AlwaysTomorrow Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 (edited) Her boyfriend shouldn't be hounded or made to feel like crap daily just because he tells the truth either. If she cannot handle his candor or character, maybe she should date someone else. Maybe there is a difference here between love-making and sex to him. Edited March 5, 2008 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Inappropriate Commentary Removed Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 No, her boyfriend is an inconsiderate jerk! Look at the whole picture here, not just this one situation. He disrespects her MOST of the time and it seems he doesn't give her the time of day, listen to her, enjoy her company. He makes her feel bad. There are just some things that shouldn't be asked, let alone volunteered - Sexual partners and comparing is one of those things. Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysTomorrow Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 (edited) It's ok to be alone sometimes and one should should not base their value on another's opinion. I stick with my last stance: if you can't handle his character and candor, why are you with him??? Are you looking to change who he is? That's not going to happen. Edited March 5, 2008 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Removed Inappropriate Commentary Link to post Share on other sites
Deanster Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 We'd all like to be the 'best', but that's an awfully high bar. Seems likely to me that the 'best' was some girl he won in a street fight, or something equally non-repeatable. Putting myself in your shoes, I'd take it as a challenge, and go take advantage of the Interweb, and see what I could learn. Figure to spend 2-3 years working on 'getting your black belt' in hot ways to please your man. There's an endless quantity of 'improve your intimacy' guides online, and even if you never succeed, you'll have a darn fine time trying. But really, comparison is the fastest way to misery I know of, in just about any area of life. Take what you have, which sounds amazing (I'd kill or die for the kind of intimacy you share) and work on enjoying and further improving it. In the worst case, you'll have the best collection of hot moves of anyone you know, and your guy will go around with a contented smile all the time. How bad can that be? Link to post Share on other sites
Author FolderWife Posted March 5, 2008 Author Share Posted March 5, 2008 I already said that I can never be the best. Without the momentum of the initial passion, I have no chance. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 If it's that incredibly important to you, tell him you want to be his "best" ever, and ask him to help you be that for him. Get into his fantasies. It's not necessarily the heat of first passion that can make a lover the best, it can be the fulfillment of desire. Link to post Share on other sites
Grrlish Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 It is beyond me why anyone would ever ask if they're the best that someone has ever had. Link to post Share on other sites
ladyintights Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 The best probably was when he was a teenager or very early twenties with his hormones THROUGH THE ROOF.. something he just is not in control of anymore. It might be with someone he fantasized over for a long period of time before he was given the chance to have sex with her.. I guess there could be many reasons, but I wouldn't get too worried about it. Best sex doesn't keep a relationship going obviously.. she's long gone. You are here.. you are better in other more important ways. Is that enough? If you need more, I guess you'd first have to learn what made his past experience so memorable and desirable. But hey, 50 women!! Who knows what circumstances were involved. Just be careful before you open pandora's box. You probably won't be able to shut it and the uncontrollable thoughts that come afterwards. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FolderWife Posted March 7, 2008 Author Share Posted March 7, 2008 It is beyond me why anyone would ever ask if they're the best that someone has ever had. I didn't exactly ask, "Am I the best sex you've ever had?" I just knew that I wasn't because the couple of times that I told him he was my best, he didn't say it back. For a long time, I had just hoped that he didn't realize that I wanted to hear him say it. My gut told me, however, that he just couldn't say it because it wasn't the truth. Finally I got tired of guessing so I just flat out asked him who it was. He wouldn't tell me. I don't want to know who the best is, I just want to be the best. But that's something I will die wanting I guess. There's no use harping on this, because either I am or I'm not. What I am dying to do is explain to him WHY he is my best (the passion, desire, insyncness, etc.) and see if his best was better in those areas, or like someone mentioned earlier just had a better technique. But at this point I'm afraid of the answer. I couldn't handle knowing that he shared this kind of chemestry with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I couldn't handle knowing that he shared this kind of chemestry with someone else. Some of the best sex I ever had - the most amazing chemistry, was with a guy I didn't even particularly like that much. He and I were just great for each other in bed. I will tell you this - I would never go back. Why? There are more important things than just chemistry. Take care that you don't lose what you have grasping for something illusory. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I couldn't handle knowing that he shared this kind of chemestry with someone else. But didn't you share that kind of chemistry with your exhusband? Link to post Share on other sites
Author FolderWife Posted March 8, 2008 Author Share Posted March 8, 2008 NO my husband and I didn't have chemestry. He wasn't the worst I had, but he wasn't very good. Link to post Share on other sites
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