Is my boyfriend PLAYING GAMES?

[jmmm]

i don't know what to do and what games are being played.

 

2 weeks ago it was a long weekend..my b/f said he would need to work on the car sunday. He told me this saturday but since we had a long weekend I was thinking about us waking up together monday and being able to be together. So i said ok, and once it gets dark or a little bit later we can do something.

 

I didnt realize until sunday afternoon when i mentioned possibly taking a cab later to his place so he wouldnt even have to drive that he just didn't want to see me. He wanted to relax alone and he said he can pick me up whatever time tomorrow. So--he had it in his head just plainly not to see me sunday. I didn't realize that until he got angry for me bringing it up and arguing about it sunday. I didn't know he just wanted to relax without me and afterwards i couldn't help feeling a little hurt.

 

Monday comes and he doesn't call me. I call him at 5pm and he said he was helping his brother. I said well you should have called to let me know that.

He mentioned doing something later and i said the day is over and there is work tomorrow. He basically blew me off Monday. I texted him a few times saying you blew me off and should have called. He eventually wrote you are right, i just didn't feel like dealing with things. That week eventually passed--there was distance and us not being close whatsoever..no hand holding or anything

 

This situation occurred two weeks ago and nothing has changed. We have not held hands, kissed, had sex or anything. We saw each other the past two days and still nothing has changed and now i almost feel its a game of who makes the first move.

 

Is that was this is? I absolutely feel i shouldn't be the one to take his hand or anything b/c he is the one who hurt me and blew me off.

 

I don't know what to do. I feel so angry and i actually don't know if i should say something or act indifferent..like the way he is acting. He seems perfectly ok with the distance between us but obviously things are not right.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Given your past posts, and this one - it doesn't sound like he is playing games. It sounds like he just dropped you to a lower point in his priorities. People generally do that when they have checked out emotionally and/or are on the way out. I don't think it is meant to be manipulative or to play games - it sounds like he wants out and is taking the coward's way out by incrementally phasing you out. Perhaps he is hoping you will walk away before he has to walk away himself.

 

Whatever the case is, the time for guessing games is over. Its time now to have "the talk" - the one where you say it is apparent he has put some distance between you, and you want to know why.

[jmmm]

i texted him saying things are really weird between us and he wrote back saying he knows, its him. And i wrote saying well usually when a person says that, it means it a problem with the other and i won't bother you. He wrote thats not true.

 

should i just back away from him? not answer his calls for a day or so?

[LucreziaBorgia]

Back away and let him do the contacting. In the meantime, go back and read all of your old threads and give some serious thought as to what it is you really have with him as opposed to what you wish you could have with him.