Cell phone off on Saturday night.. Should I end it?

[northernman]

As for a little background..

 

I am 33, and so is my girlfriend. We are in a long distance relationship. (overseas)

 

We talk every night for the past month while apart, and she is coming to visit in April. She is 3 hours ahead . So 6pm here is 9pm there.

 

She is very possessive and jealous, and constantly thinks I must be playing her for a fool, and that I have other girlfriends...Nothing could be further from the truth, and I always reassure her that I have no problem waiting a month for her to come.

 

So, last night(Saturday night) I called her home phone, and she was not home. (about 10pm her time). Then I called her cell, and it was off.. I tried again at 12 her time, and the same thing happened.

 

Since both of us are a little jealous, she knows that it would bother me a lot if all of a sudden she is not around on a Saturday night. Not being home is fine, but turning the phone off is what bothers me...

 

Should I just end it with no contact? Call and ask what happened? Or wait for her to call me? (She heard my messages I am sure, as I was asking why she was not home with cell phone off).

[Nocturnal]

Why would you end it over something so trivial?

 

If you called her and she didn't answer, leave a message. And then the ball is in her court. Depending on how long you've been "seeing" each other, you still need to realize that you both need to have the ability to live your own lives. That includes going out on a saturday night without having to worry about whether or not you need to pick up the phone to talk in the middle of having a good time. And the cell being off could amount to a million things not necessarily implying she shut it off to ignore you, take that into consideration.

 

While I am all for having a healthy amount of contact in a long distance relationship, not talking one day in a week isn't exactly something that warrants dropping the realtionship all together.

[northernman]

Thanks for the advice...

 

As an example, one Friday night I did not call her, and she was very upset..(She didn't call me either).. But she still brings this up almost daily.

 

She has only called me 2 times and they were ..(It is expensive for her to call)

 

1. To tell me she will not be home because she is going out with a friend..

2. Yesterday afternoon to say hello...

 

So, when she called me just to say hello, I thought maybe she was calling early to get the call out of the way as she has plans later...

 

She hasn't called me today.. Do you think I should call her this evening and as I usually do?

[Citizen Erased]

Yes you should break up with her. But not because of her leaving her phone off Way too much jealousy and drama in this relationship.

[Dman]

I would say that the fact that she's jealous and whatnot shows that you have someone that cares for you a lot. But then, reading about the whole long distance thing shows some problems. I don't think the issue is her phone being off. I think you are just living in two seperate worlds.

I have tried the long distance thing and decided to myself it wasn't worth it and ended it.

The question you have to ask yourself is whether you think this relationship is worth it? If you think you have something worth fighting for then by all means stay together. But it seems there are too many problems in the way of you having the happiness that other couples have.

How often do you speak/meet to actually discuss the problems face to face?

[northernman]

I met her while I was on vacation, and we saw each other daily for about a month, and now she will come here in April. (after 2 months of being apart)

 

We talk every night for the past month. So when her phone was off, and she was not home, it leads me to think negative thoughts.

[northernman]

The issue she has is this..

 

She is 3 hours ahead of me... So, she never has any idea of what i do every night. If she goes to bed at midnight, it is only 9 here..

[Dman]

The thing with people calling each other every night is exactly this - the one night they don't call, and the pattern is broken, the other person is always bound to feel confused/worried about it. It's like using the same lottery numbers every week, and the one week you don't get a ticket your numbers come up. Either stick to the same pattern and buy a ticket every week, or just don't use the same numbers every week. In other words, you've either got to call each other every night, or establish that sometimes you may not call. If you've established that then there's much less to worry about.

Long distance relationships are hard. The thing you've got to work out is whether there is a light at the end of the tunnel - a time you see coming up in the future where you will both be together and not so far apart.

The trouble with these types of relationships are you never know what the other person is doing, and it's rarely easy to find out.

[mylovegrowsdeeper]

This doesn't appear to be a very healthy relationship. Do you WANT to be in a relationship with someone who goes out of her way to make you upset? Are you two that bored with one another unless their is some sense of melodrama going on in your lives?

[northernman]

She told me that her phone had been broken for 4 days, and since she doesn't use her cell, she neglected to tell me..

 

However, we talk every single night. She could have called to tell me she was going out, or called me when she got in, etc.

 

I don't know what to believe, and I am losing interest. She also told me she has to protect herself, which is why she didn't call me, because she is scared it won't work out with us. The whole ldr thing is difficult.

[electric_sheep]

I have no idea how you can stand being in a relationship with so little trust.

[dani_girl33]

It really doesn't sound like things are going too well. If you are losing interest, then it's best you end the relationship before you go off and do something you will regret. You don't want to hurt her, but then again, you don't want to be waiting around and wasting time with someone that you don't think you can be with forever.

I tried the whole long distance thing...except it was just 2 1/2 hours away. It lasted 6 months. It was soo annoying because I couldn't see him when I wanted. I don't understand how you can put up with the whole long distance thing. It drove me crazy.

Best thing to do is end it. Unless you really think it is worth the struggle to keep you two together.

I'm sure you could find that perfect someone in the same city that you live in.

[Bryanp]

She had to protect herself which is why she did not call you? I think this speak volumes. I would be losing interest also. She sounds like a head case.

[amymarieca]

Oh my gosh, I don't mean to be rude, but that post gave me a headache.

 

I can't get over the fact that you guys are mature adults and are acting this way. It sounds like way too much drama for me. Who cares if she had her cell phone off? You guys seem to keep each other on a short leash. That's a big indicator that the relationship will not last very long. You really need to get over this and stop making a big deal of nothing. I would die if my boyfriend expected me to call him every time I left my house.

 

It sounds like the two of you have trust issues. I would end it.

[northernman]

Well, thats the problem with a South American woman..

 

You feel more loved, and they are more passionate, however it turns into this jealous struggle.

 

She just tried to call me, and my phone was busy. (overseas calls don't go through for call waiting)

 

She was very upset. She thought MY PHONE was off now, and I must have been with another girl. I had to explain for 20 minutes that I am home alone watching Obama and Clinton..