Hypochondraic?

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I have a history of depression coupled with self destructive behaviour. Recently my doctor gave me a new prescription (anbilify) to help with my mood swings. He didn't come right out with a clear diagnosis, but I could've guessed anyways. I might be bipolar. It seems clear now my constant mood swings, where I'm ecstatic one day, then sad and gloomy the next. Not to mention coupled with my eating disorder and my past history of self harm, I might even be borderline.

I don't know. I might even be a hypochondriac now. I feel like I'm sick all the time. I started to practically self diagnose myself - histrionic disorder, hypertension, colon failure (laxative abuse), UTI ( past relations with ex), etc... I feel so helpness sometimes.... I lack energy whenever I wake up, and hardly feel like going out. Every time the phone rings I just want to cut the wire. I just don't want to see anyone..... what's wrong with me?

[D-Lish]

Nothing is wrong enough that can't be fixed.

 

Just remember that depressions and manic episodes can affect you physically. I get headaches and muscle aches and sometimes I feel to fatigued to get out of bed.

 

Feeling physically crappy goes along with the mental disorders... so it's no wonder you worry a bit. But I don't think anything is wrong.

 

I think once you find the right combo of meds and get one part under control- the body will follow.

 

I am currently caving and boxing out friends and family. My cell is off and I don't even check my e-mail.

 

SOmetimes I think all this suffering comes with a lot of shame- you lock yourself away so others can't witness how low you feel. I know I don't even let my parents in- it's like I feel unworthy- and I am afraid that if they see me that they will validate my negative thoughts about myself.

Failure, fragile, pathetic, etc. When you're depressed, the body and mind all take a beating. When I am at my worst- like I am now- my anorexia creeps out and I stop eating.... it's all tied in together, as I am sure it is for you.

 

I can't offer a solution- I can let you know you aren't alone though.

It's not a lot- but sometimes it helps me to know you are not the only one who is having these issues. It let's me know my abnormalities are somewhat normal in the grand scheme of things.

 

My only advice is to take the help that is offered to you.

The meds- maybe a therapist... even forcing yourself to the gym.