Marriage without God are limited

[luvstarved]

I do not understand why people are so quick to be confrontational about other people's beliefs and so certain that they know the truth about life and what works and what does not work, as if one size fits all.

 

I agreed with the OP despite my own lack of a religious foundation because I have observed this in my own life somewhat and also think it makes sense that if one has a true loving and "repentant" spirit and are willing to look into him/herself that it would definitely give their marriage an advantage toward greater fulfillment and intimacy.

 

I think that whatever makes us less selfish, more forgiving, more cherishing and appreciative of what we have is good stuff. Call it God or Higher Power or Baked Potato or the Right Thing To Do or the Inherent Fabulous Nature of You...if you have it, it's great, wherever it comes from.

[sunshinegirl]

I think that whatever makes us less selfish, more forgiving, more cherishing and appreciative of what we have is good stuff. Call it God or Higher Power or Baked Potato or the Right Thing To Do or the Inherent Fabulous Nature of You...if you have it, it's great, wherever it comes from.

 

Amen!

[mylovegrowsdeeper]

I think that each person is entitled to their own religion. If something works for you WONDERFUL, but I think people should also be open to the fact that there are religions outside of western culture where people feel they have found a gateway to the same sense of englightenment, peace, love, virtue etc etc as the Christian religion.

 

I agree, I have seen people under a certain faith have wonderful lasting marriages, just as I have seen them fall apart and end in the same ugliness and for the same ugly reasons as people who "don't have a God in their marriage".

 

While I have been taught differently at sunday school, life experience has taught me that charachter is a unique and completely untraceable factor in people's lives and the success of their relationships, not a religion.

[lovelorcet]

according to my personal observation, the Chinese couples who love each other deeply always are drawn to God, the number of believers is increasing amazingly in recent years, the churches are often overfilled

 

 

And that observation is going to be about as statistically unbiased Rush Limbaugh...

[lovelorcet]

God has nothing to do with a good Marriage. That is my belief. Why does God have to be there, what about love understanding and passion. God should also stay out of the bedroom.

 

Agreed!

 

 

Nice to see you back around pricillia

[lovelorcet]

I think that whatever makes us less selfish, more forgiving, more cherishing and appreciative of what we have is good stuff. Call it God or Higher Power or Baked Potato or the Right Thing To Do or the Inherent Fabulous Nature of You...if you have it, it's great, wherever it comes from.

 

In a sense I agree but lets call it hat it really is. It is NOT some god but our very human nature of empathy and striving for contentment in your lives. There is no god there....

[luvstarved]

In a sense I agree but lets call it hat it really is. It is NOT some god but our very human nature of empathy and striving for contentment in your lives. There is no god there....

 

So, in all of the vast cosmos, there is really no mystery at all. I am SOOOO glad that someone finally figured it all out. Could you point me to the article that proves beyond all doubt that we humans are indeed as good as it gets and that the world today is truly merely the result of a mind-blowing series of colossal coincidences?

 

You do not seem to get that nobody here has the objective irrefutable truth, only their belief, their "truth". For all you really know, we are just a speck of dust on a sofa in some larger universe. For all you really know, lovelybird's Christian God is the one true God. She's far from alone in that thinking.

 

Above all, why can't atheists just accept the fact that true believers get something POSITIVE out of their belief and be happy for their happiness?

It's like having a hissy fit trying to get people to join in with their existential angst.

 

I am all over being irritated with hypocrites and fearmongers and fanatics in the religious world. But there are many many people, and lovelybird strikes me as one of them, who find comfort and joy in their beliefs. I took her comments as one should take all comments, in the spirit with which they were put forth and to the extent that they have something pertinent to say to me.

 

I interpreted her remarks as meaning that a strong spiritual dimension in a relationship increases its chances of being thoroughly fulfilling. That is how it made sense for me as a non-Christian.

 

There is zero point in arguing back and forth over the existence of God, from either side, but we should actually listen to what people have to say and get from it what we can instead of trying to shoot it down or dismiss them entirely because they have a different viewpoint. I think it is called respect.

 

This is why religion causes so much trouble in the world. Not because of the tenets of various religions, but because of the mutual intolerance people have for others' beliefs.

 

Anyway, you must believe in evolution. I wish human beings would advance to the next level.

[Arch]

lawl, its not lack of god, its lack of any feeling of responsibility, commitment and duty.

[lovelorcet]

So, in all of the vast cosmos, there is really no mystery at all. I am SOOOO glad that someone finally figured it all out. Could you point me to the article that proves beyond all doubt that we humans are indeed as good as it gets and that the world today is truly merely the result of a mind-blowing series of colossal coincidences?

 

You do not seem to get that nobody here has the objective irrefutable truth, only their belief, their "truth". For all you really know, we are just a speck of dust on a sofa in some larger universe. For all you really know, lovelybird's Christian God is the one true God. She's far from alone in that thinking.

 

Above all, why can't atheists just accept the fact that true believers get something POSITIVE out of their belief and be happy for their happiness?

It's like having a hissy fit trying to get people to join in with their existential angst.

 

I am all over being irritated with hypocrites and fearmongers and fanatics in the religious world. But there are many many people, and lovelybird strikes me as one of them, who find comfort and joy in their beliefs. I took her comments as one should take all comments, in the spirit with which they were put forth and to the extent that they have something pertinent to say to me.

 

I interpreted her remarks as meaning that a strong spiritual dimension in a relationship increases its chances of being thoroughly fulfilling. That is how it made sense for me as a non-Christian.

 

There is zero point in arguing back and forth over the existence of God, from either side, but we should actually listen to what people have to say and get from it what we can instead of trying to shoot it down or dismiss them entirely because they have a different viewpoint. I think it is called respect.

 

This is why religion causes so much trouble in the world. Not because of the tenets of various religions, but because of the mutual intolerance people have for others' beliefs.

 

Anyway, you must believe in evolution. I wish human beings would advance to the next level.

 

 

I never claimed to have it ALL figured out OR did I say that humans are the end all. But I do have a MAJOR issue will people who use absolute nonsense ie religion to influence and dictate policy.

 

I have major issue with a president who belives that god told him to invade Iraq.

 

I have major issue with an administration who cuts funding and manipulates basic science whether it be stem cell research, climate change or so on...

 

Sitting around a praying to a god in the hopes that your marriage will some how just get better is bad advice in my opinion just as it is bad advice to believe that the word of god allows you to start wars or fly planes into buildings.

 

It is in the end, all the same system and the repercussions of this system has historically been used to cause a lot more suffering than good.

[Tony]

The previous seven or eight posts by a handful of members were way, way off topic. Please try to talk about God's place in marriage, the topic of this thread. If you want specifics of the topic, PLEASE READ THE VERY FIRST POST IN THIS THREAD. Posts that have opposing views are certainly on topic as long as they refer to the original post.

 

If you post in response to an off topic post, you are posting off topic. Just because a member is discourteous in hijacking a thread doesn't mean you should follow that lead. Take the high road and get things back where they should be.

 

Thank you for your cooperation.

[TechDude]

I envy people who have faith and I read lots of books trying to educate myself and have gone to many churches hoping that I would be filled with the power of something greater than myself. But it has not happened.

 

I'd love to help you with this some time, but it would be a bit off topic in this thread.

 

but IS my H on the surface because he does go to church, prays at night, etc...yet in reading the book it feels like I am the one who wants the type of marriage described in it...not my H.

 

You are searching ... you want something more ... that is good. It is a shame you husband is not searching too instead of (apparently) feeling like he has already arrived.

 

He seems very content to live his life and take care of himself and his needs. His spirituality seems to center all around him being better and taking care of himself and he seems to suggest that I should be doing the same for myself.

 

Sorry, but that spirituality is just self-centredness. Hi life needs to centre around Christ. Wanting to be "better" is admirable, but when does he decide he is better enough to stop trying to be better and start doing what God would want him to do, focussing on the needs of those around him. In the end, it is looking to the needs of others that will make him better.

 

You seem to have a good handle on your own feelings. Don't stop searching or being so genuine.

 

yet in reading the book it feels like I am the one who wants the type of marriage described in it

 

Try telling your husband that you want the kind of relationship that the book descibes. Would he read the book? Can you read it together?

 

This is not what feels like a marriage to me.

 

I agree with you.

 

Sexually we seem incompatible because he seems to only want to satisfy himself and for a long time just used porn and fantasy and masturbation and ignored me completely. Meanwhile, he will not do anything "adventurous". His idea of sexual excitement is doing the same stuff with someone (or thoughts of someone) new...mine is doing new things with the same person...that one special person that you have joined with in marriage.

[/quote/]

 

Sorry, but I'm starting to get quite animated. This bloke does not even realise what a treasure he is married to. He is completely self focussed. Going to church and praying seem to be just rituals to him, not meaningful.

 

and now I want my H to be jazzed about me because I am me, and to want sex with me because I am me...

 

Wish I had a wife like you.

 

Anyway I just thought it was funny that the way this book on faith described how a marriage should be a true emotional/spiritual/physical/intellectual/sexual union...really described what I want and cannot seem to have.

[/quote/]

 

I'm with you there.

 

Honestly it feels hypocritical of my H to go on and on about how spiritual he is and then to resist fully engaging in a marriage.

 

From what I have read here, you are more "spiritual" than he is.

 

So I can't help but feel that if God were truly in the picture, then it would be more possible.

 

If God is to be in this picture, then He will enter it through you. Don't allow your husband to be comfortable is his selfish ways. Challenge him, push him, threaten to leave if you have to, but don't allow things to continue as they are. Left to himself, you know he won't change. I'm sure God will use you to change him.

 

Anyway, perhaps a bit about me ...

 

I have been married a very long time. For almost 1/3 of that time, my wife has had severe depression. She has attempted suicide several times. She has literally spent months at a time on hospital. We have a large family, so it is tough managing the kids by myself when she is in hospital.

 

If it came down to what I want, I'd have been gone years ago.

 

In our family, I'm the one that goes to church. My wife has no interest in God and resents that I take the time to go to church each week, although I think she also knows that this is why I'm still around and have not taken off.

 

I think at times she probably thinks of me as "self righteous, religeous" and stuff like that. I hope that is not how I am or how I seem.

 

Anyway, I'm new to this forum. I might participate a bit and see how things go. Maybe it will help me let off some steam ... maybe I can even help someone else along the way. Who knows.

[Haner]

China's divorce rate is under 10%, and the vast majority don't believe in god. Something to think about for the gungho Christian moralists on this board.

 

Also, divorce proceedings in China take 20 minutes, and the fee is $1.50 (12 yuan). Yet, the divorce rate is still under 10%.

Edited March 1, 2008 by Haner

[Lovelybird]

Well, I love this part in book Praying Through the Deeper Issue of Marriage, by Stormie Omartian

No matter what happens in your life or your marriage, the Holy Spirit will always fill your heart afresh with God's love if you ask Him to. Or, if you spend time in God's presence in prayer, praise and worship, and in His Word, you will be infused with His love.

 

Feelings of love in a marriage can rise and fall and come and go. Human love ebbs and flows. It changes because of emotions, circumstances, and seasons. The love God wants us to have for our spouse is something that stays steady. It is a constant stream that pours from heaven into the human soul and overflows to those around them. But we cannot love that way without His help. That's why we have stay connected to the Lord and tap into that love every day by spending time with Him. The only way you can always be patient, kind, loving, and not easily angered is if you are plugged into God

 

The love of God will keep you from being selfish, demanding, critical, angry, rude, or abusive.....

 

If you want to stay in love with your spouse, stay in love with the Lord first. That flow of love found in Christ can touch you wherever you are and create an atmosphere of love, peace, and harmony within you that will overflow into your relationship with your husband (wife)