Mixed Signals - Am I Wrong?

[Mimi17]

First off, this is my first posting here but I'll try to keep it short and sweet.

 

Last summer I met a great guy where I work. We immediately hit it off, our first conversation outside of work lasted for over 3 hours. I had a boyfriend at the time but we still hung out and flirted like crazy with each other. Even people at work noticed it. Then he transferred to another location and while we didn't see each other as much, he still came to parties I had, still hung out and flirted, etc. He called me sometimes, I called him - it was very back and forth. I knew he was interested in me and I had kind of a "thing" for him, but nothing ever happened.

 

During this time I had on/off problems with my boyfriend. My friend was always there for a shoulder to cry on. A few times he hung out with me just because I was upset. Things started getting really bad around the first of the year. I started to go into depression because of my boyfriend. I told my friend about it and he took me out a few times to cheer me up. We talked about all kinds of things, like what I was looking for in a relationship, what he was looking for, what kind of dates I liked, etc. He's 20 and the longest relationship he's ever had is 5 months which was over a year ago and said he was looking for somebody, but she had to be the "right" one.

 

I finally broke up with my boyfriend about 3 weeks ago. A few days later my friend and I were hanging out. Well one thing led to another and we kissed. Not a make out session but 8 or 10 really good kisses. He was leaving for the weekend and I told him to call me when he got back. He never did, so I texted him during the week and we hung out again last weekend. We went to dinner (he kissed me outside the restaurant), came back to my house to watch a movie and then proceeded to have a 2 hour make out session. No groping or anything, just a lot of great kisses and some sweet comments here and there. He has told me he likes independent women who can take the lead sometimes but also wants to be cared for. He also told me he's insecure (I never would of guessed it). I kidded him when he left that now it was his turn to call me to hang out, he kind of made a comment about taking me out this upcoming weekend.

 

Here's my dilema. I haven't heard from him yet. No phone calls, no text messages. I know he's super busy with school (he goes to collage full time and it is time for mid-terms I think) and work but I'm wondering what is going on. I've dated players, I KNOW he isn't that kind of guy. To be fair, I did tell him it was going to take me a few months to get my head on straight before I started thinking about dating again (the relationship was over a year). He just seems pretty "iffy" about contacting me. He seems to be cautious when it comes to relationships, but I know we have chemistry. Right now I'm fine and having fun reconnecting with old friends and hanging out with a varitey of people, but I think eventually he's the one I want to be with. Do I just give it time, or do you think he's hesistant or not interested because he doesn't call me alot. All the other relationships I've been in, I KNOW the guy likes me because they stay in touch on a regular basis.

 

Thanks for any input you can give me.

[Shagsta09]

he seems like a really nice guy so here's what i think. i think hes giving you your space "to get you head straight". i think he really likes you otherwise he wouldnt have kissed you. just give it time. like you said hes concentrating on his midterms. so he probably stressed out a little bit

[carhill]

Hmmm...make out session but won't be able to date for a few months until head is on straight.

 

I'd say, although he should've been more straightforward about it, he wants to date you and isn't interested in hanging out in the "friend zone". He's giving you your "space".

 

When you get your head on straight, give him a call. If the chemistry is still there, you can pick up where you left off. Remember, your expressed desire for time alone is what is driving things right now. You've been clear with him. That's your responsibility. He's been "available" to you as a support since last summer. These are all factors worthy of your consideration and appreciation.

 

Hope it works out!