Angels&Airwaves Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 I recently took the contact details of a girl who approached me late last week and I was content at the time because it’s not often a girl will come up to me and give me her contact details, but over the weekend and today I am beginning to wonder if I need my head examined. Firstly the girl hasn’t stopped texting me, every time I go on AIM she instantly comes on (coincidentally of course) and starts talking to me, right I’ve heard of talking, getting to know each other and generally being interested, but this is just over-board. She now wants to meet me after work tomorrow, for a walk and getting to know each other sessions, but I’m very reluctant. I mean she is a nice enough girl from first contact, but she just doesn’t seem my type, and I hate to sound shallow, but I’m not physically attracted to her either. Usually I’m straight talking enough to tell someone when I’m not interested in doing something, but I don’t want to bring down her self-esteem or confidence, by rejecting her straight out, so what should I do? She is a frequent visitor to the small book shop I work in, it’s like I can’t escape. Link to post Share on other sites
LikesMeNot Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 if you "don't care", about her and just want to get out, then tell her you're not comfortable with her extensively communicating with you. if you do care, or she knows another potential prospect, you don't want to crush her and come across as a jerk. just tell her you like her a lot, but you aren't ready to pursue a relationship yet. Stay calm; it works. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angels&Airwaves Posted March 3, 2008 Author Share Posted March 3, 2008 if you "don't care", about her and just want to get out, then tell her you're not comfortable with her extensively communicating with you. if you do care, or she knows another potential prospect, you don't want to crush her and come across as a jerk. just tell her you like her a lot, but you aren't ready to pursue a relationship yet. Stay calm; it works. How can I care about someone I’ve met a couple of times in the bookshop and who I have spoken to about twice? I don’t have any feelings for her at all and she seems to want to get to know me better, which I don’t mind, I just don’t want to give her false hope by saying I really like her, and I don’t want to lead her on, because that’s the kind of behaviour I abhor. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 Yikes, she sounds scary. Coming off way too strong for someone you hardly know. For a person such as her, I say you gotta go about breaking it off to her firmly. I recommend either giving her a call, text, or im to let her know you appreciate her gestures, but you're overwhelmed by her approaches and would appreciate if she stops her texting and iming. At least lessen it. And if comes back at you with a verbose response that in no way says she understands, then you know you gotta cut all ties with her. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 You have to be honest then. I think you're worried about being honest because you sense she's a little unstable perhaps? The constant texting, msn-ing...that is going overboard. I dread having the "I am not interested" conversation, but it sounds as if it has to be done. I'd recommend that if she asks you ou again to tell her you think she's nice but are currently pursueing someone else and want to see where that leads. Sometimes the cold harsh truth of "I don't like you at all" can bring you more heartache than is worth. I am a fan of honesty- but not hurting someone. That has been my famous let down line... "I think you're nice- but I am kind of interested in someone else and I want to see where that leads"... I hope you don't have a problem with her saying she wants to maintain a friendship and then continue to stalk you.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angels&Airwaves Posted March 3, 2008 Author Share Posted March 3, 2008 Yikes, she sounds scary. Coming off way too strong for someone you hardly know. For a person such as her, I say you gotta go about breaking it off to her firmly. I recommend either giving her a call, text, or im to let her know you appreciate her gestures, but you're overwhelmed by her approaches and would appreciate if she stops her texting and iming. At least lessen it. And if comes back at you with a verbose response that in no way says she understands, then you know you gotta cut all ties with her. I was thinking of communicating to her less on IM, I mean I haven’t replied to many of her texts, but she comes into the bookshop every week at the time when I work, so I can’t exactly escape her, my friend says I should go for the walk and see if my opinion changes of her, but I don’t think it will. She seems nice enough, but if I’m not attracted to her physically and I’m not to hot on her personality from the little I’ve seen of it, then what’s the point in carrying on? I’m just too much of a coward to be blunt about it, but I might have to be sooner rather than later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angels&Airwaves Posted March 3, 2008 Author Share Posted March 3, 2008 You have to be honest then. I think you're worried about being honest because you sense she's a little unstable perhaps? The constant texting, msn-ing...that is going overboard. I dread having the "I am not interested" conversation, but it sounds as if it has to be done. I'd recommend that if she asks you ou again to tell her you think she's nice but are currently pursueing someone else and want to see where that leads. Sometimes the cold harsh truth of "I don't like you at all" can bring you more heartache than is worth. I am a fan of honesty- but not hurting someone. That has been my famous let down line... "I think you're nice- but I am kind of interested in someone else and I want to see where that leads"... I hope you don't have a problem with her saying she wants to maintain a friendship and then continue to stalk you.... Thanks for that, I’ll probably say that to her, I wouldn’t mind speaking to her occasionally on IM, but I just don’t want to sit back and do nothing and let her believe she is in with a chance when I do not feel the same way. I’m just afraid I’ll knock the wind out of her sails; I know how bad someone can feel after rejection, I’ve been there a few times, it’s not a nice place. You're joking about the stalking right? Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 You're joking about the stalking right? Well her behaviour, should it continue, might warrant a restraining order... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angels&Airwaves Posted March 4, 2008 Author Share Posted March 4, 2008 Well her behaviour, should it continue, might warrant a restraining order... Now that’s made me wet myself, though on a more serious note, I did show some enthusiasm when I first met her which was down to the pleasant surprise to have a girl ask for my contact details as it doesn’t happen often, but I didn’t expect her to be quite so strong. It makes it all the more difficult to let her down, really. I’m gonna be more distant and just place her in the friend zone, so she gets the message that way. Link to post Share on other sites
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