Pyro Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Ugh, the last 2 posts kind of freaked me out. The other two guys are in committed relationships as well, so I don't think there is a possibility of cheating. Also I know both of them, and I know they would never pressure my bf to do anything to betray me. And nobody would even be able to pressure him anyway to cheat. Yeah, I realize that they are going to go to strip clubs, doesn't mean he's going to hook up with some stripper or hooker. Man, now Im all freaked out again. No reason to freak out. You know your BF better than anyone else. If he was going to cheat, then some sort of red flag would be exposed. You'll be fine and he'll be fine. Nothing to worry about anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Okay LB - DON'T FREAK OUT!!! Everything will be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
electric_sheep Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Geez, all you people should stop getting on her for not trusting her bf. I think even the most trusting person in the world would be slightly worried about this. Her unease is entirely normal, and it doesn't mean she doesn't trust her boyfriend. Trust is a spectrum, not an on/off switch. What is trust for, anyway? I think it's just a practical way to shut off the "worry-circuit", basically. You never know if it was justified or not till after the fact. It's like faith in that regard, and even Saint Paul had his doubts. Anyway, it sounds like you have a healthy relationship, so I'd just try and trust him the best you can. After all, what's the alternative? To worry? That's no fun, and it accomplishes nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted March 4, 2008 Author Share Posted March 4, 2008 Thanks for the reassurance guys!! I think I may have posted about this before but last year he went on a business trip and went some casino with his work buddies and got totally trashed. He called me at like 3 am drunk and said how much he missed me and loved me and that he thought I was so much hotter than all of the girls that he saw at the casino. So I'm pretty sure that's what will probably end up happening on his trip. So I know thats usually what happens when he gets drunk, he thinks about me and how much he loves me. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Hey LB, I think you have nothing to worry about. I just wanted to point something out. Your bf is very sensitive to how you two interact over various issues in the relationship. Be very careful in how you talk to him regarding this Vegas trip. You don't want him to feel like you're nagging, controlling or lacking trust. Do your best to make this a positive experience for your bf. I'm afraid that if you bring up your concerns too much (even unknowingly) it will make your bf shy away from moving forward with the relationship. This is nothing negative against your bf, but he seems like he could get a little freaked if he sees that you're uneasy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted March 4, 2008 Author Share Posted March 4, 2008 Hey LB, I think you have nothing to worry about. I just wanted to point something out. Your bf is very sensitive to how you two interact over various issues in the relationship. Be very careful in how you talk to him regarding this Vegas trip. You don't want him to feel like you're nagging, controlling or lacking trust. Do your best to make this a positive experience for your bf. I'm afraid that if you bring up your concerns too much (even unknowingly) it will make your bf shy away from moving forward with the relationship. This is nothing negative against your bf, but he seems like he could get a little freaked if he sees that you're uneasy. Yeah, actually the happened a tad over the weekend. He is very sensitive about nagging and stuff. So I really did try to not be all winy and naggy about it. He didn't snap at me or anything, but he did say for me to "stop worrying over nothing" and said it in kind of an annoyed type tone, which I took as a cue to stop pushing the issue. And he definately wouldn't like me trying to control what he does or doesn't do. (Which I wouldn't try to do anyway). But he does like his freedom and enjoys being able to do things he wants to do, which is ok with me because he likes to give me time with my friends and to do things I want to do as well. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Laurie, your BF sounds totally OK and shut up already! Seriously though, don't worry. We were just talking about bachelor parties and peer pressure in general. It's totally not about Vegas in this case, it's about whether he is a faithful type or not and whether your relationship is strong. If yes, then relax, and wish him a happy trip. If no, then you have bigger problems than Vegas. By the way, I think it's good that you expressed your concern, because now it's instilled in his mind that he would hurt you a lot if he accidentally let control slip out of his hands while intoxicated. People care very much about how they feel about themselves; so if you tell someone "If you cheat on me, you will be a major jerk/break my heart," they tend to wish to prove to themselves that they are not jerks. On another note, don't be too clingy. Men turn from sweet lovebirds into annoyed macho-jerks in blink of an eye when they sense that you love them 100%. Be self-confident, self-sufficient, cheerful, and laid back at any point. He always needs to fight for you at least a little bit, but not in any negative way. Simply, don't be always ready to jump at the snap of his fingers and don't show any insecurities. It's not playing games, it's creating good conditions for a healthy relationship. As my mom said, "Men are not your social workers, they don't want to hear you complain and see your weaknesses." Unfortunately, I learned that the hard way. Link to post Share on other sites
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