so__juiicy Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 I've been with my boyfriend for about 8months now and i love him to pieces. It's by far the most serious relationship ive ever had (im only 18) and he literally lives with me, so i see him every morning and then he goes to work, i go to university and then we see eachother at night. Here's the problem - Ive got a shaky past with low self esteem, ive never been cheated on but always deep down assume that my current boyfriends in the past are looking for something better... I have more confidence now, but somehow the jealousy just STICKS! My boyfriend has just started at a job at an ALL GIRLS HIGH SCHOOL and as much as i trust him with all my heart, i feel so uneasy when i know he interacts with young girls. I only feel this because ive just graduated high school and i know how flirty girls can be to sexy new student teachers and crush on them and stuff.. And what bothers me more is, my boyfriend is a very athletic person, and at his work, he is an athletics coach & helps out with all sports activities etc, so i'm jsut terrified that some girl my age, whos more attractive than me AND ATHLETIC, therefore has more in common with him will just sweep him off his feet... Not to mention, i dont know any of his female friends.. the 2 that i have heard of, are meant to be like his best friends yet i havent met either of them.. all i know is one of them used to have a huge crush on him, he went to her prom and even has her photo in his wallet - yet still has avoided letting me meet her... i COMPLETELY trust him and know he wouldnt ever do me wrong, but i just seriously need help, WHY cant my head agree with my heart and just accept that if he wanted an athletic girl, then he'd be with one.. i cant bear to go to anymore of his athletic coaching trainings and seeing him laugh with the students, knowing he's just being friendly, but dreading it could lead to more.. please help, i dont want to lose him because of my insane jealousy Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Ok, so you don't want to lose him because of your insane jealousy. What is your plan to overcome it? Have you considered talking to a counselor there at university or a therapist? Link to post Share on other sites
trans Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 u don't need to be so jealous .. just trust im .. and im sure .. everything will fall into place .. just trust him .. and im sure .. ntn will go wrong .. Link to post Share on other sites
malaclypse Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 (edited) u don't need to be so jealous .. just trust im .. and im sure .. everything will fall into place .. just trust him .. and im sure .. ntn will go wrong .. Yeah right, because that's how the world works.... Edited March 5, 2008 by malaclypse Link to post Share on other sites
shanny Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 I wouldn't worry about the school thing too much. If he has half a brain (which I'm sure he does), he won't mess with any students. I'm sure that would have a very negative effect on his career and future if he got caught. As far as the friends, has he through his actions given you any reason to worry about them? I understand the whole jealousy thing because I have been there myself (still am... jealousy is one of things that never seems to go away). What I do when I'm jealous and I really don't have anything to support my worries, I take a deep breath and think about the fight that I may cause if I let my jealousy out. Usually I can control myself. Give it a try. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 I wouldn't worry about the school thing too much. If he has half a brain (which I'm sure he does), he won't mess with any students. I'm sure that would have a very negative effect on his career and future if he got caught. Small amounts of feeling territorial, are healthy and normal. What it means is that you value your b/f. Not such a bad thing. If it dominates your thinking, step back and think of the negative impact it can have on your relationship. Being too possessive, creates more reason for him to pull back. In many ways, it's a form of control over your environment. I guess you have to look at it rationally and say to yourself, what does this accomplish for him, myself and the relationship, as a whole? Your response to yourself should be...nothing. Having said all this, have you ever discussed your issues with him? If not, you might want to have a reasonable discussion with him. Don't go at it in an accusatory fashion, more like a realization that these are your issues. See what his reaction will be. If he's someone considerate, he will understand and try to reassure your concerns. I say all this, due to personal experience with someone who cheated on me. The baggage left is an alertness to possibility, from anyone. But...I won't let it dominate my thoughts or actions beyond immediately walking, if I get those strong gut instincts again v. a touch of territorialism. Know your partner and never blindly trust anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author so__juiicy Posted March 6, 2008 Author Share Posted March 6, 2008 Thanks heaps for all this I mean, its pretty much just reiterated what ive been telling myself anyway, that he would just mess up his traineeship if he was to do anything with a student. I just need to find a way to kick this jealousy, counselling wont do it cuz ive been tehre and found it all a load of crap, i just wanna kick the feeling that he wants to keep me a secret to any other females he may have an attraction to. Link to post Share on other sites
NuTuDating Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 I think you have a right to be a little jealous if he has many girlfriends that you have not met after this long of a period of time. I have girl friends. Any time I start dating someone new, I'm more than happy to introduce them because I'm typically pretty damned happy to be dating someone. If he won't introduce you, ask him why. Link to post Share on other sites
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