i really H8 my mum

[devil123]

ok hi people, this is my 1st post and i only made a acc cuz something really pissed me off today. my mum is like the bitchiest person i ever met in my whole life. ive been enduring this for mor than 8 years now and im starting to get fed up of it. my mum expects me to be a nerd like my 22 year old sis and im trying my best. wth im like taking my german exams and i just started learning that language, and i got a pretty low mark. i got 14/37 and most people got lower than me. the highest mark was only 34/37. the lowest mark was 4/37. i didnt revise for the test cuz i just had an operation and i had the operation of tuesday which is the day when my german teacher told us about the test. i didnt even know their was a test and when i got back home, i tried to revise abit and do some work with my german but then my mum came in and looked at my test result and shouted at me, hitting me and kicking me. i was so fcking angry, usually im all calm, funny and nice but whenever i see my mum hit me for something lil like this, i get all fcking mad. i told her wt everyone got and she still hits me. hey im only 14 year old... why do i have to endure this... she then say something about my sis. she said that my sis is so much smarter than me and she rather have my sis then me. she then say i should just go and die and never come back again. man that really hurt my heart! i h8 people comparing me with other ppls, bring back bad mmrs. i know i could have done ALOT better but i didnt even know there was a test coming up!!! i wanted to hit her back and call her names, but i didnt cuz shes still my mum. sometimes my mum is nice and kind to me, but sometimes she is acting like a mad bitch. b4 i use to love my mum, but now she shouts at me everyday and mostly hits me everyday too. i shouted out in anger and said," you dont even know any thing about german!" she then said she never learned it but if she learned it b4, she could be alot better than me. she then hitted me on the face and i ran out of the house bringing my laptop and wrote this thread.

[Ocean-Blue]

What you describe is very unsettling d123. It can't be easy living with a person like that. I cannot believe she hit you (especially after having had an operation).

 

The situation you are in is NOT healthy. The feelings and reactions you're having are very normal. You mother is someone who should protect you, someone who should encourage.

 

Sure parents get annoyed at us for not performing up to their expecations. But to hit you and belittle you like your mom has been doing is just wrong.

 

Do you have friends/family you can talk to about this? How about someone at school?

[devil123]

What you describe is very unsettling d123. It can't be easy living with a person like that. I cannot believe she hit you (especially after having had an operation).

 

The situation you are in is NOT healthy. The feelings and reactions you're having are very normal. You mother is someone who should protect you, someone who should encourage.

 

Sure parents get annoyed at us for not performing up to their expecations. But to hit you and belittle you like your mom has been doing is just wrong.

 

Do you have friends/family you can talk to about this? How about someone at school?

yes i got friends, but my whole family is like turning on me. My dad use to be very nice and a bit annoying, but I still liked him, but now its like the whole world is against me. I want to tell my friends, but I don't want them to either pity me or tell everyone... it's not I dont trust them, it's just I think it's better for me to keep it in my heart

[Ocean-Blue]

yes i got friends, but my whole family is like turning on me. My dad use to be very nice and a bit annoying, but I still liked him, but now its like the whole world is against me. I want to tell my friends, but I don't want them to either pity me or tell everyone... it's not I dont trust them, it's just I think it's better for me to keep it in my heart

 

The whole world is not against. I can understand why it might feel like that right now...but there is support for you! But you have to be willing to seek it out d123. Talk to someone. You don't have to begin by telling your friends if you are not comfortable. How about a counselor at school? Is there a helpline in your area?

 

The fact that you are posting here means something, doesn't it? Perhaps you are ready to talk about it.

[devil123]

The whole world is not against. I can understand why it might feel like that right now...but there is support for you! But you have to be willing to seek it out d123. Talk to someone. You don't have to begin by telling your friends if you are not comfortable. How about a counselor at school? Is there a helpline in your area?

 

The fact that you are posting here means something, doesn't it? Perhaps you are ready to talk about it.

 

 

Yeah, i do have some, but i dont wanna make the mess i made bigger. I feel safer to tell people here, cause i can post it annonymously.

[Ocean-Blue]

Yeah, i do have some, but i dont wanna make the mess i made bigger. I feel safer to tell people here, cause i can post it annonymously.

 

But the mess will only get messier d123. It's not healthy for you to be surrounded by such negativity.

 

Do you have any options as to how to deal with this situation? Will your mother listen to reason? Can you sit her down and tell her that what she has done to you is hurting you on many levels (as obvious as this is to you and I, perhaps she needs you to hear how it's affecting you).

 

You are far too young to have to deal with this. What sort of relationship do you have with your sister? Can you talk to her? Will she help you?

[devil123]

But the mess will only get messier d123. It's not healthy for you to be surrounded by such negativity.

 

Do you have any options as to how to deal with this situation? Will your mother listen to reason? Can you sit her down and tell her that what she has done to you is hurting you on many levels (as obvious as this is to you and I, perhaps she needs you to hear how it's affecting you).

 

You are far too young to have to deal with this. What sort of relationship do you have with your sister? Can you talk to her? Will she help you?

 

I try to tell my mum stuff, but she's always like not listening to me and she thinks if i explain to her, she thinks im talking back to her and she then slaps me... I don't know how to contact my sister. she's now at colledge and only my parents knows my sister's phone no.

[littlekitty]

Your parents sound very controlling and your mother is abusing you. You don't slap and kick a 14 year old for getting a bad test result. That's an awful thing to do.

 

Unfortunately we can give you all the advice in the world, but we can't make this better for you. The only way things are going to change is if you reach out to someone IRL and let them know this is going on.

 

Otherwise we are here if you need to vent.

[Ocean-Blue]

You will need a support system if you are going to deal with this d123. Try to find a way to get in touch with your sister. Tell your mom you need her help with homework or something.

 

You can't go at this alone.

[HokeyReligions]

I don't know the whole family history and only what you have posted, but I will tell you this. At 14 you are still a child and what you described can only be called abuse if it is factual. I am not saying you are lying. I am only saying that your interpretaion may be different than the law's interpretation of abuse.

 

14 or 40 doesn't matter if you are a victim of abuse and the responsibility for abuse is NOT that of the victim=you.

 

Your mother could be ill. She could be suffering from depression or bi-polar disorder. It can happen late in life or build over years and go totally undected because it's a subtle disease. She could have other illnesses whose symptoms exhibit themselves in abuse or violence.

 

Whatever the issue, you can not handle this on your own and you need to get some outside help for this. That help will also be a support system.

 

Talk to a school guidance counselor or call your local mental health center and ask to talk with someone confidentially. In many cases it can be anonymous.

[City_girl]

I disagree with ocean view? sorry if i got the name wrong...

 

You can get through this alone. look at the facts, look at how clever and resourceful you are.

You know the score.....The one person in the whole world you are trained to trust is not holding up her end of the bargain. ,Still

....You found a way to reach out to others's and get support without making the situation worse. I think this shows a great level of maturity. You instinctively know this is an invalidating environment. You know how to hold yourself in the world....trust yourself, you are strong , you are a man even at your young age.!! You are protecting your Mother because you are more emotionally mature than her

 

Your Mother will always love you but she may not always be able to see your shorcommings and minor failures as your making your way in the world and not a reflection of her. Mother's arnd fathers are weird at times. Some need their children to do better than them and the boundaries can get blurry. They see the kids as like an extra limb, a reflection of their lives only. maybe your sister's success allows her to feel successful?

 

I have an 18yr old and we are very close. I have had to learn that she is she and Iam me .

 

My advice is keep doing what you are doing and be kind to your mother without taking the physical abuse. trust your perception and do as well as you can in school for your life as an adult.

[Arch]

lol ****, I don't care who it is - if someone ever touches me I make sure they regret it, seriously its time to sit down with your mother and talk to her, tell her you will no longer put up with her bull**** and that if she doesn't want to listen then you will find someplace else to go.