Lyssa Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 it's a song, by Michale Stipe of REM and Coldplay (the theme song for Greys Anatomy).. I liked the song, but the words dawned on me yesterday and killed me last night... I can see it so clearly happening for her and it is so true for us... I was stuck in the middle of what she HOPED for and what was her REALITY Oh thanks! The words are pretty strong, yes. Owl, now I am going to agree with you. Come on, Stamp - you know in you that you didn't do anything wrong. If anything, it was the right thing to do. Imagine how much more damage she could have done, if you did not tell her H! Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedMM Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Wow, that took serious courage! I'm impressed! Hang in there man, and stay true to yourself. You WILL get through this, and you can move forward knowing you had the strength to handle this like a stand-up kind of guy! When you're ready(no hurry), get out there and find someone who deserves that kind of integrity. Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 My friend...you may feel sick...but you should also feel PROUD. You've "manned up". You rock. You don't feel like it right now...but you rock! Stick to it...you're going to have a rough few days...but quite honestly, yo're going to heal FASTER now. You can now wear the PROUd tag!!! Good for you, stampdaddy And don't let the girl make you feel bad about telling her H either. She will if she can, make you feel bad. Many times i threatened MM that I'd tell his wife, but then I figured it would somehow come back to haunt me or she'd attack me or something like that. So, I just let it go. But good for you for finding the courage!!! Very, Very, VERY proud of you Link to post Share on other sites
Gwyneth Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 She is supposed to go to Florida with a friend next week (to get away). I feel so horrible.. this song has been racking through my heart and head: In The Sun (song from REM) I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy And being caught in between all you wish for and all you’ve seen And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in May God's love be with you Always May God's love be with you I know i would apologize if i could see in your eyes 'Cause when you showed me myself, you know, i became someone else But i was caught in between all you wish for and all you need I picture you fast asleep A nightmare comes You can't keep awake May God's love be with you Always May God's love be with you 'Cause if i find If i find my own way How much will i find If i find If i find my own way How much will i find You, You will I find You, YOU?? I don't know anymore What it's for I'm not even sure If there is anyone who is in the sun Will you help me to understand 'Cause i been caught in between all you wish for and all you need Maybe you're not even sure what it's for Any more than me May God's love be with you Always May God's love be with you Always, Always, May God’s love be with you, Always, Always, May God’s love be with you Last time I spoke to MM and we had an argument, I told him "It's too late to apologize," quoting the song from OneRepublic. Good choice with REM Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 You can now wear the PROUd tag!!! Good for you, stampdaddy And don't let the girl make you feel bad about telling her H either. She will if she can, make you feel bad. Many times i threatened MM that I'd tell his wife, but then I figured it would somehow come back to haunt me or she'd attack me or something like that. So, I just let it go. But good for you for finding the courage!!! Very, Very, VERY proud of you I HAD to... I mean, if you could have heard some of the things she was saying... She said her IC said "don't tell the truth to your H".. and she wanted me to change the phone number to keep him guessing, BUT knowing.. F that.. It was time.. I hope it helped HIM... We are left to pay for this, though, and I am struggling Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 Last time I spoke to MM and we had an argument, I told him "It's too late to apologize," quoting the song from OneRepublic. Good choice with REM Go to YouTube and listen to this song Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedMM Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I hope it helped HIM It HAD to have helped him quite a bit. I know it must have been horrible to hear the truth, but at this point he NEEDS the truth to ground him in reality. Not knowing FOR SURE is the worst, and now he can move on with HIS life one way or another. You set HIM free too, from a cycle of abuse. She needs help. Your affair was enabling and compounding her problems. It really did her no good at all for the long term. She needs to figure out why and how she could do this to 2 human beings, and herself. Totally destructive behavior. You were stuck, not able to move forward nor backward. You have taken the most effective step I can think of to set yourself free, and as I see it, you did the one thing most likely to set all 3 of you on the path to healing. I gotta repeat myself and congratulate you for having the strength and ethics to do this! Your doing this is inspiring to me, and a reminder that not ALL of humanity is a sociopathic mess! Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 It HAD to have helped him quite a bit. I know it must have been horrible to hear the truth, but at this point he NEEDS the truth to ground him in reality. Not knowing FOR SURE is the worst, and now he can move on with HIS life one way or another. You set HIM free too, from a cycle of abuse. She needs help. Your affair was enabling and compounding her problems. It really did her no good at all for the long term. She needs to figure out why and how she could do this to 2 human beings, and herself. Totally destructive behavior. You were stuck, not able to move forward nor backward. You have taken the most effective step I can think of to set yourself free, and as I see it, you did the one thing most likely to set all 3 of you on the path to healing. I gotta repeat myself and congratulate you for having the strength and ethics to do this! Your doing this is inspiring to me, and a reminder that not ALL of humanity is a sociopathic mess! I AM struggling with SO MUCH.. I felt like I betrayed HER, I feel like I have F***d HIM, and HIS CHILDREN, and me and MY CHILDREN that know her, and I sure hope I live a long time, because it will take many, many lifetimes of me asking God for forgiveness.. I prayed the very night I met her, "God, I do not want an affair, but than You for allowing me to meet one of your most beautiful Angels...." look how ugly she is now... Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 and I also don't know if it was "enough of the truth".. But from ME, that is all he'll get.. the rest is up to THEM Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 You can now wear the PROUd tag!!! Good for you, stampdaddy And don't let the girl make you feel bad about telling her H either. She will if she can, make you feel bad. Many times i threatened MM that I'd tell his wife, but then I figured it would somehow come back to haunt me or she'd attack me or something like that. So, I just let it go. But good for you for finding the courage!!! Very, Very, VERY proud of you I was "waiting" for something bad.. I kept baseball bats strategically placed around my house.. Waiting for the guy to snap.. so I hit it head on.. gave him the answer. He seemed suprised. Boy was she a good liar.. I am so proud of her Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Are you going to talk to him again? If he calls and wants to talk? Yes, she is/was a good liar. I don't think she knows what the truth is, or what she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I AM struggling with SO MUCH.. I felt like I betrayed HER, I feel like I have F***d HIM, and HIS CHILDREN, and me and MY CHILDREN that know her, and I sure hope I live a long time, because it will take many, many lifetimes of me asking God for forgiveness.. I prayed the very night I met her, "God, I do not want an affair, but than You for allowing me to meet one of your most beautiful Angels...." look how ugly she is now... Stamp..Your beign to hard on yourself.. I know this is tough. however you can manage this..it just takes time!. You did the right thing, really you did. Try and take comfort in the fact that your headed in the right direction to move away from all the pain in your heart. your working toward's closure. ((hug's)) AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 Are you going to talk to him again? If he calls and wants to talk? Yes, she is/was a good liar. I don't think she knows what the truth is, or what she wants. YES, I will talk, IF he calls.. but I doubt he does.. There is SO much.. But at this point, for ME, what does it matter.... So, I will not call him again Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 Stamp..Your beign to hard on yourself.. I know this is tough. however you can manage this..it just takes time!. You did the right thing, really you did. Try and take comfort in the fact that your headed in the right direction to move away from all the pain in your heart. your working toward's closure. ((hug's)) AP:) I am not being too hard on myself.. My heart is absolutely broken.. All of my "beliefs" in US are shattered.. there were so many "miracles of US" that are for shi*.. OR, are they real?? I dont know anymore.. I know that everytime I tried to "speculate" what would happen, I was wrong.. SO, I would love to speculate that this will rock her world, just like the lyrics of that song say, BUT, who the hell knows.. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I am not being too hard on myself.. My heart is absolutely broken.. All of my "beliefs" in US are shattered.. there were so many "miracles of US" that are for shi*.. OR, are they real?? I dont know anymore.. I know that everytime I tried to "speculate" what would happen, I was wrong.. SO, I would love to speculate that this will rock her world, just like the lyrics of that song say, BUT, who the hell knows.. I know your heart is broken.. believe me I have been there in my own way, ..it's no fun and it really hurt's. Gosh.. Stamp it will be ok. All I was trying to say is don't place all the balme on yourself.. that will just make it worse. AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 I know your heart is broken.. believe me I have been there in my own way, ..it's no fun and it really hurt's. Gosh.. Stamp it will be ok. All I was trying to say is don't place all the balme on yourself.. that will just make it worse. AP:) I know Sweetie.. sorry... I WILL be OK, just alot to sort out.. I hate this, trying to decipher what was "real" and what "was'nt".. I believed in SO MUCH.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 I mean, EVERY DAY, I wrote her a beautiful "chalkboard", a quote, a poem, a simple "I love you", OR like today, 'Happy Birthday, Sweetgirl"... so much, so many routines that have just slammed shut on me... I loved her EVERYDAY, in EVERY WAY.. I hate turning this around to hate her Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I know Sweetie.. sorry... I WILL be OK, just alot to sort out.. I hate this, trying to decipher what was "real" and what "was'nt".. I believed in SO MUCH.. I understand... and honestly Stamp.. the more you try to decipher what was real and what was not the more you will drive yourself crazy. I did it.. I know.. and then you will be beating yourself for wasting your time. No really.. just take each day as best you can.. you will figure this out.. I just know you will. AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I mean, EVERY DAY, I wrote her a beautiful "chalkboard", a quote, a poem, a simple "I love you", OR like today, 'Happy Birthday, Sweetgirl"... so much, so many routines that have just slammed shut on me... I loved her EVERYDAY, in EVERY WAY.. I hate turning this around to hate her Stampylicious or Stampynauseous - whichever you're feeling today - I can assure you that getting over someone is NOT easy. You loved this woman with all you had and how did she love you in return? By lying to you... so really, think about that. Think about all the lies and what she did to hurt your feelings - you'll end up being angry at her and slowly, you'll get over her. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedMM Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 He seemed suprised. I bet he desperately wanted to believe her lies. If he was calling and calling, he was certainly smelling a rat, his head knew, but his heart didn't want it to be so. You didn't screw him by telling him the truth. Rather, by telling him the truth and being determined to end the madness, you have finally stopped screwing him. You didn't betray her, SHE betrayed her husband, kids, etc. by having an affair, and in the end I guess she betrayed you too, right? She was certainly lying to you too you know, maybe not AS MUCH as at home, but you didn't get the truth. Exit affair? Bull. You simply stopped enabling her. An angel? Wow! She sure had you fooled! She must have her song and dance well rehearsed! Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 I bet he desperately wanted to believe her lies. If he was calling and calling, he was certainly smelling a rat, his head knew, but his heart didn't want it to be so. You didn't screw him by telling him the truth. Rather, by telling him the truth and being determined to end the madness, you have finally stopped screwing him. You didn't betray her, SHE betrayed her husband, kids, etc. by having an affair, and in the end I guess she betrayed you too, right? She was certainly lying to you too you know, maybe not AS MUCH as at home, but you didn't get the truth. Exit affair? Bull. You simply stopped enabling her. An angel? Wow! She sure had you fooled! She must have her song and dance well rehearsed! it is what i believed Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedMM Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I hear ya. I can understand that. One thing you do know was real - your feelings were. It's easy to underestimate the deceptiveness of an adulterer. I don't mean to be hard on you, just trying to help you understand. Looking at it from the other side of the equation helps give you some insight into what happened. It's mind boggling that someone could be so cold yet give every appearance of warmth, but, that's exactly how it is. It's going to be hard to wrap your mind around that part. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 God bless you Stampdaddy. Forgive her of all the wrong she has done and perhaps it will get easier for you. I will keep you in my prayers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stampdaddy Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 God bless you Stampdaddy. Forgive her of all the wrong she has done and perhaps it will get easier for you. I will keep you in my prayers. Thank you, that is very sweet of you to say.... I will forgive her, someday Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Red Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Thinking bout you S.Daddy Here's a hug from me...& my cat. ((HUG)) =^-^= Link to post Share on other sites
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