nashua Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Would most of you consider yourselves happy? What is happiness? I feel so negative all of the time, and I blame it on being a New Yorker and growing up with that New Yorker mentality. But I want to feel happy. What can I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 (edited) Would most of you consider yourselves happy? What is happiness? I feel so negative all of the time, and I blame it on being a New Yorker and growing up with that New Yorker mentality. But I want to feel happy. What can I do? I definitely consider myself to be happy. Happiness to me is looking at the world as it being a half full bottle and not half empty. Instead of having a bad situation and complain about it, you make the best of it. You realize that life isn't always fair and things won't always turn out how you want them to, but you accept it and you try again or you try something different. You don't have to rely on another person to get yourself through the day. You don't let someone elses words hurt you or effect you in a negative way. That is just some of what I consider happiness to be. Edited February 28, 2008 by Pyro Link to post Share on other sites
confused2007 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 As Pyro stated, it's being able to look at situation, no matter how bad, and finding positive in it. It's a trained state of mentality. I think you can truly train your brain to do anything. To train it to be happy, well, you might want to examine the environment you live in/around first. Or the people you hang around for that matter. Happiness is a choice that can be conditioned. Good question Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 It is possible to train yourself to be happy. I am a living and breathing example. Link to post Share on other sites
confused2007 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 But, like anything else (Well at least for me), it took practice until it really sunk in and ran on autopilot. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 (edited) But, like anything else (Well at least for me), it took practice until it really sunk in and ran on autopilot. Amen to that. I read a fantastic book and applied it to everyday life and it worked like a charm. The problem is that people expect instant results and when that doesn't happen, they get discouraged and give up. Thats another part of happiness, never getting discouraged. If you are down, you only have room to go up. Edited February 28, 2008 by Pyro Link to post Share on other sites
Space Marine Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 No, I wouldn't consider myself happy. Does growing up in NY have something to do with it? Damn, had I known, I would have convinced my parents to move when I was a kid. Seriously though, I can be completely negative without even meaning to be, but for the most part if I'm stuck on a problem in life, I'll sit and stew about it instead of taking care of it. This can only lead to unhappiness. I think a good solution to unhappiness is productivity. Now if only I could take my own advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nashua Posted February 28, 2008 Author Share Posted February 28, 2008 You're writing that it is possible. Please tell me how to begin the journey? What are some tips, what can i expect to happen, any advice! Thanks in advance Link to post Share on other sites
Space Marine Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Well for one thing, I don't know how old you are. Age is not a deciding factor in being happy, but experience certainly does help if you want to hold onto it once you've attained it. There have been times I've been happy in my life, and mostly it was because I made others happy, or I had someone special. Unfortunately, I'm kind of a dependent person in that way, but if I've been single long enough (which looks to be a possibility in the near future), I can manage without. Friends are very important. If you want to be happy with yourself, that's a bit trickier. The majority of humanity I'd say, is indeed very critical of itself, at any age. I think what Pyro says has a lot to do with being happy, ie: not giving up when you fail, and taking it slow. Also, I'd add Don't have any expectations. When you expect something from yourself or others and you don't even come remotely close, you're going to feel bad. A better question is: Why is Space Marine giving advice on being happy when he's unhappy? I guess I just know some happy people. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Would most of you consider yourselves happy? I do. I'm very energized and vibrant. What is happiness? It's a state. It happens when you let your heart take the lead. I feel so negative all of the time, and I blame it on being a New Yorker and growing up with that New Yorker mentality. But I want to feel happy. It sounds like you are just afraid. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 You're writing that it is possible. Please tell me how to begin the journey? What are some tips, what can i expect to happen, any advice! Thanks in advance Its hard to explain......... For starters don't take other peoples words personally and don't get your hopes up. Anything is possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Marine Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 AH, good reminder Adriane. I almost forgot that one of the reasons I'm unhappy is because I'm afraid that if I become completely happy, "fate" or some kind of "curse" that I am ridiculously superstitious about, will take it away immediately, and I will fall back down into the abyss. It really is all in my head, but no one ever said my head worked quite right. I don't know what advice to give if that's your situation, but occasional therapy might help (and of course, letting go and being happy regardless of fear. It won't bite). Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 I'm afraid that if I become completely happy, "fate" or some kind of "curse" that I am ridiculously superstitious about, will take it away immediately, and I will fall back down into the abyss. You can't control happiness, it just happens. Like love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nashua Posted February 28, 2008 Author Share Posted February 28, 2008 No, I wouldn't consider myself happy. Does growing up in NY have something to do with it? Damn, had I known, I would have convinced my parents to move when I was a kid. Ha...Cute. I dont mean to be judgemental of NY...i love it there, but as a NY'er you must lknow that we have an inherent edge...an edge that can and is considered negative. I'm 31, since you asked about age. when I asked about expectations, I meant what kind of work can I put in. What emotions might come up. How can I avoid falling back into the negative state? Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 when I asked about expectations, I meant what kind of work can I put in. What emotions might come up. How can I avoid falling back into the negative state? Thanks again. You give it your all, but don't expect things to come out perfect, but don't think that they will come out at their worst. In other words you try and remain as optimistic and realistic about the situation as you can. Through time and experiences you will learn how to not fall back into the negative state. Link to post Share on other sites
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