layercakegal Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Hi all - dont hate me Im in a long distance relationship, and am into bdsm, and cant help going on chat sites and talking to guys about it. I then talk to them on msn (a seperate account from the one i use for talking to my mates) and we just say what we'd do to each other, like how hed tie me up and whatever else. Usually i dont know their names, ages, what they look like or anything. I never use my real name or any real details about myself, have never given out a phone number or anything further than talking about it. I have no intention to phone them, meet them, whatever. My boyfriend doesnt sexually/physically satisfy me, mostly because we're both virgins and dont know what we're doing, altho i have more knowledge about stuff, but only from the internet and friends. I want to know if im cheating on my boyfriend, i love him very much but i only see him every month or so, and when hes away and im horny i just tend to get the urge to go on these sites, and occasionally act out a fantasy with someone on there. Im a horrible horrible person :(:( Link to post Share on other sites
pinkrazr Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 I guess what I can put in here is the "what would you do/or feel if you found out your boyfriend was doing this to you as well". If you aren't ready to be in a relationship, and enjoy more of the fantasy. break it off. or, maybe try to introduce him into your world. you say you are both virgins. what better time than now to experiment with small stuff? if he isnt into it/wont get into it. thats a decision you gotta make. If you want to roll with the guy that doesn't do it for you, or to let go of that. and enjoy the guilt free fantasies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author layercakegal Posted February 26, 2008 Author Share Posted February 26, 2008 i would feel devastated the fantasies are just silly, theyre not even what i want to happen in real life. hes into it a little bit, just the right amount if you ask me. he does do it for me though, he just isnt sure of what hes doing lol. i feel sick Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 My boyfriend doesnt sexually/physically satisfy me, mostly because we're both virgins and dont know what we're doing, altho i have more knowledge about stuff, but only from the internet and friends. Why are you two still virgins? Why not explore your sexual side with your boyfriend, who knows maybe he'll be into it as well. Doing it online with strangers, or dirtytalkin' isn't going tomake your relationship better. Infact, it will make it worse. I want to know if im cheating on my boyfriend, i love him very much but i only see him every month or so, and when hes away and im horny i just tend to get the urge to go on these sites, and occasionally act out a fantasy with someone on there. It is a form of cheating. Imagine if he was doing the exact same thing online with a bunch of girls, I bet you would be hurt and jealous, feel like he was cheating on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author layercakegal Posted February 26, 2008 Author Share Posted February 26, 2008 we are just exploring things so far, doing stuff besides sex, its just we are both shy i just did it when i was horny and he was away, when i dont see him for weeks on end i would feel hurt if hed done it to me, but i have deleted the account on the site and also the msn account i used, i just want it all to go away i feel horrible, i cant believe ive done this to him Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 You're not horrible, you're inquisitive. How adept are you at using BDSM stuff and fantacizing while you masturbate? That might help you learn more about many sides of your sexuality. Nothing wrong with staying a virgin until you're ready. Take it from someone who walked that path. I wouldn't worry about it. If you think BF is receptive, talk to him about BDSM, which is a normal subset of sexual behavior. Nothing to be ashamed of. Personally, if no identifying information was exchanged, I wouldn't even mention the faux paux on the chat site. Would it really matter in the long run? You won't do it again Link to post Share on other sites
Author layercakegal Posted February 26, 2008 Author Share Posted February 26, 2008 not very, usually i just look at stuff on the internet and do it while looking at them. and yeah if we were both ready then we'd have done it, but i guess we arent so thats why. i dont really mind, im in no rush we have joked about bdsm, and even got into some light stuff. i cant/wont/dont want to mention this to him. it will just cause upset and heartbreak when there doesnt need to be any, at least for him. i love him and going on these sites and talking to these people is just a stupid thing i do when im horny, i cant help it. im not doing it from now on, but its my own fault and i just hope i can get past it, because right now i feel like ive betrayed him and i feel sick Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Then don't do it anymore if you feel bad and think you're cheating on him. Focus that energy into exploring eachother's bodies, trying new things - Have fun, make it passionate and loving. Link to post Share on other sites
Author layercakegal Posted February 26, 2008 Author Share Posted February 26, 2008 thanks, i will do whichwayisup, i get to see him in a week when he comes home for a friends birthday, and i cant wait. this has all made me more determined to show how much i love and care for him, and to be a decent girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts