bewildered Posted July 4, 2003 Share Posted July 4, 2003 I have a problem I would like some thought on. My girlfriend and I met a while back and after some really tough times due to ex's and children We decided to live together. I moved in in November and moved out 2 days later because she felt she wasn't ready to give up control. Well a I have moved in again and she thinks I am trying to take control. I am not trying to take control and would like nothing more than to just help around the house. She is not used to people helping and she is definately used to being in control. WHich I understand. I am getting out of a marriage as is she where there were a lot of issues. I do not want to fight and argue. When she gets in this mode of I don't need you I feel like a complete outsider and totally alone. How do I convince her I am not trying to take over and how do you tell someone that all you want is to be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 4, 2003 Share Posted July 4, 2003 Neither of you are ready for another relationship so soon, in my opinion. She is certainly not. She needs time to be on her own and get the space she needs to heal from her last ordeal. You can't convince her of anything. She has to do that herself. Move out to a place of your own and stay there for a while until moods, emotions and all else have stabilized. Link to post Share on other sites
queenpamrules Posted July 4, 2003 Share Posted July 4, 2003 well now, i too am in the same sorta situation! my question to you is , are you trying to hard or perhaps shoved up her butt to where she feels like she has know space? i think she needs to be herself and maybe finds that hard to do if you are always "trying to help" maybe back off a bit and give her , her space . you did say she was used to being in control, thats a hard thing to give up , trust me i know!!!!!!! good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
bewildered Posted July 4, 2003 Share Posted July 4, 2003 I hear everyone saying back off. I got no problem with backing off. As long as she is willing to step forward. I am coming out of a real ****ty unappreciated relationship that sucked real pond water. I never had anyone who really gave a crap about me. At times this lady can really show she cares but at others its like I could fall off teh face of the earth and not be missed. Link to post Share on other sites
queenpamrules Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 ya know.......i have to wonder why you would want to be with such a "control freak"?!? if you are coming out of a " bad marriage " maybe tony is right......niether one of you seem ready for another relationship??? you also said problems due to ex"s and children????? well, let me be the first to tell ya, i know how ya feel!~! i am to a "control freak" and have know desire to stop!!!! i have been large and in charge for most of my life and i"m sure i take it to extremes. but, when things need done or said , i know it will get done (right) because i am doing it! and about the ex and children thing exactly how many ex"s are there? and is it that you have kids or she has kids and what is the problem there! like i said before i am in the same sort of situation and i dont know what to do myself! i hope things work out for you!! good luck!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts