text and phone call issues

[freckles3131]

I have been with my b.f. for 2 1/2 yrs. Have had access to his email accts/phone logs. Have not felt the need to look at them at all in this time. For some reason (little voice in my head, gut feeling) told me to look at his cell phone records...

 

What I found-Problem #1:

B.f. goes out Christmas shopping with guy friend. Conversation lead to their current relationships(me) and the thought of marriage (I'm not pushing the issue/have been marrried, but he has never been married...me age 39, him 29) he said he doesn't know why he doesn't want to get married (to me or anyone else for that matter) aparantly his last relationship got brought up into the mix and he said he told his friend he "has unanswerd questions with it/no closure, has thoughts of "is it him" that ruins relationships, has fear and thus keeps the walls up etc...) has beers in him and decides to drive over to ex-girlfiends house to "find out the answers" as he wants to know "if it's him and his issues" that are responsible for lack of commitment. She does not answer door as her new b.f. is there, 4 days later there is a 25 min. phone call on his cell

(the only way I knew about him going over to the ex's house was because there was a 25 min. phone call to her on his cell bill) I wouldn't have known about him going over there to "have closure, find out why they broke up, find out if it's "him" and is there things he can change to better himself for our relationship and thus allowing himself to fully open himself up for total commitment with me...again, I only found out about it because I saw the phone call...he said he didn't tell me because it was a "non-issue" because he loves me, doesn't want her etc......and it was to do some "soul-searching" to better our relationship....There has been no more contact between them, but he told me she said, "This is the last time we'll have contact, as she has "moved on" and is in a current/live-in relationship"

 

Problem #2--the next month there were 3 dates where there was multiple text messages/texts to a girl I didn't know..(I confronted him, he told me..again I wouldn't have known had I not snooped)

He met her through a mutual friend at a funeral that I didn't attend. That night everyone went out (I was home with the flu) there were a few texts going back and forth, then again on a night out without me...a few days later (initiated by him) the next 2 times there was contact it was initated by her..and he said, he told her "I'm doing something with my girlfriend tonight and she said, "Ok, cool" and that was the last there was any contact....

He said, "She was a cool chick, they know lot of the same people from high school/lots of mutual friends, and he was having fun hanging out/talking w/a cool chick instead of his guy friends for once as he "has no female friends" and it was nice to meet someone interesting to shoot the bull with. That he was out in a public bar and lots of our friends were there and he wanted her to come hang out. and if he was "doing something wrong" he would have asked her to go somewhere private.

I don't know what any of the text messages say because they were all deleted...(he keeps other old text msg. on there and doesn't regularly delete them, yet all of these were deleted and he never told me he met a chick that is now going to be a "friend' I only found out because I snooped.)

Since all of this he said I have access to all of his records/phone/ etc..and can "check up on him" and if she texts he'll let me read them etc..he said he didn't say anything/tell me because things are going really well between us and he didn't want to upset me (I have a jealous bone) and it was innocent and a non-issue

He said, "Talking to the ex allowed him closure and it helped him to realize just how much he loves me"

The other girl was just him wanting to have a female friend that is "cool" to hang out with as I have tons of guy friends and he only has guy friends/no female friends and it was a nice change of pace.

Thoughts???