Dating strategies?

[DrGilbertBrown]

Well I'm 23 years old. I have my degree now. I'm unemployed at the moment and I'm looking for a job here in New York City. I've never really had a LTR in my life. I've sort of "got by" these years by the sole fact that I'm good looking and tall. Now I'm realizing that A.) my looks aren't going to last and B.) women become less and less interested in that as they grow older. I also don't think I'm stupid and I think women generally pick up on that. My conversation skills however are pretty subpar. I suppose I have a weird way of speaking. And nervousness just strips me of my balls sometimes.

 

Anyway now that I'm out of school I realize that an entire golden avenue of meeting single women is gone. I need some new strategies to go by because the status quo has not been cutting it. My friends, unfortunately, are all taken so their interest in going out to bars and clubs and paying for $7 beers is not there. So that avenue for the most part is out. I need some new avenues to meet women. I need some tips to get better at this "game."

Edited March 1, 2008 by DrGilbertBrown

[sam light]

You could still take the occassional course at school and meet women thay way. A job would really help.

[xpaperxcutx]

Ny has a lot revenues to go about meeting young women. Try the clubs and bars at St. Marks. Not alot of girls are readily available, they're usually barhopping and just getting drunk and looking for a good one night stand.

You could try online dating, meeting local singles and meeting outside.

 

I don't see how you could not find yourself not attractive? Alot of women nowadays are attracted to tall guys with good personalities. You seem to fit that profile. There's generally more single women in Manhattan but you have to try West Village, or Times Square. Anywhere where ppl like to party and hang out. Heck, you can even try the Metro museum. Lol... Umm Central Park? lol actually that would come off stalkerish.

[xpaperxcutx]

You could still take the occassional course at school and meet women thay way. A job would really help.

 

And a job would be a plus. Just in case the question about what you do for a living comes up in a conversatiion.

[DrGilbertBrown]

I don't see how you could not find yourself not attractive? Alot of women nowadays are attracted to tall guys with good personalities. You seem to fit that profile.

 

Haha, I'm glad you think so.

 

One big problem here is trying to get my guy-friends to come out with me. I can't really go out there alone. That's way too loserish. And Manhattan is expensive as anything. I simply can't afford to get drunk out there. I need something more local, something in Queens prefably.

 

Job is key yes, and I have a feeling more things will start to fall in place once I get it. If anything it gives me a bit of capital to do these things and buy nice clothes and all that other nonsense.

[Green]

You need some confidence. If you leave your house and do anything you will no doubt see many women you want to meet. You've got the perfect opener to you can just stop them and say something like, "you look around my age and you seem pretty happy what field do you work in" something along those lines, then you could either use it as a business contact when you contact HR or just flirt with the girl and get her number so you can meet up again or both... Now honestly, how long have you been unemployed

[DrGilbertBrown]

You need some confidence.

 

Without a doubt but that's easier said than done. It's like going up to a group of marathoners before their run and saying, "Alright guys, the key here is to run really, really fast."

 

Now honestly, how long have you been unemployed

 

Honestly about two weeks if you count school as employment. I just got my degree this winter. Took a year off so I was a bit late.

 

You've got the perfect opener to you can just stop them and say something like, "you look around my age and you seem pretty happy what field do you work in" something along those lines, then you could either use it as a business contact when you contact HR or just flirt with the girl and get her number so you can meet up again or both.

 

Can you elaborate on this? I'm not completely understanding you. Are you suggesting that I go up to women on the street and just throw out a line like that? I mean, how often does that happen? That's a bit weird and I'm sure it would send up some red flags to the girl. Like I'd imagine she would think, "Who the **** are you?", in the back of her mind and then politely make an excuse as to why she can't talk to me. Sure I can B-52 it. Just go out there and carpet bomb and hope one of them hits but I want something with a bit higher success percentage. And what's this about a business contract "when you contact HR?" Are you saying that I'm being too mechanical about this?

Edited March 2, 2008 by DrGilbertBrown

[Storyrider]

Why don't you just take him out on the town, KMT?

[Green]

I don't count school as employment unless your being paid to go, although full time student can be one of the better excuses. As for my advice to a marathon runner it would be to pace themselves and not worry about what every one else was doing and to just make sure to do their best. This applies to you. From a mans perspective finding a good job and finding a good woman are alot alike. You know what it means to be confident, and only you know if your actualy giving it a good shot. You have to find what works best for you. For me I'll read a motivational book, listen to some music, maybe watch a comedy. Like the runner you have to pace yourself, make sure to get some momentum going and that your taking a step foward each day.

[DrGilbertBrown]

Ah, but like the marathon runner he can get tips on ways to increase his performance. Load up on carbs before the run. Train in such-and-such a way in the months prior. Make sure to do these stretches. You see where I'm driving out? I'm just looking to maximize results through strategy. I want to attack this problem like any other.

 

From a mans perspective finding a good job and finding a good woman are alot alike.

Can you elaborate on this KMT?

[Green]

Ah, but like the marathon runner he can get tips on ways to increase his performance. Load up on carbs before the run. Train in such-and-such a way in the months prior. Make sure to do these stretches. You see where I'm driving out? I'm just looking to maximize results through strategy. I want to attack this problem like any other.

 

Can you elaborate on this KMT?

 

Look in your own anology you compared my advice to what would be given to a runner right before the race. Loading up on carbs, and training in such a way is pointless to talk about with some one as pertaining to the race they are about to run. You've done your training and you've loaded up on your carbs its time to make some attempts. Come back with stories of how you actually tried some things and failed a few times and then we'll be able to give you better advice. As far as what I said about getting a job and a woman being alot alike, you have to apply yourself at as many places that look good, you have to make yourself stand out some how, and you can't let rejection get you down. Theres more to it but I was hoping it would just click for you when I said it. Good luck your key to sucess will be figuring out how to gain the confidence you need to implement the things you already know how to do, Personaly I think it can be as easy as just deciding to follow the nike logo of just do it, but thats up to you to discover

[xpaperxcutx]

To answer to your reply, Queens is quite ethically diverse. You've got hispanics, greeks, albanians, asians... etc. Good places to hang out in Queens includes the Queens mall, umm Astoria, Elmhurst... Kew Gardens, and Forest Hills. They're restaurant and cafe based in Forest Hills and Astoria, but great hangouts for you to go for a cup of coffee and chat up the locals. Hope that helps.