My boyfriend is going to Las Vegas..and it scares me

[Lauriebell82]

Glad to hear that. You're welcome. You dealt with it right away, he reacted in an empathetic manner and things didn't escalate.

 

I see improvement in your communication style. This is good.

 

Yeah, since we had those huge fights during Christmas we realized that we were having a problem communicating. So we made a pact that if something was on our mind-or we could tell something was on the other person's mind-we would bring it up, not in a mean way but just try to work it out. And the other person would react in an understanding and non-judgemental way, even if they disagreed. And if things started to get heated or we felt like we were going to blow up we would take a time out to calm down before talking some more. And it has worked. We haven't had one fight at all since mid December!

[Star Gazer]

Hey LB, I don't know how I missed your thread!

 

Anyway. A few thoughts here.

 

First, your BF actually WILL be looking at women if he goes to a strip club. Yup. But that doesn't mean he'll touch, or even want to! Like you said, he's never given you any reason not to trust him.

 

Second, you gotta admit that your BF is a little uptight sexually. Maybe not in private, but in public he is (the whole lube thing, "that's your department" and whatnot....). As such, I doubt he'd even be interested in anything overtly naughty. Know what I mean?

 

That all having been said - I think it's GREAT that you've been able to talk about this. We've all witnessed soooo much improvement in your communication and relationship skills, it's fabulous!!

[Lauriebell82]

Hey LB, I don't know how I missed your thread!

 

Anyway. A few thoughts here.

 

First, your BF actually WILL be looking at women if he goes to a strip club. Yup. But that doesn't mean he'll touch, or even want to! Like you said, he's never given you any reason not to trust him.

 

Second, you gotta admit that your BF is a little uptight sexually. Maybe not in private, but in public he is (the whole lube thing, "that's your department" and whatnot....). As such, I doubt he'd even be interested in anything overtly naughty. Know what I mean?

 

That all having been said - I think it's GREAT that you've been able to talk about this. We've all witnessed soooo much improvement in your communication and relationship skills, it's fabulous!!

 

Thanks SG! Yeah I think I was being paranoid. Your right that he is sexually uptight..I highly doubt he'd try to go pick up some girl in Vegas even if he was single! He's not really the type of guy who just goes up to girls and hits on them randomly. Actually he's had less sexual partners then I have and he's 26!

 

Thanks for the encouragement, we have been able to communicate better these last few months! Maybe all the fights in December helped our relationship because we were able to find a better way of dealing with our problems. And of course I have learned a lot from all you guys as well!

[Lishy]

LB I wonder why you felt so stressed over this when you profess you trust him so much. I fear that deep down you don't trust him OR you have insecurity issues that made you feel he would find someone better in Vegas.

 

The bottom line is this honey, no matter where he is in the world, if he wanted to cheat he would and you worrying about it would not change it!

 

You are having a LDR aren't you? That must show high levels of trust or you would be a big bag of worries.

 

Why dont you book time away with the girls when he is away?

[Lauriebell82]

LB I wonder why you felt so stressed over this when you profess you trust him so much. I fear that deep down you don't trust him OR you have insecurity issues that made you feel he would find someone better in Vegas.

 

The bottom line is this honey, no matter where he is in the world, if he wanted to cheat he would and you worrying about it would not change it!

 

You are having a LDR aren't you? That must show high levels of trust or you would be a big bag of worries.

 

Why dont you book time away with the girls when he is away?

 

I think it's more of the insecurity that has me worried. After our talk, I feel much better about the whole thing. Yes, we are in a LDR where we see each other on weekends during the semester. We usually spend the whole weekend together so the only time we are apart is during the week and we are both working a lot (me at internship, him at his accounting job). The insecurity is getting so much better though. It's getting less and less all the time. I think mainly because our communication improved a lot, so we talk about issues that arise.

 

I'm going to try not to worry so much about the whole Vegas thing..it's not like he's going to hook up with hot girls, he's just going for his friend's bachelor party. That's a good idea though Lishy, maybe I'll see about getting some of my friends together to do something the time he is gone. We will be living together by then, so it will maybe be good for us both to have some time with our friends.

[dropdeadlegs]

Hey LB!

 

Your BF is a clean freak. He wouldn't touch another woman without verifying her cleanliness! I doubt a few days in Vegas would convince him of her worthiness.

 

You freaked out a bit, but it's good that you see that it's about you, not him.

 

Take care, girl.

[AriaIncognito]

I think people have this impression of vegas that you land in the airport and right after you walk through the slot machines to get your luggage, they also assign you a hooker or something lol. I went to vegas and well, vegas is only as crazy as you want it to be. If your bf isn't the type to cheat on you in normal life, I highly doubt he'd turn into some other person just because he's in Vegas.

 

I went with a girlfriend of mine back when I was in a relationship with a guy. She and I had planned it before he was in my life. I didn't cheat on him with someone, didn't even look. If you're not the cheating kind, vegas isn't going to turn you into one.

 

Just my 2 cents.

[RecordProducer]

I would go crazy at the mention of Vegas!

Why is this?

Because he will be having fun without you and that fun will include going bananas with cheap women. How would HE feel if you went on a trip with your girlfriend to the Sin City?

[Mary3]

Vegas strip clubs are a form of entertainment for men.

 

Men are visual ...unlike women we dont get turned on as much by seeing something as much as we might feeling something...

 

The strippers take all their clothes off except their panties ( some clubs fully nude~ no panties ) Men throw dollars so the women will get down on her knees and wiggle her breasts.

 

For almost all men its a form of distraction. Most are married , and go back home to their wives. Strippers are paid great money to girate in front of the men. As much as $ 1,000 a night so you can imagine what they will do on stage.

 

Then they have the VIP Private rooms where the stripper does a lap dance . The customer pays $ 20 or so and the girl sits on his lap and rubs herself all over him. It lasts about 10 minutes , more or less.

 

Now if your boyfriend is given a stripper and 99% of bachelor parties ( at least in vegas ) the stripper performs for him . Listen . She is doing her job. Her job is to work up your boyfriend. She gets lots of $$$ the more she does that.

 

She is a professional. She is not going to cheat with your boyfriend. She might work him up a bit and the guy friends will LOVE that. Thats what a bachelor party is mostly all about in vegas.

 

Don't worry. He likely will be so embarrassed...

[RecordProducer]

Then they have the VIP Private rooms where the stripper does a lap dance . The customer pays $ 20 or so and the girl sits on his lap and rubs herself all over him. It lasts about 10 minutes , more or less.

Only $20? I want to get a lap dance! Mary, are you pulling these price tags out of your bottox?

She is a professional. She is not going to cheat with your boyfriend.

The stripper won't, but the hooker will! And Vegas is their most profitable nest.

 

Thats what a bachelor party is mostly all about in vegas.

I'd say strippers are just there to warm them up for the real deal. I am not saying her BF will have sex, but many LV bachelor-party attendees will.

 

Don't worry. He likely will be so embarrassed.

[Mary3]

Only $20? I want to get a lap dance! Mary, are you pulling these price tags out of your bottox?

The stripper won't, but the hooker will! And Vegas is their most profitable nest.

 

I'd say strippers are just there to warm them up for the real deal. I am not saying her BF will have sex, but many LV bachelor-party attendees will.

 

RP ! How are you doing beautiful lady ?

 

Well I think its around 20 for a lap dance .

 

The stripper won't but the hooker will.....But why would OP's bf want a hooker when he has HER at home waiting. I think most of the hookers customers are either married men or lonely men who will pay for sex.

 

Well if the stripper works up all the guys do you think they will go look for a hooker ? If the guys are all in relationships I doubt it. Rather they would wank it later in the night alone in their hotel rooms ( I hope , lol )

[RecordProducer]

RP ! How are you doing beautiful lady ?

I am ok... kinda... I guess...

 

But why would OP's bf want a hooker when he has HER at home waiting.

Well, she said he wouldn't cheat so that's not an issue. But I can see how it bothers her that he will be watching some strippers and droolling over them. I'd be crushed.

 

P.S. I am packing my bags (with lots of $20 bills) and flying to Vegas.

[Jilly Bean]

I think people have this impression of vegas that you land in the airport and right after you walk through the slot machines to get your luggage, they also assign you a hooker or something lol. I went to vegas and well, vegas is only as crazy as you want it to be. If your bf isn't the type to cheat on you in normal life, I highly doubt he'd turn into some other person just because he's in Vegas.quote]

 

This is very true. I was in Vegas three times in the span of 5 weeks last summer. Once was for my birthday (insane, huge party weekend), then for my Dad's birthday (whole family was there, had a wonderful dinner, saw a show - very mellow and lovely) and then again with a BF (a little crazy, but only as far as what he and I did together - lol).

 

Vegas is what you make of it.

 

But, LB, looking at the pic of your BF and knowing how squeamish he is about sex even with you, I don't picture him cheating. The worst that happens is he gets a few lap dances while being peer-pressured from the guys. And if hes a gentleman, he will have washed her cooch smell off his jeans before he sees you next...

[Lauriebell82]

Ahhh too much talk about strippers and hookers here! Anyway, he has been to a strip club, he went for my best frien's now-husband's bachleor party. Actually I went to a male strip club so we've both been to one. I don't think strippers are his thing or hookers at ALL.

 

And dropdead legs is right, he is a total neat freak so I don't think some sweaty nasty stripper would be a real turn on for him. And he loves me and would NEVER cheat and I know this.

[Ariadne]

Ahhh too much talk about strippers and hookers here! Anyway, he has been to a strip club, he went for my best frien's now-husband's bachleor party. Actually I went to a male strip club so we've both been to one. I don't think strippers are his thing or hookers at ALL.

 

And dropdead legs is right, he is a total neat freak so I don't think some sweaty nasty stripper would be a real turn on for him. And he loves me and would NEVER cheat and I know this.

 

You are uncomfortable because being a counselor you are at odds with the word "freedom".

 

Counseling is not about letting people be free, but instead, is all about control.

 

He is going some place that you feel you won't be able to control.

[Pyro]

I would go crazy at the mention of Vegas! :sick:Because he will be having fun without you and that fun will include going bananas with cheap women. How would HE feel if you went on a trip with your girlfriend to the Sin City?

 

There are other things to do in Vegas other then what you mentioned. He is going for a bachelor party, so a trip to Vegas doesn't always automatically mean "going bananas with cheap women".

 

Going bananas with cheap women can happen anywhere.

[Lauriebell82]

There are other things to do in Vegas other then what you mentioned. He is going for a bachelor party, so a trip to Vegas doesn't always automatically mean "going bananas with cheap women".

 

Going bananas with cheap women can happen anywhere.

 

Yeah, I really don't think the purpose of the whole trip is to pick up a bunch of women. Only one of his other friends who are going are single, and he's actually recently divorced and still getting over it. And the other two have a gfs.

[Pyro]

Yeah, I really don't think the purpose of the whole trip is to pick up a bunch of women. Only one of his other friends who are going are single, and he's actually recently divorced and still getting over it. And the other two have a gfs.

 

Exactly. The point of the trip is to celebrate his friend getting married.

[Mary3]

I am ok... kinda... I guess...

 

But why would OP's bf want a hooker when he has HER at home waiting.

Well, she said he wouldn't cheat so that's not an issue. But I can see how it bothers her that he will be watching some strippers and droolling over them. I'd be crushed.

 

P.S. I am packing my bags (with lots of $20 bills) and flying to Vegas.

 

So........you want lots of lap dances ! LOL:lmao:

[Rowen]

I went to vegas last august with my best buddy. We both were in committed long term relationships, and we were good boys. We both just stuck to gambling, drinking, and went to some shows, it was awesome.

 

Though at 4 am at the MGM slot floor, a hooker came up to me.. she asked how much money I had.. I said "10 bucks get me much " and she walked away and i stumbled back to my room laughing!

[Lauriebell82]

I went to vegas last august with my best buddy. We both were in committed long term relationships, and we were good boys. We both just stuck to gambling, drinking, and went to some shows, it was awesome.

 

Though at 4 am at the MGM slot floor, a hooker came up to me.. she asked how much money I had.. I said "10 bucks get me much " and she walked away and i stumbled back to my room laughing!

 

Thanks, that makes me feel a little better. I'm not much worried about the hooker, my bf is such a clean freak that he'd never let a hooker anywhere near him even if he was single. He'd probably have to desanitizer to let her even talk to him! lol

 

He's so conservative also, that I think he'd be too embarrassed/shy to even talk to a stripper/hooker. He knows I'm a little worried, so this weekend he suprised me by taking me skiing on Saturday night. He told me I have nothing to worry about, that I am the only girl for him and always will be! I almost started crying!!! i didn't want to leave him last night, I was so sad because we had such an awesome weekend together.

[twice_shy]

So my bf is a groomsman in his friend's wedding and he just told me that they (my bf and two other guys) are planning on taking him to Las Vegas for his bachelor party. That means casinos, bars, strip clubs, ect. Ugh, I trust my bf completely and know he would never cheat on me or anything but I'm still freaked out/scared. Why is this?

 

Because an all guys, or all girls, trip to Vegas without their significant others is usually nothing but trouble and there is a reason they don't want their SO's to go with them.

 

Now I realize this is a bachelor party, hence the reason its just the guys, but still. Its that whole, "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" thing.

 

I know that isn't the case with everyone, but in my experience, trips like this to Vegas, in general, are not exactly innocent.

 

Maybe after this bachelor party, why don't you get a few of your girlfriends to agree to a girls weekend in Vegas sometime? I bet he will question your motive for wanting to go.

[RecordProducer]

And the other two have gfs.

If those two are faithful, then your BF won't experience any pressure from them to join them in whatever dirty endeavors. However, if they are not faithful, they might try to influence him, which doesn't mean he would succumb to their persuasions.

 

The point of the trip is to celebrate his friend getting married.

No, the point is HOW they intend to celebrate it.

 

Because an all guys, or all girls, trip to Vegas without their significant others is usually nothing but trouble and there is a reason they don't want their SO's to go with them.

I agree.

 

I know that isn't the case with everyone, but in my experience, trips like this to Vegas, in general, are not exactly innocent.

The point is that Vegas offers all these pleasures (prostitution is legal only in Nevada) and we know that the guys who fly there to celebrate a bachelor's party don't go for the gambling or the wonderful musical shows.

 

Maybe after this bachelor party, why don't you get a few of your girlfriends to agree to a girls weekend in Vegas sometime? I bet he will question your motive for wanting to go.

No, the equivalent would be a singles cruise.

[Lauriebell82]

Ugh, the last 2 posts kind of freaked me out. The other two guys are in committed relationships as well, so I don't think there is a possibility of cheating. Also I know both of them, and I know they would never pressure my bf to do anything to betray me. And nobody would even be able to pressure him anyway to cheat. Yeah, I realize that they are going to go to strip clubs, doesn't mean he's going to hook up with some stripper or hooker. Man, now Im all freaked out again.

[Lishy]

Oh dont let people freak you out babe, they do not know your boyfriend and probably feel how they do due to past experiences.

 

Hey listen to me, how will worrying about what MAY happen help? If your boyfriend wanted to cheat he wouldnt have to go to Vegas to do it, most men have affairs at work!

 

You must just trust him LB - It is your only option unless you are willing to break up over what you THINK could happen.

 

Just chill and don't worry - I am sure you have nothing to worry about - And if you did then he would not be worth worrying over!