Meeting "your men".

[contempbioflo]

I have a concern is that why you can never get away from the male that you meet (simply like you're not interested at all, and you know that they're just not datable.) and then you will always find out that the decent nice males who you're comfortably to be around with them, and every single time that you find out that they are married. Why is that?

I'm frustrated but I absolutely do not support the idea of "stealing" from someone, since I live with morals. If anywho get insights, please share.

[Tony T]

I have a concern is that why you can never get away from the male that you meet (simply like you're not interested at all, and you know that they're just not datable.) and then you will always find out that the decent nice males who you're comfortably to be around with them, and every single time that you find out that they are married. Why is that?

 

I have seven years of college and worked for newspapers for 20 years and the television news departments of both NBC and CBS affiliates and I haven't got a clue of what you are trying to ask above. I must be getting old...I'd love to help you, though.

[Citizen Erased]

I have seven years of college and worked for newspapers for 20 years and the television news departments of both NBC and CBS affiliates and I haven't got a clue of what you are trying to ask above. I must be getting old...I'd love to help you, though.

 

I think she meant:

 

" I have a question. Why is that the men you meet simply do not interest you, they are not dateable at all. Then the decent, nice ones turn out to be married. Why is that?

 

I'm frustrated but I absolutely do not support the idea of "stealing" from someone, since I have morals. If anyone has some insights, please share."

[contempbioflo]

I can rephrase that. Why can't you never get away from the males who you're not interested in, but they keep coming and to bug you. And then the decent nice males who you are interested in, every single time, after you talked or hanged out with them for a few times, (darn that they will hang out with you), and you always find out that they are indeed married. Why is that!

Is this clear?

[FleshNBones]

I can rephrase that. Why can't you never get away from the males who you're not interested in, but they keep coming and to bug you. And then the decent nice males who you are interested in, every single time, after you talked or hanged out with them for a few times, (darn that they will hang out with you), and you always find out that they are indeed married. Why is that!

Is this clear?

I have an idea.

Hook up those undateable guys, and then you might find them more appealing.

[stillafool]

I think the smart thing for you to do is to ask these guys whether they are single or married before you hang out with them. This way you won't waste your time accidentally dating someone who is taken and can concentrate more on the single men. There are a lot of men out there so if you meet someone who you are not interested in move on quickly to someone more interesting. Does this help?

[Curmudgeon]

I can rephrase that. Why can't you never get away from the males who you're not interested in, but they keep coming and to bug you. And then the decent nice males who you are interested in, every single time, after you talked or hanged out with them for a few times, (darn that they will hang out with you), and you always find out that they are indeed married. Why is that!

Is this clear?

 

...that men are like parking spaces. The best ones are always taken.

 

I agree that broaching the subject of their being married, up front, could save time and heart6ache. Then again (and I know this will shock you), some men just might lie about their marital status.

 

As for the ones you consider undatable, I suppose the real question is what filter you're using to arrive at that conclusion. You may be dismissing out-of-hand those who could end up being the best of future partners for superficial reasons.

 

It seems to me that if this has been an ongoing dilemma for you that you, yourself, are the one constant in all these failed liaisons.

[SeraBella]

...that men are like parking spaces. The best ones are always taken.

 

 

But every once in awhile you get lucky and get the first spot!

[Trialbyfire]

There are some really great guys out there, no matter what age you are. Even finding a great guy, doesn't guarantee chemistry or whatever causes people to stop thinking and start emoting.

[carhill]

Color me stupidly married, but wouldn't a lady notice a man's wedding band prior to "you're comfortably to be around with them". I mean, really, how does this happen?

 

Or, do you mean that, even though you already know that they're married, you just enjoy their company anyway and find them to be very comfortable to be around?

 

I actually can say the same thing about women. I find married women to be much more relaxed and easier to be around. It's like their aura is different. Sorry I can't explain better. I know in advance that they're married because I love jewelry and always like seeing lady's rings, so wedding/engagement rings pop right out at me.

 

OP, thank you for your moral code and please remember that relationships aren't cast in stone. Sometimes you may find that married guy is parked in the wrong space

 

Good luck!

[Trialbyfire]

Color me stupidly married, but wouldn't a lady notice a man's wedding band prior to "you're comfortably to be around with them". I mean, really, how does this happen?

 

Or, do you mean that, even though you already know that they're married, you just enjoy their company anyway and find them to be very comfortable to be around?

 

I actually can say the same thing about women. I find married women to be much more relaxed and easier to be around. It's like their aura is different. Sorry I can't explain better. I know in advance that they're married because I love jewelry and always like seeing lady's rings, so wedding/engagement rings pop right out at me.

Enough don't wear rings and even when asked outright, some lie.

 

OP, thank you for your moral code and please remember that relationships aren't cast in stone. Sometimes you may find that married guy is parked in the wrong space

 

Good luck!

If you're parked in the wrong spot, you need to back out and repark legally.

[Ariadne]

Oh,

 

It's very simple. All the good ones are taken.

 

What are the chances that you are going to find a guy that you'd be interested in, that is, nice, smart, succesful, and handsome, that is "single and available"?

 

Pretty much none.

 

And then you have the other problem. That any guy worth its gold is not going to want to date you unless you look like a supermodel.

 

You'd just have to settle for one of those guys you don't like or stay single.

[carhill]

Enough don't wear rings and even when asked outright, some lie.

Yeah, I've heard; I guess such is the mistake I make of seeing other men through my own eyes

 

If you're parked in the wrong spot, you need to back out and repark legally.

 

Tru dat! Honest, it wasn't until I backed out that I saw another name on the space

 

IME, time reveals all. Beware of those in a hurry.

[Curmudgeon]

Oh,

 

It's very simple. All the good ones are taken.

 

What are the chances that you are going to find a guy that you'd be interested in, that is, nice, smart, succesful, and handsome, that is "single and available"?

 

Pretty much none.

 

And then you have the other problem. That any guy worth its gold is not going to want to date you unless you look like a supermodel.

 

You'd just have to settle for one of those guys you don't like or stay single.

 

All the good ones aren't always taken. I wasn't at age 50 when my wife and I got together. I was reasonably nice, smart enough, comfortably successful in my field and she considered me, in her words, ruggedly good looking. I was also single and available. She found me where I found her. We had worked together in the past.

 

My wife considered me worth enough to marry and I wouldn't consider her a supermodel, nor would she. I was interested in how we fit as friends and a couple far more than in how she looked. Admittedly, I did find her attractive but decidedly not supermodel material. If I'd wanted eye and arm candy I'd have looked for someone 20 years younger.

 

Finally OP, don't ever settle for less than you want or deserve. It may take you longer to find it but it will be well worth the wait!

[Ariadne]

All the good ones aren't always taken. I wasn't at age 50 when my wife and I got together. I was reasonably nice, smart enough, comfortably successful in my field and she considered me, in her words, ruggedly good looking. I was also single and available.

 

Oh yeah,

 

And... how long did you last like that?

 

The good ones are available for like, a second or two.

 

Is like the chase for that good parking spot that gets filled right away.

 

And about being a supermodel, that seems to be the number one priority of most men. They want someone "hot". And hot usually means, the perfect face, perfect body, tiny, etc.

[Curmudgeon]

Oh yeah,

 

And... how long did you last like that?

 

 

If you count the time I was considered available by others and women were trying to catch my attention, about a year and a half. In my state it usually only takes six months for a divorce to become final. I think some women started counting as soon as they knew I was separated and divorcing. I'm the one who bided my time then asked out the one I favored who had NOT made an issue of being interested. She'd ever so gently gently hinted it once about a year or so before.

[Ariadne]

If you count the time I was considered available by others and women were trying to catch my attention, about a year and a half. In my state it usually only takes six months for a divorce to become final. I think some women started counting as soon as they knew I was separated and divorcing. I'm the one who bided my time then asked out the one I favored who had NOT made an issue of being interested. She'd ever so gently gently hinted it once about a year or so before.

 

Ok,

 

Since you were getting divorced.

 

Let's say one year till you were married again after a 25 year marriage.

 

More or less what I thought.

 

But anyway, I'm not even looking.

 

I thought of giving eharmony a chance at some point. At least you know that people there are looking and I've heard of people that have gotten married with that.

 

That way you get rid of the problem of finding someone you'd be attracted to but that is married or in a relationship.

 

But I also heard from people (similar to me) that online dating sucks and is a waste of time. It works for some, but I'm more inclined to pay attention to the ones who are like me, and is discouraging. (My friend who tried that).

 

My friend and I don't fall in love that easily, it takes forever.

[Curmudgeon]

Ok,

 

Since you were getting divorced.

 

Let's say one year till you were married again after a 25 year marriage.

 

Let's say it was over two years following separation and divorce.

 

Granted, my wife and I married quickly after we started dating but we'd been friends for five years so perhaps it was actually overdue!

 

No reason to rush to relationship in any case. Taking your time and being discerning certainly have a lot to be said for them.

[Ariadne]

Granted, my wife and I married quickly after we started dating but we'd been friends for five years so perhaps it was actually overdue!

 

Oh, I just thought of something.

 

You were never single and available. Even when you divorced your ex, you had a thing for your new wife since you already knew her from before.

 

Yes, I know it was a "drive" to somewhere something but that was just the start of the relationship.

 

[Curmudgeon]

Oh, I just thought of something.

 

You were never single and available. Even when you divorced your ex, you had a thing for your new wife since you already knew her from before.

 

Yes, I know it was a "drive" to somewhere something but that was just the start of the relationship.

 

First of all, to keep this on topic and for the OP, I firmly believe that sometimes love comes best when we're looking for it least.

 

Now for you, Ms. Ariadne. I was most certainly single and available and there were at least a half dozen women I already knew whom I could have asked out, any one of which would have, I'm quite sure, accepted.

 

In coming to a decision as to which one I would ask to accompany me on the drive you mentioned, I opted for one whom I admired and respected more than the others.

 

Even men have to have their standards, ya know!

Edited March 15, 2008 by Curmudgeon

[lovingheart]

Oh yeah,

 

And... how long did you last like that?

 

The good ones are available for like, a second or two.

 

Is like the chase for that good parking spot that gets filled right away.

 

And about being a supermodel, that seems to be the number one priority of most men. They want someone "hot". And hot usually means, the perfect face, perfect body, tiny, etc.

 

 

Guys probably say the same thing about girls I guess. I can see how you think that all the nice ones are already taken but are they? Where are you looking for these nice guys? Perhaps you're looking in the wrong place.

 

I just read an interesting article called 'Right Man? Wrong Man? Dream Man? ................by Nancy Nicholls. You might find it of interest. Happy hunting!

 

visit this link:

 

http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nancy_Nichols

[Ariadne]

http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nancy_Nichols

 

Thanks! I'll check it out.

[Trialbyfire]

Who is the Wrong Man?

• Does he make you jealous?

• Does he make you wonder and worry?

• Does he make you feel irrational, illogical and angry?

• Does he make you doubt your intuition and common sense?

• Does he give you that yucky, sick feeling in the pit of your stomach?

• Does he make you reach for the Prozac?

• If so-he's the Wrong Man for you!

 

 

How true is this? Particularly the bolded one!

[Lovelybird]

maybe that because some married man have been through some 'special training', but single men who never married didnot have the chance to be 'trained' and so didn't gain some deep understanding about women yet.