calling back...

[mikeraw]

I apologize in advance for bringing up this age-old question again, and the answer is probably going to boil down to "it varies from case to case", but, here it goes... when and how to call back?

 

I hate playing games but I understand that waiting to call, pretending not to be 100% interested in another person, and just keeping the object of your affection on her toes are just some parts of the human mating dance. We don't have attractive plumage, we don't literally do a dance to show off our physical abilities, and we don't go around spreading our pherormones to mark our territory.

 

Having said that, even though I hate it, I wait a few days before callign a girl. Now this is not too bad if you have 20 other numbers to keep you occupied, but even then, I think there is something that I'm doing wrong.

 

Case in point is this... I met a beautiful girl at a bar a few weeks ago. She gave me her number on a Friday night. I had to go out of town on Monday and so did she. So I called Sunday to say hi.

 

No answer.

 

Called a couple of hours later, no answer, so I left a message.

 

Pretty standard stuff... I waited a couple of days before calling, called once, called again and finally left a message... She never acknowledged my calls, which is fine, you win some, you lose some... but why give me her number? Yeah, maybe she didnt remember me, maybe she regretted giving it to me, etc, etc...

 

So I come back from my trip on Wednesday and by pure coincidence I decide to finally get a paid subscription to match.com. I'd had a one of those free accounts where you can only wink at people and not much else, but I decided to get a paid out of curiosity. There's a feature where you can see who'sseen your profile and that same girl had looked at my profile.

 

I wrote her telling her that I thought I'd met her, it would've been nice to be friends, but that's ok, etc...

 

She then wrote back a few days later with some story about not remembering me at the time she heard my message, etc... etc...

 

Well, since then we've hit it off, but if it hadn't been for that HUMONGOUS coincidence that I happened to join match.com and she had happened to check out my profile, it wouldn't have worked out.

 

The phone call would've been it. In fact, I had erased her number from my phone already... I didn't take it personally.

 

I hit it off with about 40% of the girls that give me their number, which is a pretty decent ratio, I guess... I'm not a player or anything, and I'm not Brad Pitt, so that's pretty good. But how frustrating is it to know that a single call can make or break a potential relationship! I moved from out of town a while ago and I'm never going to change my number because too many people have it. If a girl sees a weird area code, there's a chance she might not answer simply because of that area code... then I'd be forced to leave a message at the first call...

 

Is there a formula to avoid losing through a phone call before actually even getting to talk?! I ask this because on Sunday I got a really pretty girl's number... if Jennifer Aniston is a 9, then this one is a 10. I already waited a couple of days and today is my day to set something up for Thursday...

 

(I say THUR because I already have something set up for tomorrow, Wednesday, which reminds me of another point... How does a guy cancel a date without hurting the girl's feelings or ego? I'm conservative and under the impression that it's only the girl that can cancel on guys, not the other way around... but I digress...)

 

Any tips on calling back? The first call?

 

Thanks in advance!