to determine is he, or she, is a jerk. Usually you end up realizing that you're dating a jerk right after the honeymoon period ends - and you're asking yourself questions like "he/she just asked me to <insert something selfish and demeaning here>" WTF??? At that point you realize that someone is suffocating you, and you start to think of kicking him or her to the curb. Isn't it funny how we romanticize and rationalize though. My ex is very pretty - and when I see her now I'm still blown away. Of course, then common sense kicks in. That, or one of my friends slaps me.. LOL! SF Yes, and darn those rose colored glasses..... Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Women love jerks. If only I was more of a jerk I'd be many more times rich and famous. Maybe one day if I practice I can become a greater jerk. Treat a women like dirt and she'll stick to you like mud! Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Women love jerks. If only I was more of a jerk I'd be many more times rich and famous. Maybe one day if I practice I can become a greater jerk. Treat a women like dirt and she'll stick to you like mud! You are officially Alphamales replacement. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Women love jerks. If only I was more of a jerk I'd be many more times rich and famous. Maybe one day if I practice I can become a greater jerk. Treat a women like dirt and she'll stick to you like mud! lawl, so true Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 lawl, so true The woman that truly love jerks are in a class of their own. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 They all do. Look how much they love Jack Sparrow as played by Johny Depp Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 They all do. Look how much they love Jack Sparrow as played by Johny Depp Its a movie, thats all, plus its well known that celebrities have lots of fans. Start a thread and ask women if they love jerks. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Allot of people have completely unrealistic expectations of what a relationship is. They live in this fantasy world that will never come true, for females jerks are the prince of that fantasy world as they appear to represent everything a chick wants. Adventure, Excitement, "Romance" its almost comical, the funniest thing is to watch it all come crashing down when a year later that "Prince" starts screwing the chicks sister. Call me sadistic but it gives me a good laugh when I hear these stories from people I know in real life, all I can think in my head is - your a moron. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Allot of people have completely unrealistic expectations of what a relationship is. They live in this fantasy world that will never come true, for females jerks are the prince of that fantasy world as they appear to represent everything a chick wants. Adventure, Excitement, "Romance" its almost comical, the funniest thing is to watch it all come crashing down when a year later that "Prince" starts screwing the chicks sister. Call me sadistic but it gives me a good laugh when I hear these stories from people I know in real life, all I can think in my head is - your a moron. Yes this is exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not saying women like them because they are jerks. Maybe the girl likes him because he's in a band or what ever, the fact is, this same guy who she was hotter for then any other guy in her life, also cheated on her constantly, didn't give a crap about her, and ended up giving her crabs or something and thinking it was funny. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Yes this is exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not saying women like them because they are jerks. Maybe the girl likes him because he's in a band or what ever, the fact is, this same guy who she was hotter for then any other guy in her life, also cheated on her constantly, didn't give a crap about her, and ended up giving her crabs or something and thinking it was funny. Who would find that funny? I am confused by your post. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Who would find that funny? I am confused by your post. the Jerk would. as opposed to feeling bad for cheating and spreading an STI. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 the Jerk would. as opposed to feeling bad for cheating and spreading an STI. I find the whole thing funny to watch, seriously its like these girls are asking for it, then when it happens they start crying and saying "why?" good stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
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