Think she sensed no confidence

[d73]

So I been talking to this girl I met recently, we're both older, late 20's, we work fulltime and joined this photography group that meets up twice a week.

 

So first week I went in and she was kinda made her way next to me and I thought, *drool* ..

 

So we talked, mostly about photos and stuff, I totally felt like she was into me cause we kept catchin each other's eyes and smiling. It was nice.

 

The next night I went over to walk with her as she was leaving, and man I think I was reeking of unconfidence. Kinda slouching, talkin slowly and ended with a 'k well, see you later'. She gave me a friendly 'you too!' but I dunno, I just feel like I blew it somehow!! I totally felt the vibe or rush swept out of her like that instant.

 

So now, obviously, I'm gonna have to be more confident, but I guess my question is: Does confidence the second time around work once it's been established I might not be a 'confident' person the first time?

[xpaperxcutx]

Well there you go. The first step to showing that you lack confidence, is to actually thinkthat way. Don't doubt yourself, you were just nervous. Although first impressions always seem to be the deciding force in things, I think that if you just try to assert yourself the second time around, it'll be a head turner on your part. Don't question it too much.

[Lucasarts]

to answer your question:

 

yes

 

a sudden change of confidence means that something must have happened during sometime between the first lack of it to this sudden burst of it. It's a mystery for the girl to unravel making her think more about why you changed in a positive way (which is good). Also, some girls won't read too deep into it like you and just assume that you were having an off day or something. No one's perfect remember that.

[yongyong]

it doesn't matter how sweet you are.

 

If you show lack of confidence (it means you like her a lot) , she would be turned off!

[Arch]

it doesn't matter how sweet you are.

 

If you show lack of confidence (it means you like her a lot) , she would be turned off!

 

****, so if you show a chick you like her then she is turned off by you, no wonder females end up such ****ty guys.

[yongyong]

You didn't get what I meant (that's my fault)

 

I talk fine with woman. However, if she is my type and I want to go further, I get very nervous and act like shy guy.

If a girl blushes, can't make eye contact, say quietly because she like you, we think it's cute. For a guy?? you know the answer sir?

 

 

****, so if you show a chick you like her then she is turned off by you, no wonder females end up such ****ty guys.

[D-Lish]

I wouldn't worry too much about coming off as shy.

I'd be more turned off by a guy who was overly confident.... mostly because it could indicate he is a seasoned pick up artist.

 

Shy is okay- and confidence can simply be an act of making eye contact when you talk to her.

 

I have always found it helpful when I am nervous to ask questions about the other person. This shows you are interested in their lives- and it gets them talking- ergo helping a conversation along.

 

She won't realize you aren't talking as much- she'll feel like you have a genuine interest in what she has to say. You can decide on some questions before hand- just make sure they are open ended so you get a longer answer.

 

"So what brings you here"

"What other kinds of things do you like to do"

Questions like that might open the door to a conversation- and guaranteed, the more she talks, the more you'll relax.

 

Eye contact, smile, laugh at her jokes (not overboard lol).

"What's your favorite food?"... which leads to "Maybe we can grab (insert fav food) sometime.

 

I find shy to be intriguing.

I don't think you ruined anything at all.

[Thom]

Agreed^^

 

I've been in similar situations where I felt like I was having an off day or something. But 9 times out of 10 it turned out I was just paranoid.

 

But really you have nothing to worry about. Just relax, be interested, be yourself.