What do I do

[dyabolik]

I've only been married for a month and it seems like it's all going to **** already. His sex has turned into next to nothing and he is constantly in my mother's face. Not arguing with her but everytime she is around they are flirting with each other, playing around, on the phone with each other all the time. I told my husband that I don't like it and it makes me feel uncomfortable but he just says I'm overreacting and I need to stop nagging him and he continues to do it. The reason I even joined this site is because it happened again last night. I came home from work and he was on the phone. When I walked through the door he was just getting off the phone. I asked him who that was and he said it was my mother. I asked him what she wanted and he said nothing and that she was just telling him that she was sick. He said that she called him to bull**** with him on the phone. This morning I asked my mother what she wanted yesterday on the phone and she said that she didn't want anything and that he called her. So I called him and asked him why he lied to me about who called who and all he could say is "Oh you're back on that **** again". Maybe I am overreacting but it really does not make me feel good to know that I gotta watch my mother and new husband acting like they are dating. What do I do about this situation?

[amaysngrace]

Does your mother have a husband? Or a BF? She sounds like she has issues.

 

I wouldn't be so mad at my husband as I would be at my mom if I were you. She's overstepping her boundaries here by a lot. Tell her to go find her own guy if she needs to get laid.

 

Stand up for yourself and don't put up with this crap. But take it to her.

 

You hold the ace card darling. You are the one who will have her grandbabies and can move them far away from her if you'd like to. You have more power than she does. You have your whole life ahead of you. Hers is half over. You don't need to vocalize everything but don't forget you do have power in this situation that is making you feel powerless. Your mom sounds like she needs to be slapped down.

 

And it needs to be you who does it. Not your husband...you. Be a woman and handle it. Tell your mom you and your husband don't want to see her or hear from her more than once a week.

 

Then tell your husband what you told your mom and hope that he's okay with it.

[dyabolik]

my mother was married for a long time and my father passed away two years ago. when he first died she was in her "depressed" mode. then she broke out of that and became an all out whore. she is 52 years old and acts like she is 21 and it's just disgusting. she has no new husband or boyfriend at the moment but she has alot of "booty call" friends. i agree, she is definitely overstepping her boundaries. she even went as far to tell me that she likes when he calls her because he makes her laugh and he is her friend. i told her that he is not her friend he is my husband. i haven't talked to either one of them for two days just trying to sort all this out. i really don't like putting my business on the internet like that but it seems like you get an honest answer when you ask people that you don't know. when me and my husband first started dating they were cool but a normal cool. then she got mad at some dumb **** and called him a n***** so he stopped talking to her for like 2 months. he was the bigger person and forgave her for what she said and they got back cool again but this time it is getting really ridiculous. i can't take this any more. they both need to stop this. it's very easy for me not to have any contact with my mother again but i am married now and i feel that my husband should be the one to change because he made a vow to me and i feel he is totally disrespecting me right now

[amaysngrace]

I'm sorry you lost your dad. XO

 

It isn't up to your husband to change or your mom. It's up to you. You can't make somebody change you know? Your mom will do just as she pleases and so will your husband. And you can do the same. You can do something or you can do nothing.

 

You have to stand up for yourself. I know it's hard to do that but you really should try to take control of this situation.

 

Something good may happen or maybe not. But it's a guarantee that nothing good will happen if you don't do anything.

 

So think it through and make a plan and then stick to it. It doesn't seem like either one of them is putting you first. It's up to you to do that.

[blind_otter]

Well I don't think the husband is an innocent party in all this. He's totally not listening to his wife's needs and wishes.

[Ocean-Blue]

Both your mother and H are overstepping their boundaries here.

 

You need to have a talk with each of them (alone). Tell your mother how you feel; tell her that you feel her behaviour towards your H is inappropriate and detrimental to your M. Tell him that you will not put up with him allowing your mother to flirt with him, etc.

 

You need to take a stand. They may see it as harmless, but it's obviously affecting you (and rightly so).