dagda1 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 I have a friend that I like a lot but she is younger (33 vs 49) and very pretty (I am very fat and not very good looking, OK ugly). She knows I like her more than she likes me and has been clear that she does not and will not like me more than a friend. What I find interesting is that this sweet young lady is going back to dating a child molester (convicted and on Illinois web site). She at first said he said he didn't do it (I reminded her that the jails are full of innocent men, just ask them). Then she excused it as he was off his medication then but is better now. Then she just flatly stated that she can't stay away because he is SO HOT and is interested in her. I have to admit that I am jealous but I am also worried for her. I can't say anything because she is a grown woman and if push came to shove I am sure that our friendship would die before breaking up with a handsome man. So what am I to learn from this. Women love men solely based on looks? If you are fat and a nice guy you might as well commit suicide since women will hate you regardless or anything else. All of this stuff about women wanting sweet and loving men, is all crap?? Women really want just the good looking guys and they can be child molesters, rapists, murderers as long as they are great looking. I am going to find a gun and blow my brains out... Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 I don't think it's fair to blanket all women as "loving men based solely on their looks" But, it certainly plays a large part for a lot of them, just as it does for men. I mean, when you talked about this woman the only thing you really said about her was that she was young and very pretty. Pot Kettle? Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 This is not true. There are women who would be attracted to you for non-physical characteristics and some who might be attracted to you just as you are. They might be harder to find than your average woman, but they are out there. For every body type, there is someone out there who is attracted to that body type. You just need to find her. Try the Internet. There are actually specific dating sites for women who like big guys and vice versa. Google BHM (big handsome men). Link to post Share on other sites
Mustang Sally Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 (I am very fat and not very good looking, OK ugly). I agree with what the other posters have already said. I would add that it might also help if you work on your self-esteem before getting "out there" and trying to find someone. I think this sentence you typed, above, is quite telling. i.e. You might find more women attracted to you if you change you OWN perception of yourself, first. If you find that you can't do that because the feelings you have about yourself are too ingrained because of current physical attributes, then do something about that! Make a committment to yourself to change whatever you are unhappy/insecure about. Only good can come of this! Examples: start a personal fitness program, start eating more healthfully, change your wardrobe, whatever it is that makes you feel good about YOU again. When you feel better about yourself, you will be more confident. Confidence is very attractive to other people. So what am I to learn from this. See above. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dagda1 Posted February 28, 2008 Author Share Posted February 28, 2008 As I said she is younger (33) she is very sweet and a church going young lady. She enjoys helping her friends and neighbors within bounds. She has social anxiety disorder but that has been almost gone except for recently. She says she is looking for a nice church going guy to get married and raise a family with. She also wants to do something with her Spanish language degree like teach or work with the poor. Like I said a very wonderful lady. BTW I will temporarily update my profile to prove my characterization of myself is accurate. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Wow.. you call her a good woman.. church going and all that... Gossshhhh.. a woman who falls in love with a child molester is NOT a good woman... she's a hypocrite who use church to mask her ugliness.... My advice : don't go near churches if you want a woman.. I've seen sooo many 'catholic - good people' child abusers.. trust me on that one. I would prefer 'intelligence' over looks any time. If the guy/woman is drop-dead gorgeous but is as dumb as a... (whatever) then he/she loses all attractiveness in my eyes... but if the guy/woman is confident and smart.. then he/she is attractive.. IMO... Link to post Share on other sites
wookinpanub Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 I have a friend that I like a lot but she is younger (33 vs 49) and very pretty (I am very fat and not very good looking, OK ugly). She knows I like her more than she likes me and has been clear that she does not and will not like me more than a friend. What I find interesting is that this sweet young lady is going back to dating a child molester (convicted and on Illinois web site). She at first said he said he didn't do it (I reminded her that the jails are full of innocent men, just ask them). Then she excused it as he was off his medication then but is better now. Then she just flatly stated that she can't stay away because he is SO HOT and is interested in her. I have to admit that I am jealous but I am also worried for her. I can't say anything because she is a grown woman and if push came to shove I am sure that our friendship would die before breaking up with a handsome man. So what am I to learn from this. Women love men solely based on looks? If you are fat and a nice guy you might as well commit suicide since women will hate you regardless or anything else. All of this stuff about women wanting sweet and loving men, is all crap?? Women really want just the good looking guys and they can be child molesters, rapists, murderers as long as they are great looking. I am going to find a gun and blow my brains out... Dude, don't worry about it. It has nothing to do with your looks. It has to do with your attitude. You're too nice! All women really want is an *******, goodlooking or otherwise. Atleast, that's how all the women I know are. Link to post Share on other sites
konfuzd Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 The majority of the guys I date are not what most would consider attractive. Most people see the guy I'm dating now, and their first reaction is "what do you see in him?" but once they see the chemistry between us and the way we interact, they give their full blessing. I was not attracted to him in the least when I met him, but I had such a good time with him I decided to go out with him and see what happened. Now, when I look at him, I find him dead sexy, and he makes my heart skip a beat. Some people don't have what it takes for that instant spark and that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it just means you have to be more patient, and put yourself in situations with women where they get to see your personality. Hold out for a girl who looks at you for who you are. Do you think you'd have a fulfilling relationship with someone totally superficial anyhow? Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Also, OP, you should read some of teacher's pet's threads, especially the early ones. His body type is similar to yours, and he is a magnetic guy with no trouble getting dates. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 I read a good quote recently: How can you expect someone else to enjoy your company if you don't enjoy your own company? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 OP, McD's named a hamburger after me (BigM) and I'm still breathin'. Can that suicide by gun cr@p and take a hard look at yourself. Can you really see yourself with a women for whom "soooo hot" is the primary criteria for dating? You're not going to reform this one or any other one. Re-jigger your criteria to include other aspects and dismiss those who would judge you by your outer appearance. Assuming that you don't have a genetic health condition causing obesity, you can always improve your weight and BMI even marginally and it'll make a huge difference in many things, including confidence. I got stuck in the "friend zone" a lot when I was younger but my 40's were a big wake-up call to end that. I guess me and the burger are doin' OK Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Eyed Brain Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 Women will look at a good looking guy but will stay with a man that treats her like she is the best person in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
LikesMeNot Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 Although it is true that some women judge men solely on their looks, those girls are usually self-centered and shallow. The girls that like you for your traits are the ones with material. For example, guys, would would you date a woman that only likes you for what you look like, or a girl that loves you for everything you do? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 For example, guys, would would you date a woman that only likes you for what you look like, or a girl that loves you for everything you do?Ideally, both. But, honestly, no normal human is going to have even a fleeting concept of what my value in the world is just by looking at the exterior of my carcass They need to go "whoa" before they will stop and take the time and energy to explore deeper. This has been an issue for me in my marriage, due to my wife consciously abandoning her natural superficiality after her last marriage and coming up with a "list" of deeper qualities she wanted in a man. My mistake was I bought into that. Her judgment of men by their appearance is a basic personality trait which likely will never change. I was fine as long as the list was singing along This is some of the stuff I'm working on in MC. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 lol, you are 16 years older dude, common find someone in your age range, Link to post Share on other sites
Mustang Sally Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 Just curious, Arch. What age range do you think applies to someone 49 yrs old? I didn't actually think their ages were so much the problem, here. JMO, of course. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 I have a friend that I like a lot but she is younger (33 vs 49) and very pretty (I am very fat and not very good looking, OK ugly). She knows I like her more than she likes me and has been clear that she does not and will not like me more than a friend. What I find interesting is that this sweet young lady is going back to dating a child molester (convicted and on Illinois web site). She at first said he said he didn't do it (I reminded her that the jails are full of innocent men, just ask them). Then she excused it as he was off his medication then but is better now. Then she just flatly stated that she can't stay away because he is SO HOT and is interested in her. I have to admit that I am jealous but I am also worried for her. I can't say anything because she is a grown woman and if push came to shove I am sure that our friendship would die before breaking up with a handsome man. So what am I to learn from this. Women love men solely based on looks? If you are fat and a nice guy you might as well commit suicide since women will hate you regardless or anything else. All of this stuff about women wanting sweet and loving men, is all crap?? Women really want just the good looking guys and they can be child molesters, rapists, murderers as long as they are great looking. I am going to find a gun and blow my brains out...You've assessed the situation accurately. Most men are just as bad though. Beauty moves you...admit it to yourself... Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 lol, you are 16 years older dude, common find someone in your age range, I hate to be evil and I've been there with being attracted to younger women but......Arch is right Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 Seriously, did you go to school? One woman is not representative of half the human race. SOME women (a minority) are driven mostly by looks. Most are driven partly by looks, more so by personality. And some don't really care much about looks at all (a minority). Now before you continue with your little pity party, think of how men judge women. Men are *far more* obsessed with physical appearance in a woman. They are also concerned with age. If a woman is fat, ugly, or over 40, she will find it much harder to get attention than an equivalent man. How often do you see some fat, or ugly, or old guy with a hot young woman? Much more than you see a fat, ugly, or old woman with a young handsome toyboy. Women have it much tougher in that department. My advice is stop feeling sorry for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Marine Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 Women will look at a good looking guy but will stay with a man that treats her like she is the best person in the world. Good one. Oh. You were serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 What I find interesting is that this sweet young lady is going back to dating a child molester (convicted and on Illinois web site). She at first said he said he didn't do it (I reminded her that the jails are full of innocent men, just ask them). Then she excused it as he was off his medication then but is better now. Then she just flatly stated that she can't stay away because he is SO HOT and is interested in her. Stay away from any woman that has the hots for child molesters. There's something intrinsically wrong with this type of attraction. No matter how good-looking, confident and attractive this man is, he's fetid inside, regardless of meds. Child molesters can't be cured and many times, can't even be controlled, even if he's taking meds. A disgusting waste of air. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 Just curious, Arch. What age range do you think applies to someone 49 yrs old? I didn't actually think their ages were so much the problem, here. JMO, of course. +/- 5 years tops, So between 44 and 54 Link to post Share on other sites
halfarock Posted March 2, 2008 Share Posted March 2, 2008 +/- 5 years tops, So between 44 and 54 Nonsense. There is nothing wrong with dating someone with a 15-20 year age difference. It just depends on the people involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 2, 2008 Share Posted March 2, 2008 Nonsense. There is nothing wrong with dating someone with a 15-20 year age difference. It just depends on the people involved. lawl, everything is wrong with it. Link to post Share on other sites
halfarock Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 All women really want is an *******, goodlooking or otherwise. No they don’t. Do you think you'd have a fulfilling relationship with someone totally superficial anyhow? Although it is true that some women judge men solely on their looks, those girls are usually self-centered and shallow. Perhaps those who assume that attractiveness is shallow or superficial are the ones that are being shallow and superficial. I’m a good looking man and I very much enjoy making women happy, using my looks. How is it any different, depth wise, than making them happy with any other characteristic that I might have? If women that like men for their looks are self-centered, superficial, and shallow, then on a regular basis I am turning women into self-centered, superficial, shallow women, even the ugly ones. It must not be too bad though, as they all seem to be smiling. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts