Jealousy eating at me

[macca002]

I have this awesome girlfriend and we have nearly been together for a year. The whole thing is she is in bording school, as I am 19 and she is 17.

However, I am starting to turn into a real jealous boyfriend. Everything she does without me I get jealous about, its soooo stupid, but I cant help it. Its really eating at me. I care about her so much, and i feel like this is going to cause us to break up. eg. being too demanding, not letting her have fun etc.

 

So can anyone help me PLEASE!!! Its driving me insane. She still keeps in contact with her ex boyfriends and she has more male friends than I have. I am continuously going green with jealousy like when she goes dancing with mates and I cant go etc.

 

HELP ME

[Tony T]

I think it's pretty nuts to date someone who makes you feel so insecure and jealous...but that's my opinion.

 

First, somehow you need to feel more secure. Second, you need to understand that people a free to do whatever they want. You can't hold them back. Third, you make the choice of how you want to feel. YOU are making yourself jealous, she isn't. She has NOTHING to do with the way you decide to feel....YOU do.

 

The next time she wants to do something without you, before you start feeling jealous...stop and think of another way to feel....work real hard at it. Tell her you hope she has a great time....and really work to feel that way. Then feel happy you have some time away from her. After all if she was some clingy, needy person who couldn't leave you even to go to the bathroom, you would be posting here about how sick you were of her and how you could get rid of her. I guess we're just never quite happy with what we have.

 

Be a man. The worst thing in the world that can happen is she will find someone else she likes here or there and move on. I don't mean to make you feel bad...and, as you know I can't because that's your decision, but this girl is 17....only a baby....and has a lot of growing, maturing and exploring to do. The chances of her staying with you the rest of her life a 1 in 987,630,295,372,994,311. So with those odds, it's pretty clear that the best you can do is enjoy her company when she's around you and set her free to do what she wants when she's not.

 

And I'm going to let you in on a secret, but don't tell anybody. The more you show her this jealous crap, the sooner she'll be gone. That's not what women admire in a man. Women know that a man who is jealous is unsure of himself and doesn't feel good about himself. They don't like that at all. They want a man who is tough and a man who can do just fine without them. Second, if you continue to be jealous about the way she uses her time and the friends she keeps, she will drop you like a hot potato.

 

She's going to drop you anyway because, as I said, she is way too young to settle down. But you will keep her longer by growing up now and realizing you don't control other people so you may as well be supportive of whatever way they want to spend their time.

 

Remember, she is totally irrelevant to your feelings of jealousy. YOU are the one who has decided, rather irrationally, to make yourself feel jealous. What a piece of work you are. Most sane people make the decision to feel good.

 

Is there a reason you go out of your way to make yourself feel bad?????????