Matthew2106 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 To make a long story short... Me and my girlfriend have dated on and off with a couple of short breaks for 2 years. A lot has happened and like any other relationship we've had our fair share of ups and downs. As a girl she's one of the really flirty types, and used to choose what she told guys. Which in turn made life hard for me because I can become insecure quite easily when something goes wrong in the relationship. I love her with all of my heart, and she's told me I have nothing to worry about. But she's told me that before, in fact... shortly before everything went wrong a little while back. And now it's something as simple as the female friend she's with tonight sending things to her best guy friend asking "What do you think of her?! Tell me!!!!" "What do you think of my friend?" I realise I'm probably being overly insecure and jealous, it's just the amount of urgency she was asking with, as if Emma had already said she likes the look of him, and he is certainly the type she would go for were I not in her life. My friend said he could see my concern, but even I'm not convinced. I think I'm just being ridiculous. It's just with all that's happened up 'til now I've been left worrying a lot. In the past she has cheated on me, but we've moved on since that... And we've spoken about things so much now it just annoys the both of us, and works us up until an argument. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 My friend said he could see my concern, but even I'm not convinced. I think I'm just being ridiculous. It's just with all that's happened up 'til now I've been left worrying a lot. In the past she has cheated on me, but we've moved on since that... And we've spoken about things so much now it just annoys the both of us, and works us up until an argument. Matt, It was VERY clear from your previous thread that this girl doesnt take you seriously, and does not want any kind of comitment to you! In my very humble opinion... it's time you let this girl go. You realize that there are other girls out there right? Link to post Share on other sites
Letranger Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Matt, It was VERY clear from your previous thread that this girl doesnt take you seriously, and does not want any kind of comitment to you! In my very humble opinion... it's time you let this girl go. You realize that there are other girls out there right? I would listen to cobra matt! He is telling the truth! You do not want this girl, and there are plenty of fish! Plenty! Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X30 Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 I would listen to cobra matt! He is telling the truth! You do not want this girl, and there are plenty of fish! Plenty! Thanks! I really appreciate that! Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Matt you seem like a very sincere guy, but to fully have your feelings reciprocated from this girl seems very unlikely. Your lack of self esteem says alot about you, your feeling need to be validated by your gf and your constant jealousy and insecurities might proof too much of a turnoff. Not that I'm making this entirely your fault, but she did cheat on you. Have you wondered why she cheated? It's basically the same as asking why a guy cheated on his gf? Answer: they were looking for fullfillment somewhere else. I highly doubt you'll have much of a future with this girl. She's lying if she says she's not gonna cheat on you again. Same as making a guy promise that. Because cheating is unplanned for, thus she might be tempted to do it again in the future, UNPLANNED FOR. Flirty girls such as herself, may not to be fully committed to a long term relationship, their constant need for attention is what makes them flirt in the first place. Break it off now before you truly get your heart ripped out. That's an advice from a girl's point of view. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 I can also add a girls's perspective and tell you that she isn't being sincere with you. If I was in love with someone, I wouldn't be prompting my best friend to find out what another man thought about me- basically seeing if he is interested. It's nice to be flattered here and there when you are in a relationship- but to actively seek the validation of other men is highly inappropriate. You're not being ridiculous feeling how you do about this. I think she's given you yet another reason not to trust her. I know you love her- but you truly do deserve better. Do you want to continue a relationship with someone that gives you anxiety about stepping out all the time? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Matthew2106 Posted March 6, 2008 Author Share Posted March 6, 2008 (edited) Update: She just got back from college, And I asked her about it. And explained it was making me feel a little uncomfortable to say the least. Apparently her friend asked her what she thought of him, and Emma said "He's ok I guess" And then this girl went off and started asking, Because apparently they're old school friends & she's just really immature. Am I invisible to her friend? Lol. Is this a common girly thing to do even when a boyfriend is current? Edited March 6, 2008 by Matthew2106 Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 NO. It's not common. ANd the story is fishy and not something I would believe for one second. I know you want to trust this girl so badly because you love her- but everything about her sounds like she's playing you. Link to post Share on other sites
twice_shy Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 And now it's something as simple as the female friend she's with tonight sending things to her best guy friend asking "What do you think of her?! Tell me!!!!" "What do you think of my friend?" I realise I'm probably being overly insecure and jealous, it's just the amount of urgency she was asking with, as if Emma had already said she likes the look of him, and he is certainly the type she would go for were I not in her life. My friend said he could see my concern, but even I'm not convinced. I think I'm just being ridiculous.. Oh you're friend is right. Think about it. Why the hell is she pumping your girlfriend up to another guy? Obviously your gf knows she is doing this, or has mentioned something about this other guy, so her friend is playing cupid. I smell a rat here man, and that rat is your gf. Oh, and just saw, she cheated on you in the past? Looks like history is going to repeat itself. Like I said, once a cheater always a cheater. Dump her. Link to post Share on other sites
trans Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 NO. It's not common. ANd the story is fishy and not something I would believe for one second. I know you want to trust this girl so badly because you love her- but everything about her sounds like she's playing you. I completely agree .. hands down I can say that this girl .. is really doing something she should .. I say .. umm .. dump her .. move on .. Link to post Share on other sites
NuTuDating Posted March 7, 2008 Share Posted March 7, 2008 If her friend is trying to set her up and your girlfriend has not PUT A STOP to that, ditch her. There are people out there who don't cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Matthew2106 Posted March 8, 2008 Author Share Posted March 8, 2008 (edited) Here comes another update guys. Basically, Emma's gone out again today... she met up with her female friend again and when she rang me I asked what her plans for the day were. Apparently they were waiting at the train station for this girl's boyfriend and this other guy her friend seemed to be attempting to play Cupid with. Anywho.. I said, "Charles"? "Isn't that the guy your friend tried setting you up with, haha?" And she said.. "I wouldn't say setting up" Basically I'm sat at home now and I'm really uncomfortable, I do realise there are other people out there... but I do love her and as of yet I have no proof whatsoever that Emma's played a large part in this, other than the 2 comments she left for him asking what he thought of Emma, and to please tell her. According to Emma this girl asked her and she said "he's ok I guess" As I stated in a previous post. I can't be the one meeting up with her today as I live an hour and a bit's train journey away, and I had to work until 4. Right now I can only see her for about 5 days in 2 weeks, Thursday - Monday every 2 weeks. When I start my new job however I will be able to see her weekly, but still... How can I confront her about this without her flipping out and using me not trusting as an excuse? When all I want to do is talk about it? I don't want to give her an excuse to say arguing pushes us away. I just need her to sit and understand my point of view and like... yeah, help me out a little. How would her friend like it if I kept asking my female friends what they thought of her boyfriend? And then arranged a meeting? And brought Emma along too, haha. How should I approach her? All I need to do is have a grown up conversation about this. And why it makes me feel bad. Edited March 8, 2008 by Matthew2106 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Matthew2106 Posted March 8, 2008 Author Share Posted March 8, 2008 Update: I'd texted Emma tonight and when I asked what she was up to, and what she'd done she actually came back with saying her friend was trying to set her up with this guy. She also mentioned telling them she wasn't interested, because she had me. Idk. She's not been that straight up and to the point with me about these things for a long time. Could it be she means it this time? If so how would her friend like it if I asked me female friends to have a go with her boyfriend? -_- Link to post Share on other sites
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