paradoxym Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 I am on marriage #2...We have been married for 10 years. He happens to be 25 years my senior. Things were great and over the past few years he has been experiencing health probs. I don't know exactly how or when, but he stopped looking at me as his wife and now looks at me as his caregiver. There has been NO intimacy of any kind for 3 years and he says he has no desires for me in that way. I love him but have discovered that I am no longer "in love" with him. It is more of a daughter, father, relationship. I have tried, begged, for us to go to counseling, anything but he refuses. I want a relationship with a man that consists of talking, warmth, touching..and I get none of that. I made a promise to him when we first decided to get married (because of our age difference) that I would never leave him alone..I would always take care of him...I have to fulfill that promise and as I said, I love him..just not "in love'...I have begged him to let me go so that I can find what I so desperately need and he said "no". What do I do...? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 If he's not terminally ill or demented, he's a functioning adult who can meet your needs. If he won't, and you wish to live out the rest of your life as something other than a caregiver, you know what to do. Such is always a risk when marrying someone so much older, but it shouldn't be a life sentence of servitude just because you make a promise. Caregiving is hard. I've done it (my mom is demented). I don't wish it on anyone. Follow your heart but keep your head on. Link to post Share on other sites
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