NineGirl Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 well, my bf for about 2 yrs on and off has truly gotten under my skin.. we have been dating for 6 months after our break we had (due to my choice) and everything seemed okay.. Lately i am just not that into him as i was before... i dont know what it is.. i know that he truly loves me and can never let go, but i dont care anymore. i just feel like "bla" ... is this normal? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Falling out of love is just as normal as falling in love. It is as painful as falling in love is joyful. It is a chemical reaction in your brain, or rather - the lack of one that used to be there. Link to post Share on other sites
disco Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I think it is normal. Peoples feelings change. I had a similar situation. I dated this girl for like 3mos and then she broke it off saying "it didn't feel right". I continued to have feelings for her and wanted to get back together and she didn't. So we just remained friends. Well after about a year or two she started wanting to hang out more and more and dropping hints that she maybe wanted to get back together. At that time I didn't like her anymore in that way. I only liked her as a friend. My feelings for her changed, I no longer had romantic feelings for her. So maybe you've changed and your feelings have towareds this guy as well. There is nothing wrong with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Obama08 Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 Best way to end a relationship. Helluvalot better than a broken heart. Sounds like it's time to start a new chapter in life. Nothing wrong with that. I would recommend taking a long break from relationships and just enjoying being single for a while. IME It's the best way to meet new people, and the best mindset to be in when you do finally start a new relationship. The hard part will be ending the relationship. You don't have to sever it in one swift stroke either. Let him know how you feel and keep talking about it consistently for a month or so. Let him acclimate to the idea and the split will likely go much better for the both of you. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Habibti Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 It is a chemical reaction in your brain, or rather - the lack of one that used to be there. I disagree 110 percent. The thing people need to understand about loving another person is regardless of all the media hooplah love is something you CHOOSE. It isn't just swept upon you, infatuation is. Infatuation can seem like love and ultimately wane, but choosing to love someone is much different. You don't no longer love a person because your chemicals changed like the wind. I think not. Perhaps there is something about him that became a deal breaker, for example- you might choose to love someone who becomes a coke addict. You can choose to continue to love them, or decide that's deal breaking behavior which is not acceptable and move on. Or, maybe you felt strong feelings for him but it was never love, just infatuation? Loving another person is NOT about chemicals and you DO have a choice to love them or not to. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 To answer the OP, yes, it is possible and does happen, likely more than you know. I'm working through my version in MC. Simple truth is my mom had a stroke, became demented and I had to care for her, as I am an only child. My wife couldn't handle the chaos and emotional upheaval so she distanced herself. Trying to keep my marriage together and take care of my mom overwhelmed me. I was mad at my wife for not giving me support and repeatedly sought it out over 4 years. I finally gave up. Love dies one day at a time. Your situation is different but I wanted to give one example. I think my wife is a smart, attractive, hard-working woman but, at this point in time, I feel nothing for her, save for a few pangs of memories that once were. All those years of stress and abandonment killed something in my brain. Is it possible to re-find the love? Perhaps. I'm giving MC a year, along with self-help and periodic relationship talks. In your situation, if you don't "love" him, you simply stop dating him. That's easy (functionally). When you're married, it's a little more complex... Link to post Share on other sites
SoHotZanzibar Posted March 8, 2008 Share Posted March 8, 2008 Can you fall out of love? Sure can! Next question! And here is the funny thing: If you fall out of love while dating for years, all your friends, family, and even preachers will say 'move on. find the right one!' But if you do the silly thing and get married after dating for years, Look out! all your friends, family, and even preachers will say 'Stay with them! You found the right one!' Meanwhile, the only difference in the scenario above was a day where you exchanged vows and a ring at a Church. Link to post Share on other sites
Obama08 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 But if you do the silly thing and get married after dating for years, Look out! all your friends, family, and even preachers will say 'Stay with them! You found the right one!' Until you get divorced, at which point they'll all claim they never liked her in the first place Link to post Share on other sites
reddog63 Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Can you fall out of love? Sure can! Next question! And here is the funny thing: If you fall out of love while dating for years, all your friends, family, and even preachers will say 'move on. find the right one!' But if you do the silly thing and get married after dating for years, Look out! all your friends, family, and even preachers will say 'Stay with them! You found the right one!' Meanwhile, the only difference in the scenario above was a day where you exchanged vows and a ring at a Church. Very well said!! Link to post Share on other sites
SoHotZanzibar Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Yeah, I'd like to hear a counter argument to what I said. Not because I feel I have a chip on my shoulder, but I'd liked to hope I am wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NineGirl Posted March 11, 2008 Author Share Posted March 11, 2008 ughhh i dont know anymore... sometimes i thinks its more me than him... or more him than me! whatever the case may be, we both don't deserve this I DONT KNOW! lately my minds been all over the place... back in highschool i used to be the biggest hypochondriac EVER! and now those feelings are coming back... -i know that seems off topic but it has been distracting me A LOT lately... I'm losing focus Link to post Share on other sites
shadowofman Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 Everything is about brain chemicals, from hunger, to need for sleep, need for sex, need for love, need for social interaction. It a proven fact that real physiological reactions are occurring while we are feeling the "love". Your pupil's dilate. Your skin flushes a bit. You can fall out of love and it is quite physical. You can choose to remain with someone, and you are likely to feel love for them again, but "feeling them" is not a choice. Link to post Share on other sites
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