james1987 Posted March 2, 2008 Share Posted March 2, 2008 Hi there, I have a problem I need some advice on. Im going nuts. I think my girlfriend is a little unreasonable, i just wanted to check it isnt just in my head. She does alot of things I feel are unreasonalbe but here's yesterdays scenario. I went to London with my friend on a day out so we can look around. We havnt been out in about 5 months. She was totally fine with that, some saturdays she goes out for shopping trips with her friends too, everything was fine. Anyway, the night before she said dont txt me on the bus because the bus was 7:30 and she would be asleep, i said jokingly, okay i wont. She was in a good mood when i left on the friday night. Saturday morning she sent a txt about 9:30 asking why i handt txt, well of course the reason was because she said not too and I thought she was asleep and i'd wait for he to txt me first just incase i woke her. Anyway later on in the day about at 1o'clock I had a phonecall from my mother saying she had taken the dog up the vets and they'd done tests and found out she had a brain tumour and that she had to be put down (my families dog) I was pretty upset as you can imagine, and I let my gf know. About 2 hours after that she sent a txt saying "you must be sooo busy, what you doing?" That txt to me sounded a bit rude but i just txt back "we're just getting food and have just been in the arcade playing some games" We exchanged txt back and forth all day, 21 in total, all fine. I txt her on the coach saying we were just leaving for the 3 hour trip back. I got settled and tried to have a little sleep becasue i was feeling really tired and a bit down about my dog being put down. I got a txt 2 hours into the journey saying "Thought that saying youre sat on a bus I may have had a couple of txts off you, oh well, better things to do with your free time, see you" I txt back saying sorry, I had fallen asleep. Then we said goodnight. Anyway I txt her in the moring saying was it okay if I phoned her, and she txt back saying "no im busy". I was thinking what is this about, what have i done? I phoned her anyway and after 3 times she answered and started having a go at me about not phoning her on the bus on the way to London and not phoning her on the way home, and that i had ignored her for most of the day! I reminded her that was a bit unfair and that i'd txt her 21 times, and i didnt ring her in the morning becasue she told me not to and that on the way home i was feeling really tired and i fell asleep, then she just hung up! To me this all seems very rude. 1: i wasnt ignoring her, i sent 21txts that day. 2: she said not to phone in the morning, and on the night return trip i was tired and fell asleep 3: Isnt this a little harsh after my dog has just died? Its like shes finding things to have a go at me about for no reason. Surly she is over reacting a little? I explained all this in another phonecall and she hung up again. I am feeling pretty hurt over this and how insensitive she is being. What do you think? I'd appreciate any feedback. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
SeraBella Posted March 2, 2008 Share Posted March 2, 2008 She seems very needy. Is she always like this or was she just jealous that you did something without her? If I was your friend I'd be annoyed if you texted your gf all day while we were supposed to have a day together. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 2, 2008 Share Posted March 2, 2008 Your girlfriend needs an attitude change. She's very unreasonable and seems to think that the whole relationship should revolve around her wants and needs. She's having a go at you because she's feeling you've neglected her, but her actions are not in any way justified. She's apparantly oblivious that you have your own life, especially just enjoying some time with your friends and just recently losing your dog. You could have a talk with her about it, but she will in no way be receptive to the idea that she was at fault, so if this should happen again, let her know before hand either in person or by phone that you'll be busy that day and you'd prefer that you'd talk to her that night. Because it's not fair of her to interrupt you on your outings throughout the day and expect you to be compliant to her demands, while should you text or call her, she's unresponsive and blames you on interrupting her. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 I agreew with everyone else...my gosh, she seems to think your life should be about her every single minute. And she DID pick an especially bad day to act up like that. You are right she's being insensitive and she needs to be told so. And tell her you'd like to spend a little time away with your friends, without her expecting you to text 20 times a day. That's ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
e.clipse Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 yes, of course she is being highly unreasonable. from what you wrote, i think her unreasonableness stems from insecurity and neediness. if you have not done anything to lessen her trust in you, then it might simply be an innate characteristic of her personality; and it doesn't go away very easily, i'm afraid. i'd suggest you leave her alone for a while. she has hung up on you twice already--for no valid reason--and that is immature and disrespectful. you calling her back is only going to feed the fire. you could send her a text telling her to give you a ring when she is able to have an adult/mature conversation with you, and then just wait for it. once this happens, you need to set the record straight: + you informed her where you were going, what you were going to be doing, and who you would be with the night before, so it is not like you were "ignoring" her. she knew aforehand that you'd be with your friend--busy--and yet still kept a light conversation with her via text throughout the whole day. it was actually nice of you to do that, to still "include" her in your day--stress that. also stress that the texts could have been a lot nicer and heartwarming/cutsy/whatever had she not been in that mood. + she told you to not call her on the way because it was early, and she did not want to be woken up. you did what she asked, and decided to simply wait for her to contact you, to be sure you weren't waking her. nothing questionable there. + people go out. people get tired when they go out, especially if the trip lasts for a while. it's not that you did anything wrong in falling asleep out of tiredness, but rather that she perceived it that way. she should have understood, and i honestly don't think most people would have apologized. yet you did, so she should have "accepted" the apology and dropped it. and lastly: + she is completely blowing things out of proportion. on a day designed for you and a friend, in which you received some unfortunate news, she should have been supportive to you. instead she went on some tirade that was about her, her, her, and her. what does she think you are, anyway? her little hamster? Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 what does she think you are, anyway? her little hamster? Couldn't have put it better myself Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 She's being incredibly needy, controlling, unreasonable and nasty. If my dog was just put down and my boyfriend was more concerned about getting texts and attention I wouldn't be anywhere near as understanding as you are being. So- you text her 21 times and it wasn't enough. Did she even comment on the death of your family pet- offer her support? If this is the kind of behaviour you are used to... I'd be finding myself another gf! I wouldn't be chasing after her! I think she owes you an apology in a big way, and she should be the one chasing after you to give it to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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