urgent appreciated

[tulipblooms]

Hi I guess I am serious and despearte...well, I am.

 

I am a 28 year old grad student, and I developed this crush on my professor. I am not sure how old he is exactly, but I am pretty sure that he is over 42-3 looking at his degree year.

 

I know that many people would at this point think that this is again a typical immature student-crush-on-a professor...and I am well aware of a strong stigma against this. but...I still ask help and I am serious about this.

 

I don't deny that I am attracted to his intelligence and maturity, generosity and experience etc, but I feel like I like him as a person, too. Nothing much happened except that I have had this crush for about 6 months by now: I took his class last semester. He happens to know my boss and my supervisor for whom I have been interning. So we have some common issues or people to talk about (not too much) and felt a bit more familiar to each other..maybe. He always came to class about an hour before the class (it was a night class starting at 8) and I usually go there after work before class, so we talked a lot during the semester...although nothing really personal or too exciting.

 

I had very many questions over the course and during the final exam period since it was a complicated accounting course. He responded to my emails of questions always at the latest in an hour. (well I guess he was just being really professional and a good professor, but can't help thinking that he might have been interested in me, too - we exchanged about 60 emails.) At the last class, we happened to be in the classroom till late to go over some problem sets, and I didn't realize that I lost one of my notes. Next morning (Friday), he emailed me that he stuck one of my notes in his book and if I want it, he could drop it for me as he needed to come to school for something else. I emailed him back that I'd like to have it back if he could - he said he wasn't sure when he would be coming, so he would drop it at the library and I could pick it up later.

 

Then, when I was studying in the library on Saturday, I was sitting at the very deepest corner of the 2-floor library where none of my friends could find me. (I didn't want to be distracted.) I never told him that I would be in the library or sitting there that day around that time, but somehow he was standing next to me handing over my notes. I was really surprised wondering how he found me without really looking for me at a fairly big place like library.

 

After final exam, I sent him a X-mas card to his office...I didn't write anything special, but just said thanks for his responsiveness to my questions and help throughout the course. He didn't respond (which I didn't really expect him to)

 

I missed him so much, but since he is only a part-time professor and not teaching this semester, there's no way for me to see him even accidentally at school. so I decided to be a big liar....sort of.

 

I emailed him yesterday that I have a few job offers to decide for my job after school and asked him for an opinion. Because I missed him so much, I drafted the email a bit carefully that he wouldn't just say "email me about your offers." I first asked him if he would be availabe for advice - he said "any time" then added a comment that he heard from my boss (whom he also knows) about me that my boss said that she was so lucky to have me working for her - which I thought a little random, but anyways.

 

Then, I emailed him again asking if I could talk to him for advice "in person" or over the phone (trying to exclude "email") - he simply said "sure."

 

so I again lied that I was meeting someone around his office downtown and if he would be available for a chat around sometime in the afternoon. He again said sure and gave me his number and address.

 

I finally met him and talked to him for about an hour today. I feel like he was being (like always) cautious and was trying to be professional - not really talking about anything else than our topic of career advice. but it was very nice of him to listen to my story (which I made up anyway) and took his busy time for me...I think.

 

I know that he is not married, and am pretty sure that he has not been married...and hopefully he is not with anyone currently (which I am kinda sure). I saw no picture (not even one) in his office...which I want to take as a good sign.

 

And so...now.. I can't think about any other excuse or reason to meet with him....and I know that he would never ask me out first or contact me anyway.... should I just let it go? or is there any way that I can make a positive but not too much move towards?

[Arch]

lol, its a bad idea while your still at that university,

[tulipblooms]

I am finishing my degree in 2 months. He's an adjunct, so he only teachs by semester and doesn't stay at school..if this changes your advice. I guess I do see that it may still be a no-no.