Just Started NC Today

[HeatherK08]

Last night the MM stayed over. I have already been feeling insecure about our situation. A month ago he was in his own place, making plans to leave for good. Then he went on a family trip, during which we argued, and he went right back home. We decided to re-start under different understandings, that he needed to exhaust his marriage counseling and make sure he was doing the right thing with minimal regrets. Since then he has kept saying how sorry he is for making me wait, he notices when I am down and would tell me how he wants to spend a life time with me. But those words only hurt me more.

 

During love making I had to stop, I couldn't go on because it was too painful knowing he isn't really mine. He's had about a month of being home and comfortable and seeing me on the side, and my respect for him has slowly been diminishing. I know he means well, but that's now, is he really in it for the long haul? We're about to find out.

 

The IM convo went like this:

 

MM:I'm sorry I'm not yours yet. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

(I didn't respond, too upset)

MM: Are we fighting? I don't understand what's happening.

MM: Did I do something wrong?

MM: Maybe I shouldn't come over Thursday night...

Me: I don't think you should.

MM:

MM: You were so upset last night, maybe this just can't work, even temporarily.

Me: I think you're right.

MM: Well, thanks for finally being honest with me.

MM: And with yourself.

Me: It wasn't a matter of being honest. I don't make impulsive decisions and usually wait before I act on them.

MM: But you haven't been communicating your thought process with me, which is what I was referring to.

Me: It's been the same thought process that we've already gone over.

MM: So maybe "honest" was not the right word exactly.

MM: Not sure what that means, since we've discussed a number of things.

MM: Do you want to cut off all communications with me, to try that again?

Me: I think that would be best. You can be off the hook and I won't be hurting every time I look into your eyes.

MM: That's very sad and hard.

MM: I don't want to be off any hook

MM: But how are you hurting when you look in my eyes?

Me: Yes you do.

Me: Because I see love and everything I hope for in them.

MM: and that hurts?

Me: Yes.

MM: I hope you know why you see it there.

MM: I'm crying now.

Me: I cry every day for you.

MM: I'm sorry for hurting you by loving you.

MM: I'm sorry I couldn't change my life fast enough for you.

MM: I will always love you, no matter what.

Me: If you want to change it, you will.

MM: It's very very hard, but I understand.

Me: It's not that it's not fast enough for me. It's the way it's being done.

Me: Or not done.

Me: I have to go.

MM: Me too

 

The last time we went NC it lasted for 4 days and he emailed me and was crying and depressed. I thought it meant he had made a decision, but he got scared and pulled back. I feel like I don't even have the chance to argue with him, because he can just run home whenever we're in disagreement. I have no rights, no room for myself in this 'relationship'. We've gone over all of this, which is why he was so quick to agree to NC.

 

So either he'll make things happen and tell me what's going on from time to time, or he will take this opportunity of being off the hook to say fare thee well.

 

I'm at work now but will be a mess later.

[Owl]

He goes easily to NC, because so far you've never stuck to it.

 

Why not change your email/IM addresses, or block him. If you're going NC...take steps YOURSELF to ensure that this time it sticks.

 

Make sense?

[HeatherK08]

He goes easily to NC, because so far you've never stuck to it.

 

Why not change your email/IM addresses, or block him. If you're going NC...take steps YOURSELF to ensure that this time it sticks.

 

Make sense?

 

People can block im/emails etc., doesn't matter, if you want to contact someone you will find a way. Besides, we work at the same company. I can go weeks without seeing him, and I am QUEEN of ignore. Once I shut down it takes a lot to get me back. He knows it. He agreed so quickly also because he sees my pain, and he knows this is wrong.

[Owl]

People can block im/emails etc., doesn't matter, if you want to contact someone you will find a way. Besides, we work at the same company. I can go weeks without seeing him, and I am QUEEN of ignore. Once I shut down it takes a lot to get me back. He knows it. He agreed so quickly also because he sees my pain, and he knows this is wrong.

 

BUT...he's always gotten back in before, right?

 

Sure, it took weeks...but its always happened.

 

What makes this time any different??? (unless you do something to MAKE it different)

 

Last thought...the most selfish thing on the planet is a married person involved in an affair (closely followed by a starving great white shark gaurding its first kill in weeks). He agreed so quickly because he thought that it was in his best interest in some fashion. Either to wait a few days/weeks and bring you back around, or because it'll make his situation at home easier, or something.

 

Why NOT take action to make it stick this time?

[LOVE DAISIES]

OMG Heather, I could have written this post. My EXMM would say the same crap..over and over. "I care about you, I want you in my life, it won't be like this forever.....yada yada yada. Same story, different day.

I can't even tellyou how many times we argued over this. I was angry, resentful (still am) the more he told me how much he cared, and wanted to be with me. It all seemed like a mind game to me. When I would tell him I needed to end it, he would pull the "I would be so sad without you in my life, and miss you terribly" card. Of course I fell for it.

But then it would happen again. Because I knew I was fooling myself. He would say the words I wanted to hear, to keep gettingwhat HE wanted.

But when push came to shove....he could never prove it with his actions.

And probably never WOULD. So, like you, I got fed up.

 

I know NC is SOOOO hard. But what's the alternative? To wait and wait and wait......and waste time on someone who is completely selfish.

You are doing the right thing..even if sometimes it doesn't feel like it.

One day will turn into a week....and you WILL heal from this. We both will.

I know you need support and someone who understands..I DO...Believe me. I feel for you though. I at least never got physically involved with my

friend"....and I am not sure if I did if I would have ever been able to break away. So I know this is extra hard for you.

 

You know....one day I just decided I had enough. And I just went cold turkey. I just STOPPED responding to him completely. Otherwise we were just going round and round.....but getting nowhere. It is simple...but it's NOT easy. Some days I miss him so much I want to cry...but I refuse to waste any more tears on someone who didn;t loveme enough to put me first. Just try to find the strength somehow. You can do it.

Just hang in there....

[IWALH]

OH MY GOSH!!!!! THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE CONVERSATIONS XMM AND I USED TO HAVE!!! EXACTLY!!!

 

Sorry for all caps, I am just floored right now! I always thought of my situation as so different and so unique and as my xMM as being the ONE who is different from the rest. But I always get proved wrong when I see posts like this! Seeing posts like this are what helps me get my head on right again. For the last few days I have been feeling a little uneasy about him again (sparked by a weird dream and the fact that I am going up to his area next week), but now I feel fine again. Because it was all an ACT!!!

 

That's all it is to these guys, honey. An act. A facade. He does know that you will eventually give in to him again. Not because you are weak, but because he is that good. They are master manipulators and know EXACTLY what to say in almost every situation. True Casanovas, they are. A different kind of Casanova, but Casanovas, none the less.

 

By the way, how old is he? I would venture to say that this one is significantly older than you. But please correct me if I am wrong.

[HeatherK08]

BUT...he's always gotten back in before, right?

 

Sure, it took weeks...but its always happened.

 

What makes this time any different??? (unless you do something to MAKE it different)

 

Last thought...the most selfish thing on the planet is a married person involved in an affair (closely followed by a starving great white shark gaurding its first kill in weeks). He agreed so quickly because he thought that it was in his best interest in some fashion. Either to wait a few days/weeks and bring you back around, or because it'll make his situation at home easier, or something.

 

Why NOT take action to make it stick this time?

 

Um. Ya don't get it - I'm the one who initiated this NC even though he 'brought it up' in the IM, and I don't have to DO anything. I have an amazing ability to keep people out. He'd tell ya all about it! We've gone NC once before way in the beginning (this A is only 4 mos old) mutually because we wanted to do the 'right thing.' He broke contact and I accepted under my own terms (realizing he would prolly never leave).

 

If he contacted me again, which is likely, I would keep a list of reasons why on an index card and look at them when I'm talking to him - I'd ask how things are going and wish him luck. If he wants to know how I'm doing, he has my therapist's number, and I have his.

[HeatherK08]

OMG Heather, I could have written this post. My EXMM would say the same crap..over and over. "I care about you, I want you in my life, it won't be like this forever.....yada yada yada. Same story, different day.

I can't even tellyou how many times we argued over this. I was angry, resentful (still am) the more he told me how much he cared, and wanted to be with me. It all seemed like a mind game to me. When I would tell him I needed to end it, he would pull the "I would be so sad without you in my life, and miss you terribly" card. Of course I fell for it.

But then it would happen again. Because I knew I was fooling myself. He would say the words I wanted to hear, to keep gettingwhat HE wanted.

But when push came to shove....he could never prove it with his actions.

And probably never WOULD. So, like you, I got fed up.

 

I know NC is SOOOO hard. But what's the alternative? To wait and wait and wait......and waste time on someone who is completely selfish.

You are doing the right thing..even if sometimes it doesn't feel like it.

One day will turn into a week....and you WILL heal from this. We both will.

I know you need support and someone who understands..I DO...Believe me. I feel for you though. I at least never got physically involved with my

friend"....and I am not sure if I did if I would have ever been able to break away. So I know this is extra hard for you.

 

You know....one day I just decided I had enough. And I just went cold turkey. I just STOPPED responding to him completely. Otherwise we were just going round and round.....but getting nowhere. It is simple...but it's NOT easy. Some days I miss him so much I want to cry...but I refuse to waste any more tears on someone who didn;t loveme enough to put me first. Just try to find the strength somehow. You can do it.

Just hang in there....

 

I had given it more time that I would've because of the religious complications (he's orthodox jew, I'm not even remotely religious), I'd have to convert, divorces are a HUGE deal to them, etc., three small kids, it really seemed impossible, which is why I wasn't pressuring him to 'choose'. I'm still not, it was just too painful to keep going. I love him, he loves me, sometimes love is not enough...I don't know what will happen, and I really hate this, but I have too much self respect to continue on.

[HeatherK08]

OH MY GOSH!!!!! THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE CONVERSATIONS XMM AND I USED TO HAVE!!! EXACTLY!!!

 

Sorry for all caps, I am just floored right now! I always thought of my situation as so different and so unique and as my xMM as being the ONE who is different from the rest. But I always get proved wrong when I see posts like this! Seeing posts like this are what helps me get my head on right again. For the last few days I have been feeling a little uneasy about him again (sparked by a weird dream and the fact that I am going up to his area next week), but now I feel fine again. Because it was all an ACT!!!

 

That's all it is to these guys, honey. An act. A facade. He does know that you will eventually give in to him again. Not because you are weak, but because he is that good. They are master manipulators and know EXACTLY what to say in almost every situation. True Casanovas, they are. A different kind of Casanova, but Casanovas, none the less.

 

By the way, how old is he? I would venture to say that this one is significantly older than you. But please correct me if I am wrong.

 

Don't discount everything he said to you - don't all lover's conversations sound the same? Whether gf/bf/married, etc. "I miss you babe, I miss you too, etc" Of course - because it's love. People can be sincere in the moment, really, I honestly believe most of them had the best intentions, but they need time to reeeeeally let it soak in and ask themselves, is this what they really want? Without that space, it would be an impuslive decision, one that everyone may regret.

 

Yes, he's 41 and I'm 28, I used to be his assistant, it's all very cliche I assure you.

[IWALH]

Don't discount everything he said to you - don't all lover's conversations sound the same? Whether gf/bf/married, etc. "I miss you babe, I miss you too, etc" Of course - because it's love. People can be sincere in the moment, really, I honestly believe most of them had the best intentions, but they need time to reeeeeally let it soak in and ask themselves, is this what they really want? Without that space, it would be an impuslive decision, one that everyone may regret.

 

Yes, he's 41 and I'm 28, I used to be his assistant, it's all very cliche I assure you.

 

I see what you are saying. But, in retrospect, I honestly do not believe that my xMM loved me. Or if he did, it went away soon after the last time we talked (during which he professed his "love" for me), because he never called again... nor did I. That was 8 months ago.

 

This wasn't his first rodeo, either. He had admitted to several affairs he had before me, but he said he never fell in love with any of them. He did say that he fell in love with one early on in his relationship with his wife, but he never slept with her (which he said he now regrets).

 

I asked about the age thing because your xMM sounds just like mine. My xMM is 43 and I am 23.

[HeatherK08]

I see what you are saying. But, in retrospect, I honestly do not believe that my xMM loved me. Or if he did, it went away soon after the last time we talked (during which he professed his "love" for me), because he never called again... nor did I. That was 8 months ago.

 

This wasn't his first rodeo, either. He had admitted to several affairs he had before me, but he said he never fell in love with any of them. He did say that he fell in love with one early on in his relationship with his wife, but he never slept with her (which he said he now regrets).

 

I asked about the age thing because your xMM sounds just like mine. My xMM is 43 and I am 23.

 

I know he loves me, but does he love himself enough to do what makes him happy? Their history? Married at 20, she let herself go...like realllllly let herself go. He felt obligated to because of his religion, he did love her but wasn't ready to get married. He feels that her neglect is not enough to cause a divorce, I disagree, but everyone has to see things in their own time. He may not have the guts to leave, besides that affecting our possible 'future' I know that he is very depressed and I'm not sure how long he will be able to keep everything going the way it has been without some kind of meltdown. :/

 

It was better when I was just his friend with a crush, because at least I could be supportive, now I have lost all objectivity and am only thinking about us being together, not what's best for him. Which may be that he needs to be on his own for a while. Without anyone.

[nadiaj2727]

Congrats on going NC. Honestly he sounds like he likes to blame everything on you and make everything seem like your fault/ your decision. He doesn't take responsibility for his actions. He is a fence-sitting cake-eater and you can do way better. Be strong and stay in NC.

 

You are beautiful and intelligent. You should forget this guy and find a single one. I say make sure he is out of your life FOR GOOD. The way that conversation went, it's like he KNOWS it is temporary and he almost even wants it, so that he doesnt' have to be around you when you're upset and bothered by him not being divorced yet. Then he'll come around when it's time to start the excitement up again. MM can be very manipulative like that. Don't let him do that to you. Make sure it's for real this time. I would send him an email or letter saying

 

"I love myself too much to go through this anymore. It is over for good. Do not ever contact me again. Thank you."

And then show him by your actions that you mean those words.

 

Good luck, stay strong. (hugs)

[Gwyneth]

Congrats on going NC. Honestly he sounds like he likes to blame everything on you and make everything seem like your fault/ your decision. He doesn't take responsibility for his actions. He is a fence-sitting cake-eater and you can do way better. Be strong and stay in NC.

 

 

Exactly. The cheater will Always try to make their self look good and the person they are cheating with feel like the guilty party. They very well know they are the one who is causing the damage--this is their way of transferring their guilt.

 

MM are programmed what to say (MW too I guess). They all seem to say the same exact things from what I've been seeing around here. I have never had this types of convos with the MM I was having the affair with so I cannot relate or compare, but I am seeing patterns in this board.

 

Keep up with the NC and you'll see how far you can get. That's good you can turn on that "ignore" switch.

 

You must be a Taurus!

[HeatherK08]

Exactly. The cheater will Always try to make their self look good and the person they are cheating with feel like the guilty party. They very well know they are the one who is causing the damage--this is their way of transferring their guilt.

 

MM are programmed what to say (MW too I guess). They all seem to say the same exact things from what I've been seeing around here. I have never had this types of convos with the MM I was having the affair with so I cannot relate or compare, but I am seeing patterns in this board.

 

Keep up with the NC and you'll see how far you can get. That's good you can turn on that "ignore" switch.

 

You must be a Taurus!

 

No, just a very dysfunctional Saggittarious. It's been difficult sorting out the projections from the feelings and intentions. He would say that I'm not paying him enough attention, or doing enough to show him I was serious about him and would even ask if I 'really' loved him, as if he didn't really believe me. I guess because somehow, if I had thrown myself at him every chance I had, it would by some miracle, make him single or at least give him the motivation to be. These insecurities are why he stays, I can't change that for him...

[Owl]

MM are programmed what to say (MW too I guess). They all seem to say the same exact things from what I've been seeing around here. I have never had this types of convos with the MM I was having the affair with so I cannot relate or compare, but I am seeing patterns in this board.

 

So NOW you believe in "the script"?

[nadiaj2727]

So NOW you believe in "the script"?

 

Yaaaaay step 1 to getting out of a relationship with a married man is acknowledging they are NOT your perfect soul mate, they are lying cheating scumbags. Step 2 is realizing they are following a script to make themselves feel better and justify their lying cheating ways. Step 3 is NC and moving on to a brighter future without them. (I know... easier said than done sometimes!)

[nadiaj2727]

No, just a very dysfunctional Saggittarious. It's been difficult sorting out the projections from the feelings and intentions. He would say that I'm not paying him enough attention, or doing enough to show him I was serious about him and would even ask if I 'really' loved him, as if he didn't really believe me. I guess because somehow, if I had thrown myself at him every chance I had, it would by some miracle, make him single or at least give him the motivation to be. These insecurities are why he stays, I can't change that for him...

 

This goes along with the "mattress" theory. They want to make sure you're going to catch them when they land after they jump off their crashing airplane (marriage). Problem is... they always want reassurance that you'll still be there waiting, even though they're not jumping!! Sounds like you're tired of being a mattress, I completely understand.

[Gwyneth]

So NOW you believe in "the script"?

 

I always have, and never said I didn't. I have known the script since I'm 14 years old!

[Owl]

No offense, Gwen, but then why didn't the script apply in YOUR situation as well?

 

You would have avoided the sitaution you're in today if you'd have recognized that he was following the script to a T (and listened to the advice here of those who did).

 

I know that hindsight is 20/20. But I don't understand how someone who's known how this all works out then proceeds to get involved in an affair herself?

 

I don't buy the "we couldn't help ourselves" defense. It was a CHOICE...and you discussed your choices here on LS...what prevented you from making the RIGHT choice then?

[HeatherK08]

I've received several emails and voicemails from him stating generally something like this:

 

I know what you're doing, and I understand why you're doing it. And although it pains me, because you are my best friend and I love you deeply and need you, just know that I am working as quickly as possible to resolve the issues in my marriage, through counseling, sometimes 2 times a week, to see if there is no possible way to salvage some kind of mediocre existence of living my life as it is, without you, to preserve my family, and my religious beliefs, and to avoid completely crushing a woman I loved a long time ago who is still my friend and mother of my children. I'm sorry I didn't let you know before how much attention and concern I was giving the situation, please forgive me for putting you through this. I do believe, after all of this, that we can be together the way we want to. To share a life, raise our children and take care of eachother the way we should be. Don't ever doubt that I want that, badly. Please do not close your heart to me in the meantime - I could not give you assurance either way, because I myself do not know what will ultimately happen, but it will happen soon, one way or the other. Please know that I will always love you. When things have come to some kind of resolve, I will contact you and hopefully you will not hate me, etc etc.

 

Of course it was upsetting to hear these words and not be able to reassure him that if he were to leave his W, I would be here for him. I think he knows that though, through the many conversations we've had. For some reason I am relieved to hear that they are going to counseling and are working for a resolution. They were having major problems way before I came into the picture. I think he realizes what love really is and what a marriage should be like, and now that he knows, it's going to be extremely hard to settle for what he's had, which has made him miserable. Either way I would really like to get a final answer you know? Whether it goes my way or not, it would just be a help in order to move on.

 

I went on a date last week, my heart wasn't in it but I felt like I had to at least start making the motions towards moving on. I still love him so much.

[White Flower]

Wow, HeatherK08!

 

Those could have been my IMs and emails. He says he loves me but he cares for his W. It felt awesome and reassuring hearing it, but later I couldn't help but to ask myself, "Does he care for her more than he loves me?" It is hard to say. I do feel he would have a gaping whole in his heart if we parted but he would be surrounded with the comfort of his home and family just like your guy.

 

I really feel for you yet it's hard to believe there is so much love in only 4 short months! Anyway, I hope it all goes your way. Good luck with the NC and keep us posted.

 

PS

Since you are so young and beautiful, I thought I'd ask you how it is you found this MM to be (I don't know if you call him) your soul mate and do you think there is a strong attraction to him because of him being married or you just never found such a connection with a SG?

[HeatherK08]

Wow, HeatherK08!

 

Those could have been my IMs and emails. He says he loves me but he cares for his W. It felt awesome and reassuring hearing it, but later I couldn't help but to ask myself, "Does he care for her more than he loves me?" It is hard to say. I do feel he would have a gaping whole in his heart if we parted but he would be surrounded with the comfort of his home and family just like your guy.

 

I really feel for you yet it's hard to believe there is so much love in only 4 short months! Anyway, I hope it all goes your way. Good luck with the NC and keep us posted.

 

PS

Since you are so young and beautiful, I thought I'd ask you how it is you found this MM to be (I don't know if you call him) your soul mate and do you think there is a strong attraction to him because of him being married or you just never found such a connection with a SG?

 

I am, but I've had a hell of a life WF - I myself am divorced, married young and was in a religious union as well. It's not only being married, but married to a concept that you have to keep it all together, or you're going to hell. Can you imagine falling in love with a married rabbi or priest? He is not that strict, but the community and feelings of religious morals is what holds him back from making the impuslive (I mean 4 months really) decision to leave. Who can blame him? I don't.

 

I've had one very long relationship with my XH (12 years) and one with my recent XBF(2 years) and have dated...alot...in between. I know quality when I see it. This is no player. I am too snoopy and too aware of 'players' and he's passed all th tests. He's a genuine nerdy do gooder who lives life racked with guilt at the smallest infractions.

 

I knew him a year before we started the A, we couldn't even have sex in the beginning because we respected eachother so much and the love was overwhelming, we just held eachother for hours.

 

I know he 'cares' for her and I know what you mean, I mean on the one hand a 'great' guy wouldn't 'hurt' his W to be with someone else right? But this 'great' guy and his W have been miserable for years (and btw she's very overweight and unattractive) and he has been in therapy on his own to work out his own issues - this is someone who's been trying to change his life for a while, so it's not all about me and our A. It's a LOT to think about, they have 3 small kids - how will visitation work, where will we all live, how will our children get along, how long would it take me to convert to Judaism, how will he feel if she starts another R?, how will we all get along?

 

I see alot of people on this board jump on these things like they are 'excuses' - hell to the no, they are not just excuses. You would know if you've ever been through a D. It's really major stuff. My XH tried to take my children away, dragged out our court dates and lawyers fees, wouldn't agree to child support right away, it was awful, the fighting, etc., and believe it or not I still had left over feelings for that A#%hole! It's not always as easy as 'If you love me you'll get a D'. That's so immature and near sighted. Should an A be dragged out for years and years? I don't think so...I think all the cards should be layed out, but everyone is different and has their own circumstances. I, for one, would not be ready to receive him were he to say he's leaving her tonight. I have my own life in motion and there are TWO lives to be integrated, not just me into his.

 

What made me go NC was the pain of when I was with him, it was only temporary, and that he has gone back to not telling his W when we were together (he had been telling her everything the first 3 months), so I felt like I needed to give him the space to work out his life.

[Storyrider]

I realize you both love each other, but if you're familiar with his situation you must know how hard it is to live the lifestyle of an Orthodox Jew.

 

Would he expect you to quit work and parent all the children? Would you have to keep kosher and keep the sabbath? Go to the mikvah, shave your head and wear a wig? How would he feel about birth control?

 

You stated you're not religious, but the quotes from him indicate that he expects a religious future with you. Is that realistic? Would you want that for yourself? If not, when the passion fades and real life sets in, you will resent him. If it wouldn't work, why put both of you through any more pain and struggle?

 

I am a Reform Jew married to an extremely religious Catholic and it puts a tremendous strain on our marriage.

[HeatherK08]

I realize you both love each other, but if you're familiar with his situation you must know how hard it is to live the lifestyle of an Orthodox Jew.

 

Would he expect you to quit work and parent all the children? Would you have to keep kosher and keep the sabbath? Go to the mikvah, shave your head and wear a wig?

 

You stated you're not religious, but the quotes from him indicate that he expects a religious future with you. Is that realistic? Would you want that for yourself? If not, when the passion fades and real life sets in, you will resent him. If it wouldn't work, why put both of you through the pain?

 

 

I am a Reform Jew married to an extremely religious Catholic and it puts a tremendous strain on our marriage.

 

Wow. I can only imagine - are there support groups, I would imagine?

 

Yes, he would expect me to convert and keep kosher and observe all holidays, raise the children as Jewish, etc. No, he doesn't want me to quit my job (his W works). I would only go to the mikvah for my conversion, he does not observe the sexual rules (obviously) and no I don't have to shave my head. There are alot of things he does not observe, but he is very proud of his heritage.

 

I wasn't raised to believe in anything, but did get baptized as a Christian in 1999. It was a horrible experience and I left church in 2003. I've been reading up on all that the conversion would entail, and it does seem overwhelming, however the more I learn, the more I see how different (and kinder) it is from Christianity - and learning from him is so cool (I've always been the teacher in my relationships). It would provide me and my girls with more of a sense of family (observing the Sabbath), which we really kind of need (my girls are too grown for their age). Does he expect me to really believe in all of it? No. He is conflicted with his own beliefs and is generally a skeptic.

 

Funny thing is, my grandmother converted to Judaism for my grandfather, way back when. So, I am part Jewish, my mother being half and we used to celebrate the holidays when I was little.

[Storyrider]

Funny thing is, my grandmother converted to Judaism for my grandfather, way back when. So, I am part Jewish, my mother being half and we used to celebrate the holidays when I was little.

 

Actually, according to Reform Judaism and even Conservative Judaism (I think) you would be considered automatically Jewish, since Judaism is passed through the maternal line. However, the Orthodox do things differently.