Lizzie60 Posted March 2, 2008 Share Posted March 2, 2008 This is a really interesting topic. You know, there's a contemporary philosopher by the name of Crosby (can't think of his first name) who wrote an essay on the "incommunicable person." It's that "something" about someone that transcends the superficial--analogous, maybe, to the soul. It's a beautifully written essay, and I highly recommend it to the OP as well as some of the more superficial posters on here. That being said, I understand why there is a tendancy toward SOME aspect of superficiallity. Most of us want someone who will complement our lifestyle (i.e. if you are atheletic, you want to date someone who is equally so; if you are a drinker, you want to date someone who drinks; etc.). We all have--no matter how virtuous a person is--some kind of ideal person whether it is regarding looks, status, intellect, etc. Personally, I don't care so much about looks, but more about intellect and character--which as noble as that seems is still superficial to a degree. Regardless, I refuse to date anyone who is not educated. I also tend to go for dark hair and light eyes, but that's really just coincidental, not preferencial (sp?). The bood is 'The Selfhood of the Human Person' by John F. Crosby. I agree that the intellect is much more important.. if the guy/girl is drop-dead gorgeous.. but drop-dead stupid.. it's not good.. Intelligence has its charm... Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 2, 2008 Share Posted March 2, 2008 People can also become more or less attractive when you get to know them. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Quiet, little or no makeup, glasses are attractive but either way is fine, and piercings. Arch may I say you just decribed me? lol except I now wear contact lenses Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 People can also become more or less attractive when you get to know them. This is very true... Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Arch may I say you just decribed me? lol except I now wear contact lenses Thats hot haha. Link to post Share on other sites
SOS_Please Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 The bood is 'The Selfhood of the Human Person' by John F. Crosby. I agree that the intellect is much more important.. if the guy/girl is drop-dead gorgeous.. but drop-dead stupid.. it's not good.. Intelligence has its charm... LOL, thank you Lizzie! It's been awhile since I've read it. I'm just glad someone else on here is familiar with it! Marry me? Link to post Share on other sites
MexicanBillBacker Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 I am like you Yong.. so what? I don't see it as being shallow but having personal preference... I don't like fat men (they are not fit).... I won't date them.. I don't like smokers (they don't care about their health)... I won't date them.. I don't like short men...(I prefer tall, dark and hansome) I won't date them.. I don't like men that drive old rusty cars...(that means they can't afford a decent car) I won't date them.. I don't like men that have no paying jobs...(that means they're not educated) I won't date them.. I don't like men that live with roomates...(they are losers and can't afford a place of their own) I won't date them.. I don't like men that wear tacky clothes...(they have no taste) I won't date them.. If this is shallow.. I really don't give a hoot... at least, I know what I want and what I DON'T WANT.. I'm glad I'm not dating you Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 (edited) I'm glad I'm not dating you why.. you're all that... then me too.. Edited March 3, 2008 by Lizzie60 Link to post Share on other sites
MexicanBillBacker Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 why.. you're all that... then me too.. Well...I'm fit. Eat healthy, wear really nice clothes, and I'm popular as ****. But I would never date someone as shallow as you. All I look for is personality, of course I gotta like something about her...the current girl even though she's kinda fat and drinks a tad too much It was her smile that had me. I'm gonna go smoke a cig Link to post Share on other sites
xenonsrt10 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 lets put it this way: i am 21 and drive a $35,000 car. it doesnt help. one of my friends says it makes me into a douche bag. what do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
MexicanBillBacker Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 lets put it this way: i am 21 and drive a $35,000 car. it doesnt help. one of my friends says it makes me into a douche bag. what do you guys think? My buddy drives a 50,000 dollar bmw and he's 17 years old. He's one of the greatest guys you'll meet. Money doesn't make you its all about who is inside Link to post Share on other sites
xenonsrt10 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 really? i dont see how he managed that. but it all depends on the person. my biggest fault is that i dont see myself as a good person, yet do nothing to fix it.i like to use cars and $$$ as a means to keep happy and not worry so much about my women problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yongyong Posted March 3, 2008 Author Share Posted March 3, 2008 when I say I can't date overweight person, I am not talking about those monster you see on jerry springer show. Unless she is tall or athletic, over size 8 is chubby I think (in my standard) Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 when I say I can't date overweight person, I am not talking about those monster you see on jerry springer show. Unless she is tall or athletic, over size 8 is chubby I think (in my standard) lawl, thats way too skinny. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 So, why do items bring people happiness? I can see if you want to do something you cant accomplish without that item - but a car is a good example of a waste of money as a 15k car can accomplish the task of transportation just as well as a 200k, I don't see how you are gaining anything by going the more expensive route. Link to post Share on other sites
xenonsrt10 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 sometimes material goods are the only things that can keep a person from having a total meltdown...like myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Mahatma Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Here is how I feel about this. The person tries as hard as they want to make you happy. If they really don't care that they are fat, then they probably won't care about other things they may do that you wont like. Also it's a self respect issue to me. I am very athletic and the way I see it is if they can't even take care of their body, where else do they lack? By the same token, some people have actual organ problems and disorders that can cause obesity. Bottom line, I find fat very unattractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 hmmm, I have found stuff leaves you pretty empty if thats all you have. I have allot of stuff but I still get bored sometimes. Things are tools to accomplish goals, the things themselves are not fulfilling, but what you can do with them is. Link to post Share on other sites
Arch Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Here is how I feel about this. The person tries as hard as they want to make you happy. If they really don't care that they are fat, then they probably won't care about other things they may do that you wont like. Also it's a self respect issue to me. I am very athletic and the way I see it is if they can't even take care of their body, where else do they lack? By the same token, some people have actual organ problems and disorders that can cause obesity. Bottom line, I find fat very unattractive. hmmm, power lifters can be pretty fat but in no way are they weak, or unhealthy(assuming they don't take steroids) perhaps peoples goals are simply different? Link to post Share on other sites
Leia Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 I don't see it as earned in a hard way like it is for some people out there. You are certainly luckier than I am and I am luckier than some other folks are. In any case, I totally understand your viewpoint. If nothing else, you don't want to date or marry some poor guy and then exert your power over him. If I were a rich man's daughter (or rich myself), I wouldn't want to hook up with someone who will only want me for my money. The guy should be on the girl's level or higher or slightly lower, but not much lower. And nobody can call YOU a gold digger for that, cuz you're wealthy yourself. I may be luckier but I still have to prove myself so that can be hard work! Thanks for understanding my viewpoint which seems to me that you're the only one that can see where I am coming from. I wouldn't want a man to want me for my wealth too. But if a guy with a good heart, respects me and my family and proves to me that he will work hard to be successful in life then why the hell not? I like honest, caring and ambitious men ~ nothing wrong with being ambitious as long as you don't go killing or cheating people to be successful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yongyong Posted March 3, 2008 Author Share Posted March 3, 2008 WTF is going on now we are talking about car? So, why do items bring people happiness? I can see if you want to do something you cant accomplish without that item - but a car is a good example of a waste of money as a 15k car can accomplish the task of transportation just as well as a 200k, I don't see how you are gaining anything by going the more expensive route. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Well...I'm fit. Eat healthy, wear really nice clothes, and I'm popular as ****. But I would never date someone as shallow as you. All I look for is personality, of course I gotta like something about her...the current girl even though she's kinda fat and drinks a tad too much It was her smile that had me. I'm gonna go smoke a cig If you met Lizzie (or anyone who has a list of standards, and believe me, most do) you wouldn't have a clue that she HAD those standards, its not like we all go around with the list emblazoned on our Tshirts, or signs saying "If you smoke don't even bother trying". You might not ever find out what they were- you would just have a sense of not being compatible. Everyone has standards, whether they acknowledge them in a "list" or not. Having standards about someones personality is not that different from having standards about their looks, for example, I would never date someone who didn't have a decent sense of humour- thats not that different than saying I wouldnt date someone shorter than me. Both are fundamental characteristics that the person has no control over. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 lets put it this way: i am 21 and drive a $35,000 car. it doesnt help. one of my friends says it makes me into a douche bag. what do you guys think? my-my.. what do you do for a living? If it's a corvette..then yes..it could... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 My buddy drives a 50,000 dollar bmw and he's 17 years old. He's one of the greatest guys you'll meet. Money doesn't make you its all about who is inside yeah.. his father's car... how can a 17 yr old guy have a 50,000$ car..come on now.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 If you met Lizzie (or anyone who has a list of standards, and believe me, most do) you wouldn't have a clue that she HAD those standards, its not like we all go around with the list emblazoned on our Tshirts, or signs saying "If you smoke don't even bother trying". You might not ever find out what they were- you would just have a sense of not being compatible. Everyone has standards, whether they acknowledge them in a "list" or not. Having standards about someones personality is not that different from having standards about their looks, for example, I would never date someone who didn't have a decent sense of humour- thats not that different than saying I wouldnt date someone shorter than me. Both are fundamental characteristics that the person has no control over. Well said.. some people prefer black people, some people prefer caucasian, is that shallow? I don't think so. it's a preference.. but I guess some people mix 'shallow' with 'preference'.. oh well.. then I'm 'shallow' oops.. 'preferred' Link to post Share on other sites
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