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Why do these marriages seem to last so long?


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Mino,

 

As someone who has lived on both sides of the Atlantic, I fully understand what you mean. I think that Americans not only stay in toxic marriages for far too long but also make divorce as messy as possible. This, to me is a sign of an unhealthy society.

 

Yes, life in Europe is easier, more relaxed and fun and just plain healthier. Depression isn't so widespread. I don't know many people who go to counseling or who are on meds. Judging from this board, almost everyone has a a counselor the way we each have our hairdresser and beautician here in Europe.

 

Which brings to me why I quoted you above. Marlena, I think you hit the nail on the head, Since I am here in US , I have turned into a workaholic!! No fest, no dancing unless its a special occasion.:sick: Thats why I run to the other side serveral times a year, and stay a month or so, just to feel like I am alive!! Thank God I have these options. But for those who never leave their state, they know no other world. But again, I see the attitude among the teens. The do have different goals, and that is I feel the reason the european women would not put up with years of a cheating spouse. not saying that nobody cheats there, but they Divorce much quicker. And your right its not so messy like in the US. the laws are different to. Had I married their, I could have payed for a man, just cause I made more money. There is also no lifetime alimony!! Which I think is totally absurd. Until the kids go to school, I understand. But for my ex to sit on his A$$ for the rest of his life and I have to pay, Not fair. So because there are no laws to support such a crime, people tend to seperate without all this revenge. My parents divorced, they went to lunch after the court meeting. Its like hey, didnt work out, I wish you a great life. Here You think, Oh sh$$, i have to give up most of my paycheck for how many years??? Makes people think twice about spilling the beans..

 

 

Must agree with some points but you are saying that divorces in Europe are a simple decision to make and something so easy as "let's have lunch together" afterwards? and in the US we hold back from doing it because of the econmical impact and instead we take the backdoor and start cheating like it is going out of style and sweep it under the mat?

 

Standard of living has a lot ot do with many of the things that are now consuming the US into tragic kingdom. America is one of the riches nation, yet we live way beyond our means, which inclines us to fail in many other aspects of life due to the pressure. (mental and physical health, financial stability, etc...) these are all factors that affect any kind of relationship. Married or not.

More wine drinking is right! LOL! ;)

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I know of a couple, where the husband has bben unhappy for good 12 years. Has grown children, Has not had sex with wife in 10 years, he says. He is staying out of guilt. Wife is happy, hates sex, they have been married over 30 something years. He wish his wife would have an affair, so he can divorce her guilt free. He even said he would pay somebody to have sex with her, and then he felt he had a right to go. I feel sorry for him. I dont think he is cheating on her, nope he just suffers in silence, He is afraid of the cash he also has to put out on alimoney. SAD, Sad, I think. And she is happy as a clam.....

 

 

Excuses excuses on your friends part. LOL!

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Nope , No lover, never cheated. Very religious man. would not consider it. wierd in my book,

 

Your answer in your own question... very religious man. (created his own calvary!)

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